


The A. B. C.'s

by Nachsie



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alcohol Withdrawal, Alcoholic Castiel (Supernatural), Alcoholic Castiel Novak, Alcoholic lucifer (Supernatural), Alcoholics Anonymous, Alternate Universe - Normal Life, Bisexual Dean Winchester, Child Abandonment, Child Neglect, Child Sam Winchester, Custody Arrangements, Deadbeat Lisa Braeden, Dean Winchester is Bad at Ice Skating, Death of side character, Drug abuser Lisa, Eventual first times, Eventual sex with older teenagers, Fan Dean Winchester, Father Castiel Novak, Fatherhood, Former Olympic ice skater Castiel novak, Friends to Lovers, Homophobia, Ice Skating, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Drug Addiction, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Kindergarten Teacher Dean Winchester, Legal custody of Sam Winchester, M/M, Mention of Death, Missing Lisa Braeden, Mother Lisa Braeden, Munchausen by proxy, Older brother Dean Winchester, Olympic ice skater Castiel Novak, Past Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Past Child Abuse, Past mention of Castiel Novak and Lisa braeden, Punk Gabriel (Supernatural), Questioning Castiel (Supernatural), Questioning Castiel novak, References to Addiction, References to Drugs, Slice of Life, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, Struggling Castiel novak, Teacher Dean Winchester, Teen Gabriel, Teen Sam Winchester, Young Sam Winchester, Younger brother Sam Winchester, mention of homicide, past homophobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-15
Updated: 2019-12-10
Packaged: 2020-12-16 18:33:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 18
Words: 66,406
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21040823
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nachsie/pseuds/Nachsie
Summary: A struggling alcoholic who has part-time custody of his twin children, Abigail and Alexander, finds himself gaining full custody after his ex-girlfriend disappears abandoning both their children to protective services. Castiel while trying to cope with his addiction and now raising his children full time. He finds help comes with their first kindergarten teacher Dean Winchester starting the beginning of a long time friendship...and maybe something more.





	1. Lisa is missing

**Author's Note:**

  * For [wiseoldowl72](https://archiveofourown.org/users/wiseoldowl72/gifts).

Blue eyes opened to rough pounding on the door, his head whined over the hangover he had. He squished his face in discomfort trying to ignore it but it continued. He pulled himself out of bed before he walked over towards the door. 

“I’m coming. Stop banging.” The man called walking over to the door. He pulled open the door seeing two familiar faces looking up at him. He kneeled down instantly as the two ran into his arms letting go of the woman’s hands. “Abigail, Alexander.”

“Daddy!” The twins cried as they held him close. Castiel held them tightly before pulling back. He took in the two children’s black hair and blue eyes, Castiel pushed some hair out of their faces. Their hair unkempt, their clothes looked old. However, he could tell they could use a bath and needed to get their teeth brushed. Castiel hugged them again before he took notice of the woman at the door. Castiel stood looking at her, taking in the sad look on her face.

“Mr. Castiel Novak, correct?” The woman spoke, he nodded.

“Where’s Lisa?” Castiel asked looking around for her. “She is the primary caregiver. I only have them in the summer.” 

“Mr. Novak. I’m Missouri, with child protective services.” She started clearing her throat. “Abigail and Alexander were dropped off at a local fire station in hopes they would be taken into foster care.”

“Foster care?” Castiel held them close. 

“Your wife-” Missouri stated.

“We never married,” Castiel stated. 

“Your ex, she gave up custody of the children,” Missouri explained. “We normally find next of kin to take them, so you were the next in line.”

“What? She just...dropped them off?! How could she?! Where is she?” Castiel snapped. 

“No one knows. She left them with a note saying she was giving up custody of her children.” Missouri stated holding out the note as Castiel read it. It was just a note saying just that, with her signature.

“What the fuck.” Castiel cursed angrily.

“No, bad!” Abigail held his leg, he apologized to the five-year-old petting her hair as Castiel tried to call Lisa. 

** _The number you have called is out of service-_ **

Castiel angrily hung up before he kneeled down to the children hugging them again before looking at Missouri. 

“If you choose to take them full time, you will be their primary caregiver. They will need to be enrolled in kindergarten-” Missouri spoke placing the bags inside they were given with their clothes.

“Yes, of course.” Castiel nodded agreeing. “I’ll enroll them tomorrow. I-I have an elementary school three or four blocks away, but where is she?! She just can't disappear like this!”

"I'm sorry, there's nothing we can do. Especially when she appears to have disappeared on her own accord." Missouri explained as Castiel cursed under his breath.

"She can't drop off the face of the earth!" Castiel snapped but when he realized this was above her paygrade. "...I'll enroll them tomorrow."

“Okay, We’ll be in touch then,” Missouri stated. “I’ll let you settle.” Missouri waved goodbye to the children as Castiel closed the door. He stared at his twins which were mini me’s of him. Looking up to him for guidance during this hard time. Did they even really know what was going on?

“Abi, Alex, why don’t we get you guys in a bath, huh?” Castiel kneeled down helping them out of their heavy coats. Castiel could tell the coats needs to be washed. Castiel walked them to the bath, getting them cleaned and washed like they should have been in the first place. 

___________________________________________________________________________

  
  
  


Castiel brushed his daughter’s long hair as she munched loudly on a pizza he had bought them. Her long black hair was past her butt and was long and beautiful. Castiel softly brushed her hair as they watched some kids show. Both children’s clothes were washing so they wore one of Castiel’s t-shirts. Castiel brushed her hair with care, she would stop chewing when she felt a knot. However, she would go back to chewing once Castiel got it out. Castiel could hear them chew with their mouth open with little munches which Castiel had to admit it was cute. Castiel’s eyes slid over the two-bedroom home. Since he had them in the summer they never had much in the room. Two beds, some of their drawings on the wall, toys but...it wasn’t really a room. The kids deserved a better house than this. 

“The pizza good?” Castiel asked as the kids nodded. “How excited are you to go to school? I am going to get you guys all signed up.” 

“No.” Alexander giggled. 

“No?” Castiel moved to tickle him. 

“Um, Imma cited.” Abigail started chomping on her pizza.

“That’s good.” Castiel kissed her. “I’m going to get us a bigger house.”

“And a doggie?!” Alexander stated as Castiel nodded. He got up to go get napkins to wipe their faces. Castiel eyed the liquor on top of the fridge, Castiel moved to take a swig before he put it back and grabbed the napkin. Castiel walked over to his children to clean their faces. 

“We should get you guys in bed, We have a big day tomorrow,” Castiel stated as the kids groaned but agreed. “Time to brush your teeth.” The kids giggled and ran towards the bathroom. Castiel happily followed after.

_________________________________________________________________________

  
  
  


Castiel held his children's hands as they walked towards the kindergarten. Castiel had to wait until they were approved to start. They were vaccinated, all up to date. Castiel got them new clothes, got up early and made them lunches. New backpacks, their hair was brushed and done. New light up shoes. Castiel tried to get them to start with the other kids but nothing was approved till a week later. Most of the kids were already started and used to school but not his kids. 

“All excited?” Castiel asked as they nodded. “You guys have a nice teacher and will have so many friends.” Castiel walked the kids towards the classroom sixty-seven after getting his guest pass. Castiel knocked on the door which gained the attention of the teacher who stopped talking. The teacher walked over opening the door with a curious smile. Castiel paused seeing the young teacher, green dazzling eyes, stubble, and dirty blonde almost brown hair. His shirt was a form-fitting long black shirt with dark blue jeans, he looked more like a model than someone there to teach children. 

“You must be Abigial and Alexander.” The man kneeled down greeting them with a handshake. The kids got a big kick out of that, feeling like little adults before the man stood up again. “You must be Mr. Novak?” 

“Yes, and You’re Mr. Winchester?” Castiel asked as the man shook his hand, strong grip. 

“Nice to meet you, but please, call me Dean.” The man spoke with a dazzling smile. Castiel smiled but Dean was taken back a bit. “I’m sorry, I have this weird feeling I know you from somewhere.” Dean chuckled. Castiel lightly tensed. 

“I-I just have that face.” Castiel laughed nervously and Dean nodded accepting this answer. 

“Alright, come pick up the kids at one. There is a kindergarten pick up on the circle just to the left, over there. If you have any more questions please call the office and they will call the office.” Dean spoke before kneeling down to the kids. “Come on, we are just starting to trace our a, b, c’s. I saved you two seats together. Wanna say bye to daddy?” 

The twins turned and instantly hugged him. Castiel hugged his children who were nervous and scared but the second they took Dean’s hand and walked in. Dean walked them up to the front of the class. 

“Everyone, say hi to Abigail and Alexander. They will be your new friends.” Dean spoke as the kids all said hi. “I want you to be best friends and make them feel welcome. What're the rules?”

“No one plays alone.” The kids called as Dean smiled leading them to their seats. He then gets them paperwork for the ABC sheet. Castiel watched for a few moments before he closed the door and allowed them to have their first day at school. 

__________________________________________________________________________

  


Getting home Castiel happily went for a shot grabbing his vodka bottle from the top of the fridge, he was craving a drink so bad. Whenever he had his kids awake, he avoided his drinking around his kids. He checked his watch, seeing he still had five hours to pick his children up and sober up before then. He took a couple of shots on his empty stomach, downing the shots with his chaser of sprite and vodka concoction. Castiel walked back to the bedroom to try to sleep off his shots. Needing to sober up before picking up his children, which he fell asleep rather quickly happy for his drinks. 

____________________________________________________________________

  


Castiel groaned as he heard his doorbell ringing, Castiel looked at his phone and cursed getting up and moved to his door. He overslept his alarm. Castiel went to grab his keys, opening the door the twins ran in happily hugging his legs. 

“Daddy!” The twins beamed as Castiel breathed in relief holding them close. Castiel kissed them so relieved glancing up he noticed their teacher holding their bags. 

“Mr. Winchester.” Castiel breathed standing embarrassed. “I-I didn’t mean to sleep through my alarm. I appreciate you dropping them off.”

“It’s really against the school rules for me dropping them off. However, I understand the changes in remembering the kids aren’t already home when you first take them to school.” Dean admitted. “And please call me, Dean.” 

“Thank you, did you want to come in. I felt so bad you drove all this way.” Castiel asked. 

“I shouldn’t.” Dean hesitated but Castiel insisted. Opening the door wider, Dean hesitantly walked in setting the bags near the door. Castiel moved to clean up the kitchen, which wasn’t messy at all except for his shot glass left on the counter. Which he quickly hid, Dean glanced around the walls at the picture. Mostly pictures of the kids which were on the bare walls but something on a shelf grabbed Dean’s attention which he reached up to hold.

“Well, I forgot to go grocery shopping. We’ll just order out.” Castiel spoke grabbing his phone to order some food. 

“Oh...that’s why I know you,” Dean stated as he turned to Castiel who’s smile faded when Dean glanced over. “You’re that Olympic ice skater, Castiel Novak. I-I used to be a big fan.” Castiel blushed embarrassed as he took it from Dean putting it back. 

“I-I wasn’t that good,” Castiel started putting it back on the shelf. 

“Are you kidding, you were amazing! You were the reason I wanted to ice skate.” Dean lit up as he talked. Castiel went redder with each compliment. “Dude, could I get your autograph?” 

“I-I don’t have anything I could sign for you.” Castiel blushed. “But if you want...you can bring something and I’ll sign it for you. Since you helped me out.” 

“That would be...so awesome.” Dean lit up as Castiel scratched the back of his head. Dean was taller than him by a lot, and Castiel didn’t register that till now. 

“Well, did you want to eat pizza?” Castiel stated. “I have some coupons.” Castiel showed off the coupon as Dean chuckled. 

“I really should get going but...Raincheck.” Dean stated softly as he headed towards the door. “They have reading homework. Pretty much means you read to them. I had them pick up a book out of the library. They both have one but you can read one a day.” 

“Do I need to do anything?” Castiel asked. 

“Just do the reading. I will have them explain what they can about the book. Normally they get ‘It’s about a duck’ but it’s good to get them thinking about reading.” Dean confessed. 

“Okay, I will.” Castiel smiled as Dean gave him a soft smile back. 

“I’ll see you tomorrow?” Dean asked as Castiel nodded. Dean walked towards the door, Castiel let him out the door. Castiel turned to his kids happily pressing kisses to their faces. 

“Hungry?” Castiel asked as the kids shook their head no. 

“Mr. W. fed us,” Alexander stated.

“We ated all his chucken.” Abigail laughed. Castiel sighed knowing Dean must have kept them for a couple of hours after school waiting for him before bringing them home. 

“Well, daddy is hungry. So I’ll get you guys ice cream, how does that sound?” Castiel asked as Abi and Alex laughed happily. “Come on, get your shoes. I’ll help you put them on.” The kids giggled as he helped them into their shoes and helped them out the door. 

___________________________________________________________________________

  


“Daddy! Daddy!” Alex called as Castiel held his head after a couple of drinks after the kids went to bed. His head was pounding after one too many drinks. 

“School. Got it.” Castiel got up struggling to help them get dressed, he realized how late it was and opted for just some pop tarts. The kids snacking on them as he walked them down the hall of the school. The school day had already started, Castiel walked over to the classroom which Dean was once again teaching. Castiel knocked on the door gaining Dean’s attention who was in the middle of teaching the class. Dean walked over as the twins smiled seeing him. 

“Mr. W.” The twins giggled running over to hug his legs. 

“Come on you two, back to your seat.” Dean hugged them before allowing them in. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be late. I’m just not used to-” Castiel tried. 

“It’s okay, believe me, it happens.” Dean laughed, Castiel looked like a mess. “The day is yours, go get some rest. Be back at one,” 

“Thank you.” Castiel breathed embarrassed and flustered. 

“See you, later.” Dean waved closing the door, Castiel watched for a few minutes before walking away. Castiel drove to the liquor store grabbing some more vodka since his supply was running out. Castiel got what he needed before he got home and opened the bottle. Drinking down harsh big gulps before heading to bed to watch some movies. 

_________________________________________________________________________

  
  
  


Castiel groaned as he felt someone crawling on his bed, Castiel raised his head to see Abigail climbing into his bed. 

“Daddy? Sicky?” Abi asked as Castiel shook his head no pulling her close. He also felt Alexander move to climb on the bed with him. 

“All better?” Alexander asked as Castiel nodded weakly. He still was a bit drunk. Castiel heard his bottle clank next to him, Castiel turned his head seeing Dean was kneeling down to collect the bottle of vodka, Castiel had finished. Castiel looked up to Dean who gave him a slight glance before he passed out again. 

_____________________________________________________________________________

  


Castiel awoke to the smell of bacon when he heard a plate being placed on the side table. Castiel groaned with a hangover, Dean glanced over at him as he poured him some coffee. 

“Morning,” Dean stated. “How is the hangover treating you?”

“As good as it always treats me,” Castiel whispered sitting up as Dean handed him the coffee. 

“This should help,” Dean spoke as Castiel hesitantly took a sip. This...wasn’t just coffee.

“Ew, what is this?” Castiel asked. 

“You don’t want to know,” Dean stated. “It will help though.”

“Thanks,” Castiel spoke as he took another sip. 

“I’ll take the twins with me to school,” Dean commented. “Since I’m heading that way, and I’ll come to check on you after school when I drop them off.”

“You don’t have to.” Castiel choked. 

“I want to.” Dean shrugged. “Besides you got to sign my poster.” 

“Deal,” Castiel breathed trying to eat as Dean turned leaving his room without another comment. Castiel ate the meal before he laid back into bed before passing back to sleep. 

__________________________________________________________

  
  


It was the first time he didn’t wake up with a hangover but he really craved his morning cup of booze. Castiel walked over to the fridge pouring himself a shot before the kids came home. Just something to calm his craving for a larger bottle. Just a small shot. He heard someone coming up the stairs to his apartment. Castiel put away the shot glass as the door was unlocked. Dean opened the door as the twins came in, Dean turned to look to the kitchen seeing Castiel. 

“Feeling better?” Dean asked as Castiel turned to him. 

“Thanks,” Castiel admitted rubbing the back of his head. “I-I’m sorry you had to see me like that-I-I…” Castiel didn’t have an excuse...he had a drinking problem. He knew it. When he didn’t have his children full time it was easier to hide. Especially when he lived alone.

“We all got our demons,” Dean stated softly as he held out Castiel’s keys. Castiel paused before accepting them. “I borrowed them to let myself back in with the kids.”

“That’s fine. Thank you.” Castiel gave him a soft smile, placing his keys on the counter. Castiel watched Dean return to the kids' backpacks pulling out some place cards. 

“We are placing our letters on things that start with that letter,” Dean stated. “Like we have “A” so we place it on Apples, things like that. They have five cards each so if you don’t have that many A stuff that’s fine. Most people don’t have twins with double the homework.” 

“Thanks, I...really appreciate everything. For real.” Castiel stated before he smiled. 

“It’s the least I can do,” Dean whispered as Castiel pulled out his phone. 

“Well, I’m buying dinner, it’s the least I can do,” Castiel stated. 

“That’s sweet but... I need to get home. I haven’t gone grocery shopping so I have to feed my brother.” Dean admitted. “I’ve been sorta busy with school to do that.” Castiel realized Dean has been putting his life on hold for him, he should have realized how selfish he was being.

“Why don’t you go get him?” Castiel offered. “I owe both of you.”

“I-I couldn’t impose,” Dean stated blushing. 

“Please. It would make me feel ten times better.” Castiel offered before turning to the kids. “Would you like Mr. Winchester to stay for dinner?” 

“Yes!” The twins giggled happily as Castiel innocently turned towards Dean. 

“Sounds like majority wins.” Castiel beamed, Dean looked at him for a few minutes before he chuckled. 

“Okay, you win.” Dean shook his head. “I’ll go get my brother, but I’m buying the soda.” 

“Too late.” Castiel showed him the receipt for the pizza with soda. “Hope you like pepperoni.” 

“I do.” Dean chuckled as Castiel beamed walking him out. “I’ll be back in a moment.”

“You better be, you got twenty minutes.” Castiel teased as Dean gave him a smiled as he walked out.

__________________________________________________________________

  
  


Castiel heard a knock as he was giving his children some of the pizza that had just arrived. 

“Come in.” Castiel turned to the door just as Dean and his brother let himself in. Castiel took in Dean’s brother, maybe at most sixteen. He had long hair and wore a black sweatshirt. He had headphones in which Dean tapped him to take out. 

“Sam, this is Castiel,” Dean spoke. “Thank him for buying us pizza.” 

“You don’t have to.” Castiel choked out. 

“Thank you, Castiel,” Sam spoke as Castiel offered Sam a pizza which Sam took with a thank you. 

“Sam, you’re welcome to sit with the kids on the couch or at the table.” Castiel offered, Sam moved to sit with the twins who happily started to talk to him. Castiel watched Sam interacting with the curious twins. Castiel handed Dean a plate that Dean took with care.

“Thanks, you didn’t have to pay me back.” Dean chuckled.

“It’s fine,” Castiel explained waving him off as they both walked to the kitchen table. “I think the twins enjoy your class.” 

“I hope so, I love my students. I hope to give them a good start into learning.” Dean admitted. 

“Hey, they keep telling me what homework needs to get done and I read to them nightly.” Castiel laughed. “They sure what to impress.”

“I’m glad you take the homework seriously. Sometimes people forget how important reading it.” Dean shrugged. “Sometimes people prioritize other things and sometimes you have to. So I do what I can from school.”

“People appreciate it,” Castiel stated. “I know I can.” 

“Thanks,” Dean admitted as Castiel gave a glance to Sam who was talking to Abi about the tv show they were watching.

“So does he live with you?” Castiel asked. 

“Yeah, He’s been living with me since I turned seventeen,” Dean stated, not adding more than that. Castiel wanted to be curious and ask for more. However, he respected Dean’s privacy and didn’t ask for more. Especially since Dean was breaking his share of rules helping Castiel out like this. 

When the food was eaten, Dean and Sam walked to the door. The twins tiredly getting ready for bed as Castiel opened the door. 

“Thanks so much for coming over,” Castiel stated. 

“Thanks for having us,” Dean stated back.

“Thank you, Castiel.” Sam beamed as he shyly hid behind his slouching since he was so tall. 

“Sam, come over anytime. They adored your company.” Castiel stated as Sam shyly blushed. “I will have to ask you to babysit one of these days.”

“Really?” Sam asked lighting up. “For pay?” Sam happy for the chance at making some money.

“Sam.” Dean shushed him.

“Of course.” Castiel chuckled. “You’ll be the first I ask.”

“Sweet.” Sam beamed.

“Alright, go out to the car, I’ll be there in a second,” Dean stated as Sam listened walking away. “...I don’t want to pry...and I might be a bit forward…” Dean looked down before speaking, Castiel tensed at the words...expecting to hear about his...addiction. “...If you need someone to pick up the kids for any reason, let me know. I can drop them off or even pick them up for school.” 

“T-...Thanks, Dean. I promise. I-I normally don’t drink that much.” Castiel swallowed about his lie, Dean gave a sad smile but said nothing. Castiel wasn’t sure if he bought his lie or not. Dean handing him his business card. 

“It has my cell on it,” Dean commented not judging him for his problems. “Use it when you need it. Any time of day.”

“Thanks,” Castiel stated. Dean turned to leave. “W-Wait, I didn’t sign your poster.” Dean turned back to look at him.

“Sorry, I must have forgotten it at home...Raincheck?” Dean asked with a soft smile as Castiel nodded. Dean turned without another word, Castiel watched him walk downstairs out of the apartment, Castiel watched him go before his children calling him had him turn away to help his kid get ready for bed. 


	2. The break

Castiel snapped awake to the sound of someone rummaging around his house, Castiel groaned holding his head from his hangover. Glancing at the clock that read three in the morning. Which he only passed out after drinking at eleven so being awake right now with this bad hangover meant he overdid it again. Hissing as he rubbed his face trying to feel better. He got up weakly wondering which of his children was up. Castiel walked out to the kitchen surprised to see Dean, in casual clothing cleaning up the mess of bottles off his counter. 

Dean was wearing a white shirt with a plaid overshirt and he looked like he just got out of bed. He looked like he was thrown together instead of his clean well-dressed self. 

“Dean?” Castiel mumbled rubbing his head as Dean glanced up. “It’s three am, what are you doing here?”

“I got a call from your cell phone. From Abigail.” Dean stated before he pointed to the twins sitting on the couch. The twins weren’t wearing the same pajamas as Castiel put them to bed with. 

“What? Abigail?” Castiel asked confused. “How did you even find his number?”

“A ‘W’ looks like this.” Abigail showed her fingers. Meaning she most likely called every person with a W in his phone book. Castiel grabbed his phone on the table looking at the call log seeing that luckily the numbers consisted of just Dean’s with a W. Castiel took a deep breath relaxing. Castiel moved to kneel down to her. 

“Abigail, you can’t just call Mr. W in the middle of the night because you miss him.” Castiel breathed embarrassed. 

“Daddy sleepy-” Abigail tried to explain.

“Castiel,” Dean called as Castiel turned to him. “Can we talk for a second.” Dean handing him some pain relievers which he took.

“Yeah, sure.” Castiel stood walking to the kitchen and instantly started to apologize for the late-night call. “I am so sorry-”

“Cas, she called me because of one or both wet the bed,” Dean whispered. “Have they done this before?” 

“N-No. They haven’t done it years.” Castiel whispered back worried. “Should I be concerned?”

“I don’t want to pry…” Dean stated. “It might be crossing the line but...normally this sort of thing happens when something traumatic happens.” 

“...” Castiel paused before glancing at his kids. He sighed once again. “Their mother recently abandoned them. It’s a long story. She dropped them off at CPS and dropped off the face of the planet ...oh, I guess that wasn’t a long story. But anyways they are with me now and everything is great without her.”

“...When my mother passed, my brother started having night terrors and would wake up and wet the bed.” Dean spoke gaining Castiel’s attention again, something was off about it but Castiel didn't pry. “He used to wake up thinking mom was trying to kill him.”

“That’s...horrible.” Castiel covered his mouth. “Why?”

“I had to take him to therapy and eventually he stopped having night terrors and everything else,” Dean whispered. “It’s just a child’s mind trying to cope with loss. Maybe it is better, but this is a big red flag, restoring to peeing the bed. It will lead to more and more problems.”

“...What should I do?” Castiel asked. “I never had this issue before with Abigail.”

“We have a school therapist but I can talk to Sam’s therapist to see if he would take them in.” Dean glanced at the twins who were eating the cookies Dean had given them earlier and now watching tv waiting for their clothes to dry. “...and Castiel, I don’t think it was Abigail.” 

“But...she called you?” Castiel asked. 

“I think...she is covering for him,” Dean whispered as Castiel turned to her. 

“What makes you think it was him?” Castiel asked as Dean stared at them for a long time, Castiel looked back at Dean snapping Dean out of his thoughts. “Dean?”

“...Just say experience.” Dean stated as Castiel glanced back at his children. Dean handed him a cookie. “...For your headache.” 

“Is that your polite way of saying hangover?” Castiel asked taking and chewing his cookie as Dean stated. 

“I didn’t say that.” Dean chuckled softly placing the trash bag down. “I just like midnight cookies and wanted to share the love.” Castiel chuckled softly rubbing his headache, Dean’s smile faded seeing how sick Castiel felt. “Why don’t you go back to sleep?”

“I need to get this pee bed sorted,” Castiel stated weakly. 

“I’m just waiting for the sheets to dry,” Dean stated reaching out touching his forehead. Castiel was taken back by the intimate touch. Almost...loving like a mother to her child. “I’ll be heading out once they are done. Should be in a few minutes.” 

“Are you...sure?” Castiel asked guilty, he didn’t want to do that to Dean but his head was killing him.

“Yeah, just go shut your eyes, It will be like I was never here.” Dean shrugged lightly. Castiel gave him a sickly smile before he kissed his children’s foreheads before headed back to his room. 

“I owe you,” Castiel called. Dean waved him off. 

“No, you don’t.” Dean breathed as Castiel gave Dean a soft smile before he went to bed. Dean wasn’t wrong, the second Castiel closed his eyes and reopened them. Dean was gone. The children were sleeping on a blow-up air mattress in the living room which Castiel did not remember owning. Dean had somehow sucked up all the pee from the mattress and cleaned it with what Castiel imagined was like a carpet cleaner. The mattress was white and clean looking. When Dean and Sam’s history with Sam peeing the bed, he imagined Dean was a professional at cleaning. 

Castiel noticed a note on the table from Dean.

_ ‘The bed is drying. Should be dry before bedtime, I bought a plastic cover for the mattress to prevent pee messing up the mattress. Saved my life with Sam. You can keep the blow-up mattress for emergencies. _

** _x_ ** _ Dean’ _

“That mother fucker,” Castiel mumbled to himself, placing his hand on his face as he sighed at Dean’s kindness. “...I owe him a lot...he better want a million autographs or something, because I don’t have anything worth all this.” Castiel grabbed himself a shot to calm his hangover with more liquor. 

_______________________________________________________________________

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Castiel was indeed thankful for the protective covering as he shoved the pee sheets into the washing machine. Castiel downed his shot after doing it but regretted it when he realized how bad his hands smelled. Castiel grimaced and went to wash his hands when he heard his front door open. 

“DADDY!” The twins laughed and giggled as Sam and Dean came into the house after school. 

“Kiddos!” Castiel beamed kneeling to hug them. “What are you doing home? I was going to get you in a couple of minutes! ....Thank you again, Dean.” Castiel looked at him.

“It was a half-day today.” Dean shrugged. “We got out at twelve today, so I grabbed the kids and took them shopping for sheets.” 

“What? Dean, you didn’t have to.” Castiel choked up. 

“It’s always a miracle to have extra sheets, besides, Sam needed some new ones anyway.” Dean ruffled Sam’s hair who beamed. “Since he’s become a teenager and all.”

“Look, I just wanted sheets other than power rangers.” Sam laughed. “I’m not too cool for school yet.” Sam laughed with care, hugging Dean. “Cas, can I use your bathroom before we go?” Castiel nodded before looking at Dean again.

“T-Thanks, Dean.” Castiel choked out as the kids happily showed the sheets they had. Castiel smiled listening to them but his eyes moved to Dean. He wasn’t sure how long he was focused on Dean till Sam returned. 

“Okay, I’m ready,” Sam spoke before Dean ruffled his hair. 

“Alright, thanks for letting us use your restroom,” Dean spoke as Castiel stood. 

“Wait, Dean.” Castiel stood as Dean turned. “...D-...Do you want to go to the zoo?”

“Hm?” Dean asked as Castiel suddenly remembered Sam was there.

“You and Sam. I mean.” Castiel spoke shyly. He didn’t know why he was so nervous to ask him. “I seriously owe you both and it would be my treat if you wanted to go with us.” 

“...What do you think, Sam?” Dean asked as Sam shrugged beaming.

“Sounds like fun.” Sam laughed. 

“Yeah, Sure.” Dean turned to Castiel. “When are you planning to go?” 

“...We can go now?” Castiel suggested as Dean turned to Sam. 

“Yeah, sure. Mind if I go home and change?” Dean stated about his business casual outfit. 

“Sure, want to meet there in say an hour?” Castiel beamed as Dean nodded ushering Sam to follow him. 

“See you in a bit.” Dean smiled as he patted Sam’s back moving to follow him out. Castiel watched him go before Castiel felt a tug on his leg. Castiel looked down seeing his son looking up at him.

“I like Mr. W,” Alexander stated as Castiel moved to pick him up chuckling. 

“I do too, he might be the only person I can call a friend.” Castiel smiled as he looked at the sheets Dean bought them. “You got kitty sheets?” Castiel gasped happily. Alexander beamed ear to ear showing off his little sheets with drawn cute cats on them. “What did you get, Abi?” 

“I got dinosaurs!” Abi giggled happily holding them up, Castiel smiled at them, thankful for the kindness Dean gave him. 

“Well, let’s get the first one on the bed before we go,” Castiel started leading them to the room. 

____________________________________________________________________

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Castiel smiled as they waited for Dean and Sam as the twins excitedly ran around near the line playing tag. Castiel noticed Sam first running behind to Abigail who hadn’t noticed him. He yelled boo at her causing Abigail to giggle and laugh. Alexander laughing because he saw it coming. Castiel smiled at the kids when he felt a hand on his hair, Castiel glanced up seeing Dean smiling down at him. Dean ruffled his hair with care, Castiel smiled up at him before Dean took his hands off him to slide them into his pocket.

“You weren’t waiting long were you?” Dean asked with a smile. 

“No, of course not.” Castiel smiled as Sam picked up Abigail holding her on his shoulder. “Come on kids. Which one are you excited about?” Castiel asked taking Alexander’s hand. 

“Daddy, I want a banana,” Alexander spoke as Dean chuckled.

“A banana?” Dean gasped tickling Alexander before they entered the park.

_________________________________________________________________________

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


“Chocolate?” Castiel asked Sam as Sam nodded. Castiel turned towards the ice cream man, happily ordering everyone some Ice cream. Dean watched Castiel getting all the orders with Abigail changing her mind every few seconds with Castiel trying to keep up with her.

Dean smiled to himself when he noticed Alexander sitting on the ground by himself in front of the gorilla glass exhibit. Dean eyed him before he walked over, Dean moved to sit down next to him with a loving sigh before turning to follow Alexander’s gaze. Alexander was watching a mother Gorilla caring for her baby. The babysitting in his mother’s lap as she cleaned bugs from his fur. 

Dean slowly turned to look at Alexander who...seemed so sad. 

“...Do monkeys love?” Alexander asked.    
  


“Monkeys?” Dean asked as Alexander nodded. “Yeah, of course, they feel like you and me. Why do you ask?” Alexander shrugged looking away to play with his shoelace. 

“...would a mommy monkey leave a baby monkey?” Alexander asked not looking at him.

“...Sometimes.” Dean asked. “When they think it’s better for the baby monkey.” Alexander turned to look at him. 

“But...baby monkey would be sad,” Alexander whispered.

“Sometimes, mommy monkeys get sick,” Dean stated. “And they don’t want the baby monkeys to get sick too so they give them to daddy monkeys.”

“Sick like daddy?” Alexander asked referring to his hangovers. 

“Something like that,” Dean explained. 

“Where do mommy monkeys go when they are sick?” Alexander asked.

“Somewhere to get better,” Dean explained. “So she can come home to care for her baby monkey.”

“How long does a mommy monkey go away for?” Alexander asked as Dean sadly sighed. 

“I don’t know buddy, sometimes for a long time.” Dean gave his back a loving rub. 

“...but I miss my mommy,” Alexander whispered tears filling his eyes as Dean softly touched his head with care. 

“Come here, little guy.” Dean sighed with care scooping him into his lap. Dean rubbing the child’s back, which Alexander whimpered. Dean rocked him holding him close as the child cried. “Can I tell you a secret?” Alexander nodded. “Promise to keep it?” 

Dean held his pinky out which Alexander took with care. Dean smiled sadly at him. 

“My mommy went away too because she was sick when Sam was about your age.” Dean brushed some tears away. 

“She was sick?” Alexander asked as Dean nodded.

“You know when you cry, and people pay attention to you?” Dean stated as Alexander nodded. “My mom liked people to pay attention but...she would make us cry to get it.” 

“Why?” Alexander asked, Dean shrugged. 

“Cause she was sick,” Dean explained. “But my mommy couldn’t get help on her own as your mommy did. My mommy had to be taken away.”

“Do you miss your mommy too?” Alexander hiccuped as Dean nodded. 

“All the time.” Dean pet his hair with care. 

“You cry too?” Alexander sniffed.

“Sometimes,” Dean stated as Alexander wiped his eyes. “...but how about this. Sam and I will be here until your mom comes back. We will be right here if you need a hug.” 

“You...will?” Alexander sniffed. 

“Yeah, of course. I won’t go anywhere.” Dean smiled. “Whenever you need me I’ll be here.”

“...Promise?” Alexander held out his pinky as Dean took it with care.

“Promise.” Dean smiled at him before tickling him. Alexander squealed in laughter as Dean paused seeing an Ice cream cone being held out to them. Dean took the vanilla Ice cream cone as Alexander lit up seeing his own. 

“Here you go.” Castiel hummed before noticing his son’s tears. “Alexander, what’s wrong?” Castiel kneeled to him wiping the tears on his cheeks. 

“Nothing.” Alexander beamed to him. Castiel looked concerned but Dean’s soft smile made him relax a little. 

“DADDY!” Abigail choked out with food in her mouth causing Dean and Castiel to turn. “My tooths gone!” Abigail pointed to her mouth where her bloody gum was. Abigail bleeding as Castiel took a napkin pressing it to her mouth. 

“What happened?” Castiel asked.

“She bit into her ice cream and her tooth popped off,” Sam stated a bit away looking on the ground.

“Did she swallow it?” Castiel asked pulling the napkin away. “Abigail spit out the food.” Abigail spat the ice cream in her mouth, looking in the mixture of Ice cream cone, ice cream, chocolate and fudge for a small baby tooth. 

“No, I swear I watched it fall out of her mouth.” Sam kneeled in the area they were in. 

“Did it hurt, baby?” Castiel asked as Abigail shook her head no.

“Come on buddy, let’s find Abby's tooth.” Dean helped him off his lap and help Alexander up. 

“I’ll find it!” Alexander moved to help Sam. Looking down at the floor intensely. 

“My tooth.” Abigail sniffed getting upset. 

“We’ll find it,” Castiel reassured as Dean tried to help find it. After a few minutes of no luck, Alexander beamed. 

“T-The tooth fairy won’t come if I don’t have it.” Abigail cried holding her ice cream. 

“No no, she’ll come. I promise. I’ll let her know.” Castiel rubbed her back.

“I founds it, I think!” Alexander ran over to Dean and Castiel, Dean held his hand out which Alexander placed the white item into his hand. 

“Good-...job.” Castiel paused. Castiel and Dean blinked at the singular white pebble in his palm. Obviously _ not Abigail's _ tooth. The adults glanced at each other and at Sam who obviously was giving up. Sam shrugged and the adults looked at each other again. “...YAY! You found it!” The adults cheered, Alexander clapped his hands happily. 

“You f-found it?” Abigail asked. Castiel nodded. “C-Can I see?” 

“U-Uh, no.” Castiel covered it with his hands, trying to keep the pebble from being seen. “It’s for the tooth fairy so...I need to keep it safe.” Castiel awkwardly lied as Dean snickered. 

“But-” Abigail stated.

“The tooth fairy will give you a lot of money for this if I keep it safe.” Castiel bribed her as Abigail nodded accepting the answer. 

“I’m all bloody,” Abigail started looking down at her shirt.

“My house isn’t too far from here, we can get you cleaned up,” Dean stated picking up Abigail as Abigail clung to Dean carrying them back to the car.

______________________________________________________________________

  
  
  
  
  
  


Dean unlocked his house door, pushing it open for Castiel, Sam, and Alexander who Castiel cradled in his arms. Castiel’s eyes slid over the walls of life that Castiel’s apartment lacked. Pictures of Dean, Sam and their friends all lined the walls in pictures. A couple of college degrees were framed, as well as Sam’s school awards. Castiel noticed a couple of spelling bee trophies on the bar of the kitchen. Sam placed his backpack on the hooks near the door before turning to Alexander. 

“I got some video games in my room if you want to play.” Sam offered. 

“Really?!” Alexander beamed, Sam nodded ushering him to follow. 

“I want to play,” Abigail commented just as Dean sat her on the kitchen table near the sink. 

“Let’s get you cleaned up first.” Dean offered to move to clean her face with a paper towel, he also cleaned her face of ice cream. “Sam, can you grab me a shirt from your donate pile?!” 

Sam came out with a small shirt, most likely a shirt he kept onto that he couldn’t fit anymore. Dean thanked him before helping Abigail out of her bloody shirt and into the new one. Castiel smiled at the kindness Dean constantly showed his children. Dean set her down allowing her to play with Sam and Alexander. She ran off happily before Dean moved to clean the blood from the shirt in his skin. 

“I can wash it for you,” Dean stated as Castiel picked up a picture seeing Dean and Sam when they were children. 

“Thank you.” Castiel smiled at him before putting it down. “...Your home is beautiful.” 

“Thanks. It’s all Sam and I have, so we make it a home.” Dean stated moving to open the fridge, Castiel’s eyes scanned the fridge for some sort of liquor. His body starting to crave it. It had been a bit since his last shot today. Dean noticed his glance. “We don’t have liquor in the house.” 

“I-I,” Castiel commented taken back as Dean offered him a soda. Castiel wanted to be defensive and get angry for the accusing words but...he couldn’t lie to Dean. “...Was it that obvious?”

“You okay to be without?” Dean asked. Castiel swallowed embarrassed.

“...For a little while.” Castiel whispered honesty, Dean eyed him. Castiel looked down opened the soda and drinking it down. He hated it when Dean looked at him when he was like this. 

“Don’t you hate being so dependent on it,” Dean asked as Castiel couldn’t look at him.

“...Sometimes.” Castiel whispered. “It’s like…” Castiel licked his lips. “It’s like skydiving for the first time, it’s feels so good till you realize you don’t have a parachute.” Castiel moved to sit on the couch which Dean followed him. 

“...May I ask when you started?” Dean asked as Castiel eyed him. 

“When I started drinking my problems?” Castiel chuckled scratching his head. “...After my ice injury, I guess.” Castiel confessed. Unsure why he felt so free to speak to Dean about the secrets, the things he kept to himself. Dean took a seat next to him. 

“I remember that,” Dean spoke taking a sip of his drink. Castiel looked down. “You were trying to perform a triple axel…”

___________________________________________________________________________

  
  
  
  


**Flashback**

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Castiel went down after performing his triple axel, his left foot touching the ground. It was almost like slow motion. The people cheering around him went silent as he felt his skate slowly land onto the ice. Castiel’s smile faded when he felt the shoe slip, Castiel’s could only watch as the skate sole and the metal blade snap apart from each other. The bolt snapping off. The blade twisted under him. Causing his ankle to twist from the unstable blade, Castiel remembered the snap as his body rotated. Castiel remembered the sick feeling as his stomach dropped. He hit the ground hard, his body rolling and twisting till he finally came to a stop. Castiel’s head was rolling, his vision was wobbly. The audience gasped as Castiel felt liquid sliding down his nose, as he reached up to touch the blood. He pulled his fingers back seeing the liquid. 

Someone skated over grabbing him as people rushed over. Castiel remembered his coach talking but he heard nothing but silence. Castiel couldn’t make out anything. People crowding around, worry and panic in their faces. Castiel noticed paramedics bringing over a stretcher in front of him. Castiel slowly watched them moving towards him when...he noticed his leg. 

Castiel’s breath halted seeing the mangled mess of his leg, unable to begin to explain the sight. His leg broken, mangled and bloody. Castiel just stared, his body revolting from the sight. The sight he will never forget. The sight he knew would end his life as he knew it...He will never ice skate professionally again.

___________________________________________________________________________

  
  
  
  
  


Castiel wanted the taste of a drink as he remembered the day his life ended. Castiel wiped his tears away, sucking in air when Dean’s hand touched his own. Castiel sucked in the air trying to keep from crying. 

“I never ice skated again. Lost my life that day.” Castiel spoke. “Picked up the bottle shortly after that. To numb the pain...I guess.” Castiel sucked in air. “...My life was never the same after that. It’s been my crutch.” 

“It’s not a crutch, it’s your prison sentence,” Dean admitted as Castiel looked at him. “...something that pulls you deeper into your hole, can never be a crutch...It’s self-punishment. For guilt, you didn’t deserve.” 

“...” Castiel swallowed. 

“It’s not your fault, Castiel.” Dean squeezed his hand softly as Castiel swallowed blinking his tears away. “...Why are you punishing yourself for things you can’t control?” 

“...” Castiel said nothing. “...I’m starting to think you are perfect.” 

“What?” Dean chuckled taken back. 

“Man, I think you’re too good.” Castiel snorted. “I think you are imaginary or some religious idol.” Dean laughed at that.

“I’m not perfect,” Dean mumbled taking a sip of his drink. 

“Please, I wish I was half the man you are,” Castiel stated. “Might be good enough for my kids instead of being known for my drunk coma.” Castiel heard his son calling him as he got up. “I’m coming.” 

“Hey…” Dean commented causing Castiel to turn. “...Just being there, tucking them in every night...that’s better than a majority of people. No matter your problems...you’re there and that means the world to them.” Castiel softly smiled before turning to find out why his kids were happily calling his name. 

  
  
  



	3. Sam's plea

Castiel rushed towards Dean’s classroom blushing embarrassed once again for oversleeping his alarm after his last hangover. Dean had left a voice mail stating he had a few things he needed to wrap up so he couldn’t take the kids right after class home. Dean also asked if Castiel could pick up Sam from school since Dean was unable to. 

Which though late, Castiel did. Shooting Dean a text and picking up the teen, Sam and him walked towards the classroom. Sam trying to keep up with Castiel’s frantic steps. 

“He won’t be mad,” Sam called. “He loves the twins, he doesn’t mind the company when working.”

“He really should be.” Castiel breathed annoyed with himself as they rounded the corner. Pausing only when Dean came into view. Dean holding the twins behind him, protectively standing in front of them. A man stood angrily talking to Dean, his finger in his face as he hissed at him. Dean stared at him in pain trying to remain calm for the kids, the man gripping his wrist in an obviously painful position. 

“_You_ _fucking hear me when I’m talking to you?”_ The man hissed, Dean nodded weakly trying to get him to let go. Castiel’s chest tightened in anger at Dean’s upset nature when Sam ran towards the man angrily shoving him off Dean.

“GET OFF HIM, CAIN!” Sam snapped, using his strength and length against the man to knock him off guard. Dean yanked his free wrist away holding it close as it started to bruise. 

“Sam, no, I got it-!” Dean tried but Sam pressed his chest against Cain’s getting in his face.

“He said he got it.” Cain snapped back brushing some hair out of his face before shoving Sam away from him. “Fuck off, brat.” Sam slammed back against the wall.

“Cain! Stop!” Dean moved to protect Sam when Cain whipped his hand back hitting him. Castiel grabbed his wrist after the hit elbowing him hard in the face. Cain fell back onto the ground holding his nose.

“You fucking bitch. You broke my nose...” Cain groaned on the floor recovering from the hit. 

“Daddy!” The twins sobbed as Castiel scooped up Abigail. 

“Are you okay, Dean?” Castiel cupped the back of his head comfortingly. Dean nodded his lip bleeding before picking up Alexander. Castiel grabbed Dean’s hand pulling him along. Despite the fact Dean had his car there, Castiel wouldn’t let his hand go till Dean was in the car.

“What the fuck is he doing there?!” Sam cursed.

“Sam, stop. You can’t cuss.” Dean sniffed shaking. 

“I’m sorry! But you have a restraining order!” Sam snapped. 

“Sam, please, I have it under control.” Dean shaking. Castiel handed him a napkin for his busted lip. 

“Who was that?” Castiel asked as Dean rolled down the window to spit out blood from his mouth at a stop sign.

“My kind of my ex,” Dean commented. Castiel looked at him seeing the blood in his mouth. 

“It was more like a business arrangement.” Sam scoffed. “Dean never liked him. He just needed money to take care of me, that’s why he even bothered with him. If it wasn’t for me, Dean wouldn’t have had to sell himself-”

“Sam, shut up!” Dean snapped not wanting Castiel to know. Sam went quiet, the ride was silence till they got to the house.

“Sam, take the kids upstairs,” Castiel spoke as Sam nodded, the kids following instructions to go upstairs as Dean tensed next to him. Castiel waited till they were gone before he spoke. 

“...So you were with him for money.” Castiel whispered delicately as Dean nodded hesitantly. 

“I needed money to care for Sam and support myself until I was done with school,” Dean confessed trying not to tear up. “He seemed like a nice guy. Knew my situation. He offered me money to be his….and I took it. He paid for my apartment, groceries, and anything I needed. I thought it was like a sugar baby deal...and It was fine till he started to...offer me to others.”

“He became your pimp,” Castiel stated. 

“He never let me say no. He would hit me if I refused, threaten to call cps on me...so I put up with it till I graduated and got my job at the school, I moved cities. However, he wouldn’t let me go. Said I was his. Said I owed him more than I gave.” Dean blinked tears in his eyes. “I had the cops involved. I put up restraining orders but nothing works. He won’t stop till I go back to him-”

“I won’t let him hurt you again, ” Castiel stated seriously as Dean tried not to cry, but tears pulled in his eyes.

“You don’t...hate me do you?” Dean whispered.

“What? No! Never!” Castiel choked as Dean covered his eyes crying, his lip swollen. “Dean, you did what you had to, to support your brother and give you guys a better life. But Dean you are my best friend. I never would or could hate you.” 

“...I’m sorry, I never wanted you to know about that,” Dean whispered weeping as Castiel pulled him into a hug. “I don’t want you to think less of me.”

“You don’t need to keep anything from me, Dean,” Castiel whispered petting his back with care as Dean cried. “I could never think less of you…” Dean sniffed wiping his tears as he pulled back looking like a mess. Dean smiled with care at Castiel.

“He busted your lip pretty good.” Castiel touched it as Dean sniffed. 

“Does it look that bad?” Dean asked as Castiel cupped his face softly touching his swollen lip. 

“It just looks like you got some botox in that bottom lip.” Castiel teased as Dean sniffed wiping his tears before he pulled back. 

“...I’m going to have to move.” Dean sighed holding himself.

“Well, I got to move too. The kids deserve their own rooms and a backyard...” Castiel took his hand with care. “...I was...looking in houses close to the school. There was one with five bedrooms. I...figured it was too much with me and the kids. However, it wouldn’t be too much for me, the kids, Sam and you.” 

“I-I couldn’t impose-” Dean was taken back as Castiel squeezed his hand. 

“You practically are here in all hours of the day.” Castiel laughed as Dean wiped his face smiling. “Besides, It would make me feel better to know if that creep tries to mess with you again.” 

“...” Dean smiled at him. 

“Tell me you agree, or I’ll cry.” Castiel laughed as Dean smiled at that. 

“...Okay.” Dean whispered as Castiel beamed. Castiel’s heart pounded at that seeing the relief in Dean’s eyes. “...Thank you, Castiel.”

“No problem.” Castiel beamed before he took off his seatbelt. “Come on in. I’ll look at that lip and order us something to eat.” 

“But my car.” Dean glanced back.

“We’ll grab it later when I’m sure that guy is gone,” Castiel stated as Dean took off his seatbelt and climbed out of the car. Castiel got out as well, walking up to the apartment with Dean.

____________________________________________________________

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Dean sighed with care looking at the three kids sleeping on the air mattress after their movie. He had planned to go to retrieve his car after the movie but now that his brother and the twins were fast asleep on the air mattress Dean didn’t want to wake him. 

“Frozen always knocks them out, guess that works on Sam too.” Castiel offered him a shot that Dean took with care. “Figured you could use one.”

“After today, yeah.” Dean tapped their glasses together before they took the shot. Dean grimaced at shaking at the taste.

“Not your flavor?” Castiel asked as Dean eyed him before placing the drink on the counter for more. 

“No,” Dean stated as Castiel chuckled pouring him some more. Dean clanked his glass against Castiel’s before drinking it down. “I normally don’t drink.”

“Really?” Castiel stated. 

“I eat my feelings.” Dean stuck out his tongue which Castiel beamed and slid over some chips. Dean chuckled at the cute gesture, Dean took a bite of his chips before taking another shot with Castiel. “At least my issues taste better.” Castiel laughed at that. 

“Fair.” Castiel beamed. Dean eyed him before speaking. 

“I’m sure you have questions about my past,” Dean commented.

“I’m sure you have questions about mine.” Castiel shrugged. “Want to play truth or dare?” 

“What are you, seven?” Dean chuckled as Castiel wiggled his eyebrows.

“Come on, it will be fun. We will just ask questions.” Castiel hopped onto the counter pouring himself and Dean a shot. “Don’t want to answer you take the shot.” 

“Fine.” Dean snickered. “...because it’s a Saturday tomorrow.” Dean took a bite of some chips, Castiel chuckled. “You go first.”

“Okay,” Castiel stated. Dean stated holding his shot just in case he needed it. 

“What’s your sexuality?” Castiel asked as Dean snickered. 

“Curious why I would have a male sugar daddy in my past?” Dean hummed. “...I’m gay.” 

“Ah,” Castiel commented as Dean looked at him.

“You?” Dean asked as Castiel shrugged. 

“As far as I know, I am straight,” Castiel stated taking a chip. “I am not against dating men, I just never had someone I liked enough to try with.”

“So bi-curious?” Dean teased as Castiel chuckled. 

“Maybe. Not sure.” Castiel stated. “Never wanted to sleep with someone of the same sex, maybe if that situation comes up it will change my mind...but it’s my turn now.” 

“Okay, go ahead.” Dean smiled. 

“Why do you have sole custody of your brother?” Castiel asked. Dean eyed him before he took his shot. Castiel put his hands up in defeat to the question. “Your turn.” 

“Were you ever married?” Dean asked. 

“No.” Castiel shook his head. “Lisa and I were engaged before my accident. We never married though, She called it off because of my drinking problem before she found out she was pregnant. We have been separated ever since...my turn?” Dean nodded.

“What happened to your parents?” Castiel asked. Dean scoffed seeing Castiel trying to go around the first question as Dean started to pour himself another shot. “You don’t have to go into detail.” Dean paused eyeing him.

“...My father died from cancer around when Sam was two.” Dean answered. 

“And your mother?” Castiel asked, Dean didn’t hesitate to take the shot. “...Your turn.”

“Why are you so nice to me and Sam?” Dean asked. 

“To be honest, I like you,” Castiel confessed. “You know...my issue. You haven’t yelled or screamed or judged me. You...make me feel safe and Sam is a good kid. You raised him well. Why wouldn’t I want him around?”

“You’re sweet,” Dean commented blushing looking away. “Your turn.”

“What do you look for in a partner?” Castiel asked. Dean’s curious face made him blush. 

“Why do you ask?” Dean asked. Castiel blushed taken back. Maybe it was the liquor? Why did he care to know that? 

“Just curious,” Castiel asked as Dean nodded accepting the answer.

“I guess, someone who would love Sam as much as I do. Funny. Kind. Protective of me, but...not jealous protective. Someone who cuddles and likes bad films.” Dean chuckled with a shrug. “I don’t know honestly. I never really had a real relationship.”

“Never had a boyfriend?” Castiel asked taken back.

“I was living with Cain since I was fourteen.” Dean shrugged. 

“...” Castiel said nothing as Dean glanced at him before doing a shot.

“He wasn’t...that bad in the beginning,” Dean mumbled. “It’s only when I turned seventeen that it got bad.” 

“Because you weren’t the age he liked anymore,” Castiel stated as Dean swallowed saying nothing before he poured himself a shot and took it again. “Sorry.”

“It’s fine, It’s my reality. I’ve accepted it.” Dean breathed ruffling his face. “My turn?”

“Yeah, of course.” Castiel took his hand as Dean gave him a soft smile. 

“Do you miss her?” Dean asked as Castiel looked taken back.

“Lisa?” Castiel asked before he shook his head no. “I think a part of me will care for her but...when I was hurting most she turned her back on me. I don’t think I could love her anymore.” They said nothing for a long time before they both took a shot.

“That went dark.” Dean chuckled pretty tipsily. 

“Yeah, this was supposed to be a fun drinking game.” Castiel chuckled. “Why don’t we do an actual truth or dare game.” Castiel poured them another shot.

“Fine. Your turn.” Dean commented as Castiel eyed him.

“Truth or dare?” Castiel asked as Dean took his shot.

“Dare. We had enough truths today.” Dean hummed. 

“I dare you to...I don’t know. Take off your shirt.” Castiel commented. Dean laughed but complied taking off his shirt. Castiel chuckled taking his shot.

“Truth or dare?” Dean asked as Castiel smiled.

“Dare,” Castiel stated. 

“I dare you to put on Abigail’s bow headband.” Dean snickered as Castiel grabbed it off the table putting it on. Dean snorted, Castiel shushed him trying to keep it down. “Sorry.” 

“Truth or dare?” Castiel asked.

“Dare.” Dean hummed. 

“I dare you to close your eyes and let me do whatever I want to do to you.” Castiel hummed diabolically as Dean chuckled nervously closing his eyes. 

“You suck.” Dean snorted closing his eyes as Castiel grabbed a permanent marker from the drawer quietly. Castiel moved to him as Dean held his own hands nervously playing with them. Castiel opened the pen to draw something on his face when he noticed Dean lick his lips. The movement was so subtle. He almost didn’t notice it. Castiel paused his movements just...staring at Dean’s lips.

...He was sure it was the liquor. 

Castiel’s hand cupped the back of Dean’s head roughly pressing his lips against Dean’s. Dean moaned at the touch, wrapping his arms around his shoulders as the kiss deepened. 

Oh, Dean’s lips were soft.

Dean kissed back rough and slow meeting his kiss. Dean stood holding Castiel’s body close, Castiel nipped at Dean’s lips wanting more access to his mouth. Dean pulled back hissing from his injured lip from earlier. 

“Shit, I am so sorry-” Castiel spoke touching his now bleeding lip. “I was just so into it, I didn’t think-” 

“Want to have sex?” Dean breathed lustfully as Castiel went deep red. 

___________________________________________________________________________

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


After a quick lock of the bedroom door, and replaying Frozen for the noise. Dean quickly unbuckled his pants, sliding them down. Undressing as Castiel got the hint pulling off his clothes as well. Going deep red seeing how good Dean’s body looked compared to Castiel’s beer belly. Dean had abs. Abs Castiel barely remembers himself having. 

He barely had time to think before Dean’s lips returned to Castiel’s. The kiss lustful and sweet, Dean’s body pressed against his own. Castiel couldn’t help but pressing back against Dean’s as he backed Dean back into the bed. Dean broke the kiss to pull himself back on the bed. Castiel breathed nervously looking down at Dean’s hardening cock. 

Castiel swallowed knowing his own was erected already after just kissing...God, it was so long since he had sex with anyone. Dean smiled at him softly ushering him over with a finger. Damn, how sexy Dean could be in such innocent ways. Castiel climbed onto the bed, moving to reunite the kiss happily. Dean’s legs opened to him as Dean’s hands slid over his back and ass. Castiel rocking against him experimentally as Dean moaned against his lips.

“You have lube?” Dean breathed breaking the kiss. 

“Yeah.” Castiel swallowed pulling back grabbing a bottle of lube from his drawer. Dean relaxed into the sheets taking the lube from him. Dean spilling it into his fingers before he moved his fingers towards his hole. Castiel swallowed lustfully watching Dean stretching himself for his viewing pleasure. Castiel’s eyes watching him with a shaky breath. 

“Do you have condoms?” Dean asked, Castiel shook his head no. “Would you be okay with bareback?...I’m clean. I get tested every year.” Dean added shyly. Ashamed of his past. 

“I-I’m clean too.” Castiel cleared his throat. “I-I haven’t...In a long time but I’m clean.” 

“Okay.” Dean smiled as he opened his legs more. Castiel watched Dean stretching himself. Castiel licked his lips, seeing Dean taking his time to give Castiel something to watch. “Y...You like this?” 

“...Y-Yeah,” Castiel spoke. Dean biting his lip, touching himself...for Castiel. This...was making him hard. 

“Touch yourself.” Dean breathed holding out the lube, Castiel nodded accepting the request. Castiel poured the lube onto his hand before he moved to his twitching cock. Desperate for pleasure. Castiel moaned in relief, moving his hand slowly and easily on his cock mimicking Dean’s speed.

Dean moans perfectly. 

Dean’s airy moan was a lot for Castiel, Castiel watched Dean pleasuring himself with his fingers. However, Castiel couldn’t wait for long to touch him. Castiel moved into the space of Dean’s legs. Dean taking the hint removing his fingers, looking up at Castiel. Castiel moved to kiss Dean, easily and slow. 

Dean held him back when he felt Castiel pressing himself against his hole, Dean moaned when he felt Castiel pressing himself into him. Dean broke the kiss to moan, which Castiel blushed at such a noise. Despite Castiel not liking his body, his body giving Dean pleasure was...amazing. Castiel pressed into him holding himself when he was completely in. Pressing kisses to Dean’s collar bone. Dean wrapped his legs around his waist, Castiel left hickeys on Dean’s skin. 

“Y-You can move.” Dean panted as Castiel returned to kiss Dean’s lips. Moving his hips slowly and easily, Dean was tight. Dean tasted so good. Castiel’s hands couldn’t leave Dean’s skin. His mouth couldn’t leave his skin. Dean gripped his headboard, panting loudly against his kisses. 

Their bodies moved so well with each other, Dean’s gasps of pleasure made Castiel never want to let him go. When they came, they came hard in unison. Dean mouthing against his lips as he came. Castiel stared into his eyes as they did. Their bodies relaxing against each other. Dean lulling his head against Castiel’s shoulder. Panting and gasping for air. Castiel continued to leave hickeys against Dean’s neck and shoulder blade. 

“Dean, that was-...” Castiel breathed smiling against his skin. “Holy shit, I’m bisexual.” Dean cracked up at that. Dean holding Castiel close, wrapping his arm around him holding him close as Castiel recaptured his lips delicately. 

They easily made out taking their time before he pulled himself from Dean, seeing cum spilling Dean. Dean shuddered before he laid back down near Castiel. Dean turned to curl into Castiel as he laid against his chest. Castiel held him close breathing a sigh of relief, just catching their breath. Dean sucked in the air holding him close relaxing against him. Damn, that was better than...anything. Castiel rubbed circles around Dean’s back as Dean relaxed against him. Castiel enjoying the comforting feeling of someone so close. It was just natural, and even when Dean closed his eyes falling asleep. Castiel continued to hold him till he fell asleep. 

___________________________________________________________________________

  
  
  
  
  
  


A knock on the bedroom door caused Dean to groan beside him with his hangover, Castiel nursing his hangover.

“Daddy!” Abigail called as Castiel stood grabbing his pants. Dean turned back into the pillow burying himself into the blankets to sleep the sickness away. Castiel walked over to the door unlocking it as Abigail held out breakfast. “Daddy, breakfast!”

“Did you make this?” Castiel asked.

“I helped Sam!” Abigail spoke as Castiel glanced up seeing Sam who...noticed Dean was in the room with him. Castiel laughed nervously closing the door to the bedroom. Sam turned walking out of the room, throwing the plate of food back on the counter and stormed out of the house.

“S-Sam.” Castiel moved to follow him. “Abigail stay here.” Abigail watched him run out of the house. “Sam wait.” 

“You are _ just  _ like him.” Sam snapped in tears. “Using Dean.” 

“I-I’m not using him.” Castiel choked out as Sam looked at him in anger. 

“You are! Dean...Dean is so nice and naive!” Sam snapped in frustration. “You are using him to hide your alcoholism from the world! Dean covers the fact you are so drunk you didn’t wake up when your kids tried to wake you up when they peed the bed! So they called my brother!” Castiel flinched at that. He...thought they just called Dean, they...had tried to wake him? 

“Sam-” Castiel tried but Sam was crying. God, he looked like Dean when he cried. 

“My brother ISN’T meant to be used and discarded!” Sam growled. “You are JUST like Cain!”

“Sam-” Castiel tried to touch him with care but Sam slapped him.

“When will someone care about my brother?!” Sam shoved him. “When will someone give a shit about him for two fucking  _ seconds _ to get their shit together for him?! He’s not fucking Doctor Phill! He isn’t here to fix you-!” Sam continued to hit and punch him before Castiel pulled him into a tight hug. Sam tried to fight him till he broke down crying accepting the hug. 

“It’s okay, Sam. I won’t hurt either of you. I won’t let anyone hurt you or Dean ever again.” Castiel whispered with care as Sam silently cried. “I can’t tell you if Dean and I, whatever is happening between us, we will remain friends. No matter what. I won’t hurt Dean. I won’t use Dean. I won’t disappoint either of you. I promise you. Please trust me. I never want to make you or your brother cry.”

Sam said nothing as Castiel held him till he calmed down, wiping his snot and tears on his sleeve. Castiel ruffled his hair with care, giving him a big squeeze. 

“Come on, let’s get back upstairs and get you guys some donuts with that breakfast,” Castiel spoke as Sam sniffed. 

“Glazed donuts?” Sam asked. 

“Sure.” Castiel chuckled moving to wipe his wet cheeks. “What kind donuts does Dean like?” 

“Chocolate.” Sam smiled as Castiel walked him upstairs with him.

____________________________________________________________________________

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Dean whined when he felt someone shook him softly, Dean opened one eye seeing Castiel laying next to him. Dean glanced at his hand seeing Castiel offering him a couple of pain relievers, some milk and a box of chocolate donuts. Dean smiled softly with affection before he sat up. Taking the pain relievers he popped them into his mouth and took the drink.

“You got me donuts?” Dean chuckled softly sitting up more taking a donut from the box. “If this isn’t the best way to wake up…”

“I figured you deserved a good morning.” Castiel smiled softly, Dean eyed him taking in his soft expression. 

“...Can I kiss you?” Dean asked as Castiel blushed nodding. Dean leaned in kissing him with care in a soft morning kiss. Castiel kissed back, letting their lips move against each other. Before Dean pulled back to bite the donut with a smile. “Now that’s a good morning.” Castiel blushed as Dean happily chewed at his donut. Castiel eyed him with care before taking one for his own. Eating his donut with him, as Dean nursed his hangover with some chocolate donuts. 

  
  
  
  
  



	4. Moved

Dean placed down boxes on the floor of his new home, Dean sighed in relief as he walked over to the bed plopping down on it tiredly. Dean closed his eyes when he felt someone plop down next to him. He didn’t have to open his eyes to guess who. 

“What do you think, Sam?” Dean breathed. “Think we are making the right move moving in here?”

“I don’t know,” Sam started looking up at the ceiling. “...Cas and the kids are nice though.”

“I’m a bit worried about trusting someone again.” Dean opened his eyes. “...As stupid as I was...I trusted Cain. He was the only person who cared for me. Even for a moment.” 

“He never cared about you.” Sam sat up as Dean turned to look at him. “I think you known that.”

“...Yeah.” Dean breathed covering his face, rubbing it. 

“...Besides...I always cared about you.” Sam started innocently as Dean sighed with love pulling him close. 

“You always count.” Dean hugged him with love as Sam hugged back. “I care about you too, Sam.” Dean took a deep breath before letting him go. 

“So you are going to have your own room?” Sam asked curiously. Dean blinked at that.

“Why wouldn’t I?” Dean scoffed playfully, not knowing Sam knew about...Dean and Castiel’s drunken sex. 

“No reason.” Sam kept his secrets as Castiel came in plopping a box onto the desk moved in. 

“How do you like your new room, Sam?” Castiel asked as Sam glanced around. The room was bigger than he had before. Had its own window seat with two built-in bookshelves for his books on both sides. Castiel even had the room painted a sage green with white trimmings. Castiel was having the kids’ rooms painted so he added on Sam’s with his favorite color. 

“I like it.” Sam beamed. “I can’t wait to decorate. I never had a room I could paint before.” 

“Well, it’s yours now.” Castiel ushered as Sam beamed. 

“I got some frames for all my posters. I’m so excited.” Sam stood moving to the box Castiel brought in, before pulling it out. Dean got off the bed watching Sam glancing at the walls to plan his decor before Dean and Castiel walked out. Castiel placed a hand on the small of Dean’s back, Dean shivered at the caring touch. He never had someone touch him with care, touch him without wanting something in return. 

“So, um...you got plans for your room?” Castiel asked shyly, Dean turned to look at him. They were in this, they are friends but they also slept together awkward. Dean smiled at Castiel’s shyness around him. 

“No plans.” Dean shrugged. “However, I might need help later hammering my nails.” Castiel went red at that, smiling at the memory of sex with Dean. “...You know for my picture frames.” Castiel went redder with embarrassment thinking Dean was referring to sex the first time instead of something innocent. “...I’m just fucking with you, I was referring to sex.” 

“O-Oh.” Castiel choked out going redder assuming it was possible. 

“Did you want to come by my room later?” Dean asked as Castiel nodded quickly. Dean smiled glancing around before he leaning in kissing Castiel. Castiel moaned softly kissing him back holding him close to his body before their little make-out session broke up when the kids’ screams of happiness running around their new house. Dean shot Castiel a blushing smile before Dean continued down the stairs. Castiel swallowed blushing touching his lips before he continued on his way. 

________________________________________________________________________ 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


“Um. Um.” Abigail tried to practice her reading as Dean sat at the table with her pointing to the words in the book. 

“Sound this out.” Dean reassured her as Abigail stared at the word ‘Ham.’ 

“Ha - Ha -” Abigial started as Dean sounded out the words to help her. “Mmm.” 

“What’s this word?” Dean covered the ‘m’. 

“Ha?” Abigail tried after spelling it out.

“And this world?” Dean offered. 

“...A...An...Am?” Abigail tried as Dean nodded. 

“Put the words together,” Dean commented as Abigail thought about it putting two and two together. 

“Ha…?...Am? Ha-Am…?...Ham?” Abigail asked looking to Dean as Dean nodded. 

“Yes, you got it. It is ham!” Dean beamed as Abigail squealed happily. 

“HAM!” Abigail squealed as Alexander looked at the book.

“What about me?” Alexander frowned, Dean smiled. 

“You can do the next word.” Dean pointed to ‘I’.

“I!” Alexander beamed in pride as Castiel continued to make dinner.

“That’s too easy. Try this word.” Dean pointed to ‘do’.

“D...Da...Da..” Alexander tried thinking hard. 

“No, look at this vowel. What’s the noise for this?” Dean encouraged.

“...Ooo.” Alexander looked at him for reassurance.

“Yes, and now how do you say this?” Dean pointed to the ‘D’.

“D….Dooooo.” Alexander tried as Dean nodded. “Do?” 

“Yes! Good job, you guys!” Dean clapped as the kids beamed happily. Castiel smiled so proudly of his kids already so advanced in their education thanks to Dean. Advantages for having a teacher live with them, Castiel walked over to their empty plates pouring food onto it. Dean moved the book away as the kids happily moved to eat. Castiel placed some on Dean’s plate as well. 

“Sam! Dinner!” Castiel called but Sam didn’t come down. 

“...I’ll go get him.” Dean moved to get up but Castiel touched his shoulder with care. 

“I’ll get him.” Castiel moved upstairs to get him. 

__________________________________________________________

  


Sam sat in his room organizing the new space, he sat down in the window seat before opening his window. The window was perfect except it looked straight into the room in the house across. Sam glanced in seeing the floor was messy. There were clothes on the floor and a couple of comic books tossed around. Sam could see it was a older teenagers room. Sam jumped when the window opened with a click as an unamused teen glanced at him. Around Sam’s age for sure. 

“Hey.” A person just came out of nowhere, peeking out from the wall he must have been against. “I got nothing good to steal.” The teen spoke annoyed. Sam blushed surprised getting caught waving his hand frantically.

“I-I’m not a thief-” Sam tried as the shirtless teen with slicked-back hair raised an annoyed eyebrow.

“So what then? You a peeping tom?” The teen asked which made Sam blush and freak out harder.

“W-What?” Sam choked out looking away. “N-No! I-I was just...I-I don’t know. Checking the view…? H...how did you see me anyways?” Sam asked as the teen pointed back at the mirror on the other side of the room that Sam noticed himself in. Sam blushed harder seeing himself. “I-...I am so embarrassed.”

“I get it, you’re a perv.” The teen shrugged as Sam choked out at that. 

“N-No-!” Sam spat, the teen laughed at Sam’s embarrassment. 

“I’m kidding, I get it. You are just a little curious who your handsome neighbor is.” The teen lazily laid against his windowsill. 

“Ah, So you met my _ other _ neighbor,” Sam commented getting a lazily small smirk from the teen with the accent. “...Where are you from?” 

“I’m from Brooklyn.” The teen stated. “Just moved here a couple of months ago.” 

“That’s cool. I-I have never been.” Sam stated curiously. “What’s your name?”

“Gabriel.” The teen lazily laid his hand on his chin. “And you are?” 

“My name is Sam. I just moved here.” Sam stated before blushing, duh you just moved here.

“Really? I didn’t notice.” Gabriel spoke deadpanned before he stretched. Sam took in his body which he wasn’t the skinniest, but he was large either. 

“Y-Yeah. D-Duh, y-yeah.” Sam blushed to roll his eyes. There was a knock on his bedroom door. The door opened to his room which Sam turned to see Castiel. 

“Dinner,” Castiel spoke as Sam nodded, Castiel turned to leave. Sam turned seeing Gabriel no longer in the window.

“...Coming.” Sam got up from his window seat and headed down to dinner. 

_____________________________________________________________________________

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Castiel walked back towards the kitchen for his stash of liquor, his body already hurting without a shot. Castiel’s body ached just for a taste. He assumed everyone had gone to bed, especially since the house seemed quiet. Castiel paused seeing the kitchen light on, He stopped looking so eager as he came in. He saw Dean putting away some moving boxes for the kitchen. Dean glanced up seeing him. They were quiet for a long time before Dean spoke. 

“...Your liquor is above the fridge.” Dean commented going back to what he was doing. “In the small cabinets.” Castiel looked away in shame before he moved to the fridge. Dean didn’t have to watch him poured himself a medium drink of vodka. 

“...I just...I just need a bit.” Castiel tried to excuse himself but Dean didn’t comment going back to pull out some more Tupperware. “...Did you want some?”

“No, I’m still recovering from that night we drank together.” Dean breathed still traumatized from that night almost three weeks ago. Castiel chuckled at that. 

“You got fucked up,” Castiel commented. 

“I barely remember anything from that night.” Dean snorted as Castiel chuckled. “...Don’t worry, I remember confirming your bisexuality.” Castiel blushed beaming at that. “...I also remember your attempts at round two.” 

“Can you blame me?” Castiel spoke as Dean blushed at that before Dean cleared his throat taken back by the comment. Castiel took a sip of his vodka moving to sit next to Dean, he was really cute when complimented. 

“We should talk about, rent and such.” Dean cleared his throat in an attempt to get the blush away. 

“You don’t need to pay rent,” Castiel commented finishing his drink waving him off.

“Yes, I do.” Dean laughed. 

“I paid for the house with my savings. There is no need to pay rent.” Castiel poured himself another medium amount of Vodka. 

“I want to help out, I would feel like I would be taking advantage-” Dean tried taken back.

“You help me a lot, help teach my kids even when they aren’t in your classroom. You just helped my kids read ‘Green Eggs and Ham.’ For like an hour or two.” Castiel scoffed waving him off. “If the groceries are low, you can help keep us stocked. Otherwise, I don’t need you to pay for anything.”

“I don’t want you to use your savings-” Dean choked out. 

“I have plenty from when I was an Ice skater might as well use it on something other than booze,” Castiel admitted. “I got more than enough to be okay for my life and my childrens’ lives with plenty to spare. I saved a lot of my money back in the day.”

“...Do you miss Ice skating?” Dean asked as Castiel shrugged.

“I try not to think about it.” Castiel sighed sadly. “I started Ice skating since I was two years old, competing when I was five. It was my life. It was my everything. Now I can’t.”

“...Have you tried, since the accident?” Dean asked, Castiel glanced at him. 

“Tried competing?” Castiel questioned.

“No, just...Ice skating.” Dean commented. “Like, something as simple as taking your kids to the ice ring or the down to the lake.” 

“N...No. I haven’t skated since my accident.” Castiel mumbled.

“You should try,” Dean started innocently. “Maybe then you won’t feel so empty-” 

“And what? Be disappointed?” Castiel scoffed sadly. “...No thanks.” 

“...You know, I told you I used to be a big fan of you.” Dean commented. “I used to watch the Olympics with my dad. I hated all the other sports so I only watched Ice skating but I loved watching you.” Dean admitted blushing. “But...I have to admit a secret.” 

“What?” Castiel smiled as Dean blushed harder. 

“I..._ actually _ never been Ice skating,” Dean admitted as Castiel blinked taken back.

“It snows here.” Castiel scoffed laughing.

“_ I knoooow.” _ Dean whined embarrassed. 

“There are _ literally _ lakes everywhere,” Castiel commented. 

“_ I knoooooow,” _Dean whined again plopping his head onto the table.

“Even my children have gone.” Castiel snorted as Dean just let out a whine.

“So has Sam! I just never had a chance to! I’m too old now. It will be embarrassing to try to learn now!” Dean pouted. 

“...I’ll teach you.” Castiel sighed touching Dean’s head with care. Dean glanced up. “When the lake freezes over. I’ll take you out and teach you.” Dean lit up so happily. 

“REALLY?!” Dean gasped like the fanboy he was as Castiel smiled seeing Dean going on about how it was a dream come true, that Castiel was amazing and he loved Castiel to death. Castiel laughed with care at it. Dean going on with his fanboy ramblings. Castiel couldn’t help but lean in and kiss him. Dean’s words stopped short. 

Dean moaned softly into the kiss, allowing Castiel to press against him, Dean happily holding him close. The innocent kiss went not so innocent the second Dean’s hands moved to untuck Castiel’s shirt pushing it up. Castiel moaned breaking his kiss to yank off his shirt before Castiel pulled Dean to his body picking him up plopping him onto the kitchen table, knocking over his empty glass as their kiss deepened. Dean desperately unbuttoning Castiel’s pants. 

_____________________________________________________________________________

  
  
  
  
  


Dean heard the door opening to his bedroom due to the creaking, Dean moaned at the noise opening his eyes softly to see Abigail and Alexander. Abigail stood in front of him and Alexander held her hand tears in his eyes which he wiped his tears. Dean blinked feeling Castiel turning in sleep. They must have come to wake up Castiel. 

“Cas,” Dean mumbled pushing him as he sat up. Castiel’s snore stopped instantly as he sat up. 

“Hmm?” Castiel mumbled back glancing at him confused when he noticed the twins. Castiel cursed to himself reaching down and grabbing boxers he was pretty sure was Dean’s. He slid them on before getting out of bed. “My loves, what’s wrong?” 

Castiel tossed on a shirt from his drawer before Castiel kneeled to toss Dean some boxers and a shirt, he was pretty sure was his own. Dean slid them on before getting out of bed. 

“..._ I _ peed the bed.” Abigail commented as the adults exchanged looks. It was obvious her lie. Especially since Alexander was wet and his pajamas were soaked. Abigail was dry. Abigail trying to take the heat of the issue to protect her twin. The lie didn’t work since the twins now had their own beds and their own room...but the effort was there. 

“Alright.” Castiel breathed cupping Alexander’s face wiping his tears. Alexander continued to sob holding his sister’s hand and wiping his ugly tears. “Dean, can you start the bath?” 

“You got the bed?” Dean asked as Castiel nodded. Castiel kissed both his twins. 

“It’s okay to pee the bed,” Castiel reassured the twins. “It happens. It’s alright. No one is mad.” 

Alexander continued to cry the words meaningless to a child who was so ashamed of himself. Dean scooped him up, despite the pee holding him close. The child continued to cry, Dean nuzzling him. Dean took Abigail’s hand with caretaking her with him to the master bathroom. Dean sat Abigail on the toilet with the lid down as he helped Alexander get undressed. 

Castiel watched Dean speaking kindly to his children. Calm and reassuring. The children didn’t even notice Dean knew the truth. Dean got Alexander into a warm bath, using some shampoo to make bubbles. It wasn’t long before Alexander was giggling and talking to Abigail and Dean. Castiel watched them with caregiving them a loving smile before going to clean up the pee.

____________________________________________________________________________

  
  
  
  


Castiel was a professional at cleaning up pee beds, with the plastic cover and the extra sheets, it wasn’t long before Castiel returned to the bathroom to see Alexander covering his eyes after Dean had gotten him out of the tub seconds ago and was just drying him.

“Here I brought clothes!” Castiel commented holding new pajamas and underwear. “I got your chonies!”

“Chonies?!” Alexander giggled at the word as Castiel held out the underwear which Alexander climbed into. Alexander broke into giggles when Castiel tickled him after getting him dressed. Castiel scooped him up and held out an arm for Abigail. He scooped up Abigail happily. 

“Let’s get you back to bed.” Castiel hummed kissing his twins. “Why don’t you go back to bed, Dean. I got it.” Castiel spoke as Dean nodded watching them leave before the awkwardness fell. 

Did...he go back to Castiel’s bed or his own?

Would Castiel be upset to see Dean back in his bed if he stayed? 

Would he be overstaying his welcome?

Did Castiel expect him to just head to his own room now that the sex was over?

Or...did Castiel want him to go to bed in….his bed?

The children already have caught them in bed, maybe he wouldn’t mind if Dean stayed.

But...what if he didn’t want to advertise their casual thing?

Dean’s thoughts were overshadowed when Castiel returned, Dean jumped lost in thought as Castiel came in casually but noticed Dean’s worry.

“You okay?” Castiel asked curiously. 

“Y-Yeah.” Dean lied as Castiel eyed him before shrugging. 

“Thanks for everything. I appreciate it.” Castiel stated moving to climb into bed. Dean took that...as a hint, like the end of a business arrangement. Dean looked down sadly. 

“N-...No problem.” Dean moved towards the door awkwardly when Castiel paused. “I...I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Where are you going?” Castiel asked confused as Dean paused. 

“You...don’t want me to go?” Dean asked as Castiel shook his head no slowly like it was obvious. 

“No, why would I?” Castiel asked taking off his shirt going back to bed. 

“I-...I just didn’t want to overstay my welcome...you’d tell me to go right? If I did.” Dean hesitated. Castiel looked at him, the obvious insecurity of Dean’s. Something Cain must have done a lot after. Dean held himself shyly like he wasn’t handsome and good looking….but instead a burden and unwanted. 

“You couldn’t overstay your welcome if you tried.” Castiel breathed getting up and taking Dean’s hand taking him back to bed like he had done his children. Dean smiled slowly sinking back into the bed before tossing off his own shirt. To reassure him more, Castiel pulled Dean close. Dean smiled and laid against his chest holding him back melting into him. “Sex or not, you are always welcome in my bed. I appreciate you clothed as much as I appreciate you naked. Never think you aren’t welcomed to me.”

“...” Dean didn’t say anything nuzzling into him.

“Besides...I think I’m already spoiled by your presence, because...when you aren’t in my bed...I miss your warmth.” Castiel admitted as Dean held him even tighter. Both softly nuzzling into him till the comfort of each other lulled them both to sleep. 

  
  
  



	5. The boys that made the internet weep

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Mentions of Munchausen by proxy, Child abuse from Munchausen by proxy.

Sam sat in his window seat at his window nose deep in a book, since he just moved schools because the move, he was able to enjoy the free days till the school got everything in order. Sam saw Gabriel every now and again, he normally seemed to get home late. Which at almost midnight, he watched Gabriel’s bedroom light flip on. Sam glanced up seeing Gabriel tossing off his leather jacket tossing it on his desk chair. Gabriel pulled a cigarette from his pocket lighting it up, he kicked off his shoes. Sam pretended not to watch him from the corner of his eye, he watched Gabriel kick off his boots. 

Gabriel looked like he belonged in T-Birds, his hair gelled back perfectly. Gabriel tossed off his shirt onto his laundry chair. Gabriel ran his fingers through his hair, unbuckling his pants. Sam moved his face to focus on his book in case Gabriel was planning to change. Gabriel’s window opened, making Sam turn to look at him. Gabriel blew out cigarette smoke leaning against his windowsill just as Gabriel had before. Sam moved to open his own window seeing Gabriel staring at him.

“...You’re reading a different book.” Gabriel commented as Sam blinked before glancing at his book cover. 

“Yeah. I finished the other one.” Sam stated. Surprised Gabriel noticed Sam had switched books between this morning and now. “It was a good book, so I’m reading another book from the same author. I took a bus just to get it right after I finished the other.” Sam showed Gabriel the cover as Gabriel glanced at it blowing out smoke. Sam could never tell what Gabriel was thinking. His face was emotionless. He was so deadpan about most things you would think he was bored with it all. Gabriel examined the cover of the book ‘They both die at the End’ by Adam Silvera before he glanced up back into his eyes.

“What was is it about?” Gabriel asked, Sam was taken back, surprised Gabriel cared enough to ask.

“It’s about two characters who...both die at the end.” Sam summed it up with a small laugh. Gabriel said nothing, he didn’t laugh at that but nodded his head pursing his lips together accepting the information. Gabriel tapped out the end of his cigarette continuously nodding his head. 

“...I guess you know what you were getting into.” Gabriel stated. 

“No, I absolutely did not.” Sam scoffed laughing. “I was in for a ride from start to finish.” 

“But...you knew the end,” Gabriel asked not getting it.

“It’s the journey, not the destination.” Sam beamed at that looking down at the book in his hand a different book by Adam Silvera. Gabriel nodded again accepting the information.

“...Fair,” Gabriel mumbled as he offered Sam a chance to bum off his cigarette, Sam hesitantly reached out to take it. Sam placed the cigarette to his lips delicately, taking a small suck of the chemicals before releasing it. Sam coughed roughly which Gabriel gave a small smile, Sam offered it back to Gabriel who sucked in the fumes again. “When do you start school? I know I haven’t seen you around yet.” 

“In a couple of days. My brother let me have time to adjust before going to the new school.” Sam confessed. “He’s all about my mental health and my adjustment to the change. He’s pretty cool like that.”

“Wish I had a guardian like that.” Gabriel blew out smoke. “My dad would whip me for missing school for my _ ‘mental health’ _ .” Gabriel raised his eyebrows at that comment, smashing his cigarette into the sunflower ashtray on his outside window ledge. Gabriel blew out the remaining smoke which Sam watched it fade into the breath of warm air against the cold. “My father would have called it _ ‘Sissy’ _ behavior.” Gabriel clicked his tongue unamused. 

“I’m sorry,” Sam stated seriously, happy for the blessings he had with Dean.

“What can you do.” Gabriel shrugged. “We all got parents who fuck us up.” 

“...Yeah.” Sam glanced down his fingers holding his wrist scratching at some old scars on his wrist. Gabriel noticed but didn’t say anything. 

“You know what’s funny though.” Gabriel changed the subject as Sam glanced up at him. “If I told him I wanted to buy a hooker and fuck her brains out, he would let me skip school for as long as I wanted.”

“Ew.” Sam chuckled as Gabriel beamed at that. 

“Luckily, I like my dick STD free, otherwise you’d never sleep.” Gabriel hummed chuckling. “I’d have a conga line of hot supermodels coming in and out of the revolving door.” Sam chuckled at that, covering his mouth to stop him from laughing too hard not to wake up the whole house. Gabriel lit up about it, trying not to laugh as hard as Sam was doing but there were a couple of snorts that escaped his lips.

“Thank you for your noble sacrifice.” Sam teased back, Gabriel snorted at that. 

“You’re welcome.” Gabriel looked away with a couple of snorts. The laughter died down, Gabriel was quiet for a long time before Sam spoke. 

“...Here.” Sam grabbed the book off the chair next to him offering the previous book he read to Gabriel. “Read it.” Gabriel took it softly from Sam’s hand, their fingers touching softly in the exchange, Gabriel was the first to pull his fingers away. Opening the book as sliding his fingers over the first page. Sam expected him to refuse or hold onto the book to humor him but Gabriel...started reading. Right then and there. Sam watched his eyes move over the words following his finger before Sam pulled his eyes away to look at his own book.

They sat in silence as they read in their company before a knock on his bedroom door made Sam glance up. Dean opened the door softly rubbing his face half asleep, holding Alexander in his arms. Alexander a mess of tears from once again peeing the bed, Dean comforting the tired toddler. 

“Hey, what are you still doing up?” Dean asked as Sam looked at him. 

“Just finishing the chapter.” Sam covered, glad Dean was not in a position to notice Gabriel leaning out of his window. 

“Alright, finish the chapter, then bed. You have to go pick out your classes tomorrow at nine am.” Dean mumbled yawning. 

“What about you? Heading to bed after him?” Sam asked as Dean nodded. 

“Yep, just waiting for Castiel to finish making the bed.” Dean breathed tiredly taking a sip of whatever coffee he made to keep awake to help Alexander. “...Make sure to go to bed after this chapter.” 

“I will..._ try. _” Sam hesitated as Dean snorted. “Sometimes the book is just so good you can’t…You know.” Sam sighed with love towards his books. 

“..._ nerd, _” Dean commented closing the door, Sam chuckled at him rolling his eyes.

“...Your brothers kinda cool.” Gabriel commented not looking up from the book. 

“..._ Kinda _is the keyword.” Sam teased, Gabriel chuckled closing the book holding it to his chest. They went quiet as they looked away from each other.

“You should try to get some cool classes,” Gabriel stated. “Since you get to pick them.”

“What do _ you _recommend?” Sam asked...if Sam didn’t know better...it sounded a bit flirtatious. Maybe he was flirting a bit...but maaaaaybe he wasn’t. Gabriel said nothing grabbing a piece of paper from his desk next to him writing down a list of classes before ripping it out of his notebook offering it to Sam. Sam took it smiling down at the note. “Thanks.”

“No problem,” Gabriel started with a smirk sitting up he pulled away from his window grabbing the window to reclose it. “Should let you get back to it before it’s past_ your _bedtime.” 

“Har har.” Sam rolled his eyes as Gabriel smirked. “Night.” 

“Later,” Gabriel commented closing his window, Sam grabbed his own window reclosing it. Sam went back to his book...but he couldn’t help watching Gabriel wandering around his room. Gabriel popping some candy into his mouth which Sam noticed he did after he smoked. 

Gabriel always did this after smoking, Sam watched Gabriel grab some clothes from his drawers before heading to the bathroom. Sam tried not to seem like he was disappointed in Gabriel always changing out of view and in the bathroom. He admitted he definitely likes seeing his body, especially since Gabriel barely kept a shirt on and his pants buttoned at home. He always seemed to slip off his shirt and unbutton his pants the second he came through the door. 

Sam could make out the slight V lines on his lower body and the light show of pubic hair sliding up from under his underwear, though Gabriel wouldn’t be described as skinny or athletic. He would more or less in that middle you could only describe as very average or slightly overweight. Though he had some weight to him, Sam could still see his V lines, almost lost to Gabriel’s body. 

Sam sighed closing his book as he got up from the window seat, turning to turn off the lights along his window for reading. Sam stood tossing off his shirt, his body only easily described as an insecure moose. He was tall, extremely thin and lengthy. His body in that awkward stage where his arms and legs just looked too long and the rest of his body forgot to keep up. Sam liked to say if Slenderman fucked a moose, Sam would be what came of it. 

Sam gave himself a glance in the mirror before he climbed into his bed. Happy for the softest expressive comforter that Castiel had surprised him and Dean with for their help with the twins. Sam was grateful for the new sheets since he was pretty worn. Though Dean would have bought him anything he needed, Sam hated to ask for things. He knew how much Dean has done for him, and asking for anymore he felt placed a burden on Dean’s shoulders. He never asked for anything, which made Dean learn to snoop to get information on what Sam required.

When he was little, Dean used to come into his room at night and inspect his items. Dean would, for example, check his shoes for holes, making sure they still supported him and worked. Especially since Sam’s shoe fell apart once during a storm and Sam had to stand in a wet sock in the rain till Dean picked him up. Luckily it happened after school or everyone would claim Dean was an unfit guardian to not notice the shoes Sam kept together with super glue and duck tape. 

It was hard to explain to someone who doesn’t get it, but...when you have nothing and see someone you love to struggle for you in order to make your life better. It just...becomes second nature to try to not ask for anything. Every year Sam would tell Dean he wanted nothing for Christmas, his birthday and any other holiday you could think of. However, Sam always got a pile of gifts...and that made him feel even more of a burden. 

The idea of Dean, a boy trying his hardest to have and afford a better life having to work extra hours, work odd hours or skip meals just to make sure your fed and cared for...it makes you want to be less. 

Sam himself found himself skipping meals or going without on things he needed, to keep from being a strain on Dean. Though Dean never would say any of this and knew Dean took great pride in raising and caring for his baby brother. Dean always raised him up on his accomplishments, was his cheerleader to keep trying when he failed and was the overall best big brother of the year. Dean never judged and was always understanding which Sam appreciated. 

Especially when he was younger and peed the bed. Dean had gotten him help for that too. Worked through him with it. The therapy helped. Sam who peed the bed till he was almost eleven, finally could sleep without worrying about it. 

...Sam still had his issues though, despite getting over one ordeal. 

Sam blinked tiredly moving to close his eyes to sleep, pulling the blankets over him and burying himself into his pillow.

_____________________________________________________________________

  
****

  
  
  
  


  
  


**Many years ago**

Sam glanced up at his mother who looked down at the two-year-old, Mary smiling down at her son. Sam chewed on his fingers smiling up at her, his little nose scrunched up when he smiled big. Mary touched his face, caressing his face with care. She took in the features of her and her former husband. The little big brown eyes glancing up at her with trust and care. Mary moved away from him, kneeling to the sink. She gave him a glance, watching Sam who still was unable to walk without looking like a drunk.

“Dean,” Mary called as silence in the air before Dean who was ten walked in bouncing the ball. Dean noticed Sam who beamed up at him when he really Dean had entered. Dean ruffled his hair before he kneeled down next to him. Dean watched his mother digging in the cabinet under the sink. Dean covered his face playing peek a boo. Mary moving to the cookies she had finished baking only moments ago. The house smelled of sugar cookies cooling on the counter. Mary sprinkled the white sugar on top of the cookies smiling at her adorable sons. Sam giggled happily playing with his brother which Dean smiled before their happiness when Dean’s mother turned around offering in her outstretched hand of two sugar cookies with white sugar sprinkled on top. “Here my loves, eat up.” 

Sam took the cookie happily, the baby squealed taking a bite of the cookie before Sam made a disgusted face. Dean paused noticing Sam’s confusion, Dean tensed as he glanced down at the cookie in realization something was wrong. Dean brought the cookie up sniffing the cookie and winced. The...white powder..._ wasn’t _ sugar.

Dean threw his cookie to the ground trying to snatch the cookie from Sam.

“Sammy! Don’t eat that-!” Dean yelped when his mother grabbed him by his throat angrily, gripping it so tightly he couldn’t breathe. Dean held his throat as his mother grabbed another ‘sugar’ powdered cookie from her tray. Forcing the cookie against Dean’s mouth, Dean whimpered and sobbed tears in his eyes. 

“You better _ fucking _ eat it!” Mary hissed. “Or I'll feed _ yours _to Sam too!” 

Dean was shaking and sobbing as his mouth was pried open by her nails. The cookie was forced deep into Dean’s throat, Dean gagged and almost vomited, but the need for air beat those urges. Dean swallowed as soon as his mother’s fingers were removed from his mouth. She clamped her hands on the top of his head and the bottom of his jaw forcing him to swallow either way. Once he had swallowed, Dean crumpled to the floor sobbing as Mary angrily threw the tray of cookies at him on the floor. Dean flinched till Mary stormed off and slammed the door to her room. 

Dean moved quickly from the floor, ignoring the pain in his throat, grabbing the cookie from Sam’s hand crushing it under his foot. Dean cleaned Sam’s face and hands in a frantic panic, ignoring his urge to vomit. Dean moved to check under the sink. He picked up the chemical bleaching powder normally used for toilets opened below. Dean shook looking at Sam in fear before he ran to his room. Dean went through his closet sheets for the hidden bottle of ipecac he had stolen from a drug store. Dean bolted back to Sam with shaky hands, he grabbed a spoon from the kitchen sink.

“Here Sam, open.” Dean choked as Sam opened happily for his brother. Dean slid the medicine into Sam’s mouth who made a face at the disgusting taste. Sam started to cry as Dean turned away. Dean moved to the sink sticking his fingers down his throat, trying to force himself to vomit the bleach powder. He couldn’t take the ipecac too. Sam needed someone to care for him when he started to get sick.

It wasn’t long for Sam to start vomiting, the baby crying and sobbing at his body’s uncontrollable urge to vomit. Dean held him on the floor of the bathroom, the door locked as he rocked the baby. Holding a bucket in his arms as Sam vomited violently. 

“I’m sorry, Sammy.” Dean sobbed, he was pale himself. Sickly, sweat dripped down his forehead. Sam only had a bite, but Dean had to make sure Sam got rid of all he could. He had to make sure there was nothing left. Hours of Sam sobbing and crying till Sam eventually stopped, so tired. Falling asleep from the exhausting hours, Dean shook holding him. His body so sick just cradling the sleeping toddler, holding him in peace until he heard the lock of the bathroom click unlocked. 

Dean watched the door swing open, His mother smiling at him with an almost believable love. She kneeled to him with a big smile, dressed almost as though she would be considered the perfect little housewife. Dean watched his mother eye the sleeping toddler who showed no signs of the poisoning which she ignored him quickly to look at Dean. Dean’s pale, sweaty skin felt his mother’s icy cold hands against his forehead which Dean closed his eyes to. 

“Sweetie. You have a fever.” Mary stated with giddiness. Dean holding Sam tighter as he violently shook as if he was cold. “...Come on, baby. Let’s get you to the hospital.” Dean couldn’t fight her as Sam was taken from him. Sam sleeping peacefully in her arms, before She offered Dean her hand. Dean hesitantly took it. Allowing her to take them away.

“HELP! PLEASE!” Mary called sobbing as she yanked Dean into the emergency room, heads turned to her as Mary put on her greatest act. A concerned mother, Dean could barely stand anymore. Mary holding him to her side by his head was the only thing keeping him standing. “MY BABIES NEED HELP!” 

“Ma’am? What’s wrong?” A nurse ran overseeing how sickly Dean looked.

“M-My son and I were making cookies.” Mary sobbed. “I-I left him and my baby alone for a second. D-Dean was just trying to help. H-He thought-.” She sobbed loudly. “-He wanted to put powdered sugar on them, b-but he used powder bleach instead! I-I didn’t notice till they had eaten them! I-I only looked away for a second!” Dean’s eyes rolled into the back of his head as his small thin body fell to the floor. Mary screamed in loud dramatic fear, as Dean seize violently on the floor. 

Nurses and a doctor ran to the Dean who started foaming from the mouth, Dean was so tiny a doctor quickly scooped the lifeless boy from the floor taking him into the emergency area for immediate care. Another nurse took Sam from her as the tired and exhausted toddler into the room for treatment as a couple other mothers from the room moved to comfort Mary. Mary dramatically fell to her knees crying into their arms. The whole room focused on the young mother, most trying to comfort her with hugs and reassuring words, others giving sad glances to her, and all feeling so bad for her...

...and she couldn’t be happier. 

___________________________________________________________________________

  
  
  
  
  
  


**Now**

  
  
  
  
  


Dean sucked in the air shooting up panting, running fingers through his wet hair. Covered in sweat, even his bed was soaked. Dean covered his face with his hands when a hand touched his shoulder making him jump.

“Hey…” Castiel breathed in worry as Dean took a second to realize he was here. Castiel was here. Dean blinked, glancing around the room seeing his door opened. Sam stood in the doorway along with the twins who held his legs looking worried at Dean. 

“W-What’s going on?” Dean breathed as Castiel sat next to him softly petting his hair. 

“You were screaming and crying in your sleep,” Castiel stated as Dean blinked trying to take that in. “Are you okay?”

“I-I haven’t done that since I was a kid,” Dean stated tears in his eyes that threatened to fall, Sam took a tired breath seeing Dean needed a moment. 

“Come on, you too. Back to bed. Shows over.” Sam started picking up both kids and walked them back to their rooms. 

“Is Mr. Dean okay?” Abigail asked as Sam reassured her walking away.

“...Did you want to talk about it?” Castiel offered as Dean covered his face shaking his head no. “...Is it about Cain?” Dean shook his head no. “...Is it about your mom?”

“Castiel, drop it ...please,” Dean whined sobbing covering his hands with his face. 

“Dean…” Castiel whispered moving to hold him in his arms as Dean sobbed and cried. It has been so long since he even thought of her. It must...have been close to his birthday. That’s when memories of her resurface like every year. Castiel rocked him in his arms, Dean cried loud sobs into Castiel’s chest. Castiel held him and kissed his tears away when Dean calmed down and cried himself out. Castiel nuzzled into him tucking Dean back to bed, he laid down next to him. Just holding Dean so tightly. Dean never felt so protected and cared for. Dean slowly fell back to sleep in the comfort of him...and Dean didn’t dream of her again.

  
  


_____________________________________________________________________________

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Dean walked around the house in his normal business casual outfit for work, the kids grabbing the last of the stuff they needed and said goodbye to their father. Sam was finishing his breakfast before he made his way to the high school to register for his classes. 

“Be good.” Dean kissed the top of Sam’s head before he walked past Castiel to leave. Sam was half surprised when Dean leaned in kissing Castiel’s forehead with a sweet smile. Castiel blushed smiling before Dean took the twins to school. Sam was drinking orange juice as Castiel stared at him. It took Castiel a moment before trying to speak but Sam shut him down.

“If Dean won’t tell you about our mother, then I won’t either,” Sam commented casually as Castiel shut up. Sam glanced up at him giving him a look. 

“I just want to help him.” Castiel breathed with worry. “I-I never saw him like that.”

“He always gets this way around his birthday,” Sam commented with a sigh. “Always about three days before.” 

“That’s...horrible,” Castiel admitted as Sam glanced at him. “...I know he’s all about therapy and stuff but...has he ever tried for himself?” 

“He represses it,” Sam commented. “That’s his way of doing things. You pick up a bottle and he pretends his past never happened.” Castiel didn’t comment glancing at his own clear drink that wasn’t water before he set it down awkwardly. Castiel held himself as Sam got up moving to grab his backpack for the bus trip to the high school. “I won’t ask you for a ride for obvious reasons.” 

Sam moved to leave when Castiel’s voice made him pause.

“...Please, Sam...I just want to help him.” Castiel’s voice sounded so far away, so weak that Sam turned. 

“I’d be breaking Dean’s wishes if I told you anything,” Sam commented before he paused again, Castiel sighed turning away disappointed. “...Mary Winchester.” 

“What?” Castiel over at him.

“...Her name was Mary Winchester.” Sam sighed thinking he already said too much before he left. Leaving Castiel with those last haunting words.

_______________________________________________________________________

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Google Search:** Mary Winchester

  
  


Castiel typed into google with hesitation, wondering if a name was enough to figure out what was going on. How to better help Dean. He clicked the enter button watching the page load. Castiel’s eyes fell onto the news articles that popped up immediately at her name. The newest articles on top so he had to read from the bottom up.

  * **Opinion: Where are the Winchester boys now? Hopefully happy.  
**  
  

  * **Opinion: Eleven years later, I'm still haunted by the plea from the oldest Winchester begging to let his brother live.  
  
******
  * **The child attempted murderer Mary Winchester gets life in a mental hospital. No chance of release.   
  
**
  * **The boys that made the internet weep, the story of the Winchester boys.  
  
**
  * **“My brother is five years old and deserves to live to see the first grade.” The reason I wept for the Winchester brothers.  
  
**
  * **The Story of Mary Winchester, the woman who fooled the nation.  
  
**
  * **“If you don’t lock her away, the next time you see us, we will be in body bags.”   
  
**
  * **The heartfelt plea to lock their mother away, the boy who made a nation cry.  
  
**
  * **Opinion: Could Mary Winchester just be a bad mom and faking mental illness to avoid jail? I think so, why you should too.  
  
**
  * **A mother of two claims Munchausen syndrome by proxy, will that be enough to avoid jail?**  
  
  

  * **Eleven different hospitals and no one put the signs of abuse together.  
  
**
  * **Mary Winchester pleads not guilty due to mental defect.**  
  
  

  * **Opinion: The victims tried to tell the hospital staff, but no one listened. Why we need to take claims of abuse seriously, no matter their ages.  
  
**
  * **Mother of two charged with the attempted murder of her two sons.**

  
  


Castiel didn’t have to read more…

Castiel got up walking over to his glass of liquor. He stared at the liquid in the glass before he poured it down the sink. Watching the vodka sliding down the drain, Castiel stared at it for a long time before he took a seat on the couch holding his head. 

And just like the world did...Castiel wept for the poor Winchester boys.

  
  
  



	6. I want to get well

Dean moaned as he rode Castiel, his arms wrapped around Castiel’s neck rolling his hips against Castiel’s hard thrusts. The room was silent except for the slight squeaking of the bed and the panting between all adults. Castiel watched Dean reacting to him, Dean’s pleasure was so beautiful on his face. Dean let out a loud gasp as he started to get close. Dean pulled back to look Castiel in the eye as he got close. Castiel grabbed Dean’s hips holding him as he started to thrust harder. Dean swallowed his moan as Castiel rammed into him.

“You going to cum?” Castiel whispered with his deep voice. The words making Dean shiver.

“Mmhm.” Dean whimpered nodding his head Dean biting his lip as Castiel hit every spot that would make him scream if there weren’t other people in his house. 

“Do you want me to let you cum?” Castiel moaned. Dean bit his lip harder nodding quickly as he was about to cum. Castiel rocked into him with deep hard thrusts till Dean squeezed his eyes shut, throwing his head back cumming. Castiel pulled Dean down on his cock as Castiel shuddered at his orgasm. Their cocks softening after their orgasm as Castiel pressed kisses to Dean’s sweaty chest. Dean held Castiel’s body close as they calmed after the high of their orgasm. 

“F...fuck.” Dean panted as he slowly climbed off Castiel’s lap, cum spilling down his body as he did. Castiel turned to kiss him, lately...Castiel hasn’t been able to stop giving him affection. Dean kissed back with care before he broke the kiss lightly pushing Castiel back. “Cas, I am nowhere near round two.” 

“I just want to kiss you,” Castiel admitted moving to kiss Dean’s neck.

“Damn, was I that good in bed?” Dean laughed as Castiel beamed. “You keep marking me up like this, I am going to have to call out sick to work.”

“Sorry.” Castiel pulled back to look at Dean who climbed out of bed to clean the cum from his body. Dean offered him a tissue that Castiel thanked him for. They cleaned off their bodies before Castiel opened his arms for Dean. Dean gave him a soft smile as he returned to lay in his arms. 

Dean closed his eyes listening to Castiel’s heartbeat, Castiel petting Dean’s sweaty hair. Dean waited to hear Castiel grab his flask from the side table, which Castiel did normally when Dean was dozing. However, he was surprised when Castiel’s calmed breath met him instead. Dean opened his eyes slightly glancing up to see Castiel was in the beginnings of sleep, Dean blinked up at him just as tired. Castiel’s body instinctively held him closer as Dean slowly relaxed into him till they both drifted to sleep.

______________________________________________________________________

  
  
  


Castiel itched his palm feeling terrible, he admittedly was feeling like shit. Like he had a bad cold. Dean was worried but Castiel kept telling him he was fine. Castiel was having a hard time sleeping without wearing himself out with sex, a hard time eating without throwing up. Castiel was so pale and his eyes had dark circles that only seemed to get darker. 

Castiel vomited roughly into the toilet. 

This was only two days without liquor. 

Two fucking days. 

How was he going to survive this? 

Castiel felt a soft cloth being placed on the back of his neck, Castiel pulled his head back to see Dean sitting behind him rubbing soft circles on his back. Castiel let out a whimper before he laid his head on his toilet seat just feeling terrible. Dean didn’t say anything to him but softly touched his back.

“...I’m fine,” Castiel commented sickly. 

“I didn’t say anything.” Dean shrugged as Castiel gave him a look but just continued to lay near the toilet. 

“Don’t you have work?” Castiel asked as Dean shrugged. 

“Yeah. I called out last night after you started vomiting last night.” Dean rubbed his back. 

“What about the-” Castiel commented feeling guilty. 

“I dropped the kids off at school while you were sleeping off your hours of vomiting,” Dean stated. “You have been asleep for a bit, It’s already been two hours since the kids left.”

“I just...don’t feel good.” Castiel pouted looking like a lost puppy. Dean chuckled at the reaction from Castiel that he has seen in the twins. Castiel pouted some more before he felt well enough to move towards Dean. Dean felt Castiel lay his head on Dean’s legs as he weakly laid on the bathroom floor. Dean starting to pet his hair, with soft caring touches. Castiel closed his eyes and tried to sleep his sick away. 

______________________________________________________________________________

  
  
  


Castiel was so sick. So Sick. Castiel wanted a drink so bad, but he couldn’t bring himself to get up to get one. He felt like he had a fever, Dean reassured him he didn’t. But Castiel would constantly pull on the covers or turn on the fan. Dean took good care of him in and out of Castiel’s on again and off again sleep. He felt restless. He felt like he was slowly dying. Vomiting into the trash can by his bed every time he rotated in his bed. He was so sick and tired, he didn’t find relief till he passed out for the last time.

___________________________________________________________________________

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Castiel’s eyes opened slowly, he wasn’t in pain. He felt sluggish and gross. However, his body wasn’t betraying him anymore. Castiel’s eyes slid around the white room, till they fell onto Dean who sat next to him reading a book. 

“Dean?” Castiel asked as Dean glanced up. Putting the book to the side he scooted his chair closer to him. Dean took his hand with care.

“How are you feeling?” Dean asked.

“A lot better,” Castiel admitted with a breath as Dean smiled at him kissing his hand. “What happened?”

“You stopped being able to keep food and water down. When you wouldn’t stop throwing up, I got worried and brought you to the hospital.” Dean started kissing his hand. “They said you would have been in trouble if I hadn’t.” 

“Thanks for saving me.” Castiel breathed as Dean smiled.

“Any time,” Dean stated. 

“How long was I out?” Castiel stated.

“Three days.” Dean breathed as Castiel nodded. “Sam’s been watching the kids since he hasn’t had to start school yet.”

“You’ve been by my side this whole time?” Castiel whispered as Dean shrugged. 

“Figured you needed emotional support while you quit drinking.” Dean crossed his legs sitting back, Castiel paused surprised Dean knew. He didn’t want anyone to know...incase he didn’t succeed. 

“H...How did you-?” Castiel asked taken back as Dean shrugged. 

“You didn’t taste like vodka,” Dean commented with a blush. “When...we had sex, you always taste like you had a glass or two. The last couple times...you didn’t even have a hint on you. That’s when I noticed you started getting sick...so I tested my theory. I marked the liquid with a line and I checked back a couple of days later. You haven’t taken a sip.” 

“You found me out.” Castiel smiled tiredly as Dean eyed him with a soft smile. 

“...Can I ask what made you change your mind?” Dean asked curiously as Castiel sighed. 

“...My children can’t have two fucked up parents.” Castiel stated softly almost ashamed. “Someone has to step up. I won’t let my children suffer because of me anymore.” Dean took his hand squeezing it. 

“They don’t suffer because of you, they love you and know you’re sick,” Dean reassured. “Alcoholism is a mental illness-”

“Well, I’m tired of being sick,” Castiel whispered squeezing his hand. “They deserve better...but so do you and Sam.”

“Cas?” Dean asked taken back. 

“I want to be better...not only for my kids.” Castiel reached up touching his face. “...I want to be better for you more than anything.” Dean blushed taken back. 

“Cas...W-What are you saying?” Dean choked out his face going so red Castiel mistook him for a strawberry. 

“I am not saying anything yet.” Castiel blushed himself looking away. “Not till I can be a man you deserve? I just...I’m not till I have some sober cred...but once I’m sober for a full month to get a token...I want to take you out on a date.” 

“Does this mean you’ll go to AA to achieve that token?” Dean asked as Castiel nodded. 

“Yeah...If you don’t mind-” Castiel asked. 

“I already have a list near our house of places you can go for meetings,” Dean stated as Castiel nodded. “We can try out a couple and see which ones you like enough to keep going to-”

“Thanks for everything,” Castiel whispered, Dean smiled softly. Castiel blinked tiredly at him.

“Why don’t you rest a bit more.” Dean softly, Castiel hesitated but turned to sleep. Castiel felt a soft touch to his head before he allowed himself to sleep. 

______________________________________________________________________________

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


“Daddy!” A voice called which Castiel stirred hearing Alexander being shushed with care. Castiel opened his eyes seeing Alexander sitting on Dean’s lap, Dean wiping some food off his face as the twins ate some food Dean must have cooked for them. 

Alexander was moving and wiggling on Dean’s lap as Dean fed him. Alexander talking about something he saw on tv and couldn’t sit still to save his life. Dean was talking and speaking to Alexander like he actually knew what the child was rambling about. 

Abigail, on the other hand, was holding her Tupperware of food, spinning and humming to herself as she chomped on her food loudly. Sam sat beside her on the chair, leaning down every so often to pick up some homemade ravioli Abigail was tossing all about in her messy eating and tossing it away in the trash.

Abigail was the first to notice Castiel being up. She gasped and moved to climb onto the bed. Knocking some of her food onto the white sheets which the pasta stained the sheets. Sam moved to stop her from crawling on the bed but she had already plopped onto Castiel spilling what remained in her Tupperware. 

“Abi.” Sam sighed.

“What?” Abigail asked honestly confused as Castiel chuckled scooping up the pasta and eating it himself. “Daddy!” Abigail giggled at him. Sam tossing the rest on the bed away as Castiel moaned. 

“Dean, did you make this?” Castiel asked pulling his daughter towards him hugging her close. He sat up chomping like his children as he ate.

“Yeah,” Dean commented as he offered Castiel a Tupperware of ravioli. Abigail moved to take one out of Castiel’s Tupperware. 

“You have your own.” Castiel playfully teased her. 

“But I’m still hungry,” Abigail stated but Castiel offered his to share.

“That’s because the trash ate ninety percent of it,” Sam commented laughing. 

“We can just grab something on the way home.” Dean offered. Castiel shared bites of food with Abigail. Abigail sometimes stole one off the fork which made Castiel laughed. Dean was watching him, he never saw Castiel this carefree and happy. Abigail listening to her father talking happily about how much he missed her. 

Dean knew...this was the result he was going to get if he kept going. But...this temporary high was because of all the best pain relievers and drug aids helping him. He was going to have to work for this. This was going to be the hardest fight he ever had to fight. 

Abigail squealed when Castiel took back his pasta from her, playfully chewing it from her hands. Dean snapped out of his thoughts when he realized Castiel was speaking to him.

“I’m sorry, what?” Dean asked.

“I asked when I can go home,” Castiel spoke holding his daughter close. 

“Oh, the doctors want to keep you for one more night, then I will pick up you and your medication tomorrow,” Dean commented as Castiel ushered to his son to join him on the bed once Alexander was done with his last bite. 

“Daddy, I missed you more than Abi,” Alexander spoke climbing onto the bed, Castiel made room for him. 

“No, you did not!” Abigail pouted crossing her arms. Castiel pulled them both into loving kisses holding them in his arms.

“I miss you two, rugrats,” Castiel whispered. “Are you being good for Dean?”

“No,” Alexander spoke sitting up as Abigail shushed him. 

“No?” Castiel laughed as Abigail pouted.

“No, we are! We just got grounded.” Abigail commented. 

“Grounded?” Castiel asked. 

“They may or may not have flooded the kitchen with the kitchen sink.” Sam snorted. “To make an ocean for their boat.” 

“It didn’t float,” Alexander commented. “It just sunk.”

“And all it accomplished was flooding the tile.” Dean sighed. “And tell daddy what happened after it flooded?” 

“I, um, fell,” Alexander commented. “I knocked out a baby tooth, see!” Alexander opened his mouth showing one of his bottom teeth was now gone.

“Oh my god.” Castiel gasped looking at the tooth.

“It was a baby one and it was loose anyways,” Dean reassured. 

“Remember daddy? I showed you.” Alexander spoke. Castiel...didn’t remember that. He looked at Dean, Dean’s face read it all. Castiel was drunk when Alexander did.

“I-...I remember.” Castiel lied reassuring him. “Daddy just forgot.”

“You forgot a lot,” Alexander said innocently, Castiel’s heart hurt at those words.

“Daddy won’t forget again,” Castiel reassured kissing his forehead before Dean stood.

“Come on guys, We gotta get home,” Dean spoke as the kids moved to hug their daddy. “It’s almost bedtime.” 

“Daddy, no!” Abigail whined as Castiel kissed her forehead. 

“I’ll see you tomorrow when you get home from school,” Castiel reassured. 

“Bye, daddy.” The twins called before they climbed off the bed. Sam picked up Abigail as Dean ushered them along. “Sam started heading to the car, I’ll be there in a minute, I need to talk to Castiel about something.” Sam nodded taking Alexander’s hand walking them out. Castiel seemed confused.

“What is it-?” Castiel started but Dean moved to him pressing him into a hard kiss. Castiel kissed him back with a moan. Castiel panting and desperate for his touch. When Dean pulled away Castiel groaned loudly. 

“Tomorrow,” Dean whispered. “I want you to fuck me with everything you got.” Dean pressed a couple more desperate kisses to Castiel’s lip. 

“Fuck what you do to me.” Castiel panted back as Dean smiled humming to him. 

“I got to go get the kids home,” Dean whispered kissing him. “...I’ll _ try _not to touch myself in excitement for tomorrow.” 

“Holy shit.” Castiel moaned his cock slightly hard to those words alone. “Fuck. You never talked this dirty before.”

“Just the new you is such a fucking turn on.” Dean bit at Castiel’s lips. “Gives me goosebumps just thinking about it.” Castiel moaned softly at his words, his heart skipped a beat at those words. Dean pulled back smiling before he gave him a soft kiss. 

“Goodnight,” Dean whispered before pulling back innocently walking away. 

“D-Dean, don’t. Y-You can’t just do this to me-” Castiel left his cock slightly hard as Dean blew him a kiss walking away. Leaving Castiel to handle that on his own. 

  
  


_______________________________________________________________________

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


“Sam, time for school,” Dean called into Sam’s room. Sam groaned opening his eyes, pouting in need sitting up. He was surprised to see Gabriel sitting smoking at his window. Lazily leaning on his window ceil, he laid his hand on one of his arms watching youtube. He seemed to half-dressed and fresh out of a shower. Sam moved to his window pushing his window open which Gabriel glanced up. 

“What’s up, Samantha?” Gabriel teases blowing out smoke. Sam lazily leaned against his open window.

“I start today,” Sam spoke.

“Is that why you’re up?” Gabriel asked offering the smoke to Sam who took it. Sam placed it to his lips, still not a smoker but he this time took the cigarette better. Sam blew it out of his mouth before he offered it back to Gabriel who placed it to his lips. “You normally aren’t up this early.”

“And you know how?” Sam teased him. “So what then? You a peeping tom?” Gabriel snorted at that, his word used against him. 

“Do you need a ride to school?” Gabriel asked as Sam paused at that before nodding. “I could show you around before class starts.”

“Sure.” Sam smiled slightly blushing. 

“SAM! We need to go!” Dean called. Sam blushed with embarrassment moving to the door. 

“I-I’m going to get there myself!” Sam opened the door yelling.

“Are you sure?! We are heading out!” Dean yelled from the stairs. 

“Yeah, I’m sure!” Sam called back before Dean said goodbye. Sam listened to Dean and the twins leaving. Sam returned to the room, jumping when Gabriel now laid on his bed. Gabriel was dressed with his backpack on the floor, lazily looking up at the ceiling. “Jesus.” 

“You ready yet?” Gabriel asked as Sam shook his head no moving to his closet. Gabriel’s eyes slid over Sam who started to strip down. Sam was lengthy and thin, he was still in his awkward body stage which Gabriel could tell Sam would grow into his own body soon. Sam didn’t notice his wandering eyes as he changed without care to the other male in the room.

Sam slid on his shoes once he was finished getting dressed seeing Gabriel had sat up and was now glancing at a photo of Dean and the others from the day at the zoo.

“Is that your brother’s boyfriend?” Gabriel pointed to Castiel which Dean and Castiel stood behind the kids, their arms around their waists. It was obvious by the body language they cared about each other more than friends. 

“Yeah, I would say that. It’s not official apparently.” Sam shrugged. 

“But...you guys live with them right?” Gabriel chuckled. “He came the other day to your room to get you for dinner.” 

“Yeah, but they ‘aren’t official.’ “ Sam mocked as Gabriel chuckled at that. 

“Adults are so weird. You like someone, you like someone, that’s it. It doesn’t have to be complicated.” Gabriel commented getting up he grabbed his backpack. “Come on, let’s go.” Sam watched him walking towards his door before Sam grabbed his own backpack and followed after him.


	7. Just a taste wouldn't hurt

Sam walked into school, Gabriel by his side as he took in the unfamiliar surroundings. This school wasn’t too different from his old one, mostly the mascots were different but highschool was highschool. 

“Let me see your classes,” Gabriel spoke which Sam pulled out his list. “...You picked the classes I recommended.” 

“I figured I should take your word for it,” Sam commented casually as Gabriel smiled to himself before tossing the list away. 

“We got the same classes, so just stick with me and I got you.” Gabriel put an arm around Sam. Sam blushed at the size comparison between the two. Sam towered over Gabriel. 

“Thanks.” Sam smiled as Gabriel walked him to their first class. 

____________________________________________________________________

****  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Castiel woke up tiredly, his body felt so sluggish and he felt like he was deep in a cold. Castiel was home from the hospital, he was given medication to help with the side effects of quitting liquor. However, he still felt terrible.

Castiel paused snapping out of his thoughts realizing he was now standing in front of the fridge, where the liquor was stored before. Castiel knew it was gone, but his body still craved it. Castiel squeezed his eyes shut before turning to walk away from the fridge. 

It’s not there. Stop thinking about it. 

Castiel laid his head against the wall trying to not tempt himself to look just in case Dean forgot to toss it. He needed to get out of the house. That’s it. He just needed to get out of the house. Castiel grabbed his shoes, sliding them on before leaving the house.

____________________________________________________________________

****  
  
  
  
  


Castiel walked into the convenience store, glad for the warmth of the store as it had started to snow. Castiel patted his shoes clean on the mat before he started down the aisles. 

“Maybe I just need something to keep my hands busy,” Castiel mumbled to himself, Castiel grabbed some candy from the aisles. Maybe even a cheap DVD to watch. Just something to keep his mind off...Castiel paused seeing the fridge with adult drinks of all kind. Castiel found himself staring at the vodka. His mouth dried just looking at it. 

If he bought...just one tiny bottle. Would it really hurt? 

He didn’t have to quit, right? He was an adult. Adults drink.

Maybe he needed to practice making limits instead of quitting. 

Castiel couldn’t control himself grabbing a nice cold bottle, Castiel sighed in relief feeling it in his hand. He just wanted a taste. Maybe he could just gargle it. Not drink it. He could have the self-control to not drink it. Maybe even just a light sip. Castiel went the counter as the store clerk eyed the products of Candy and vodka.

“Fun night planned?” The man asked but Castiel didn’t comment. He was just going to have a small sip. That’s all he needed. The man’s brown eyes glanced away from him to ring him up. “I.D. Please.” Castiel pulled out his wallet moving to grab his I.D...but it wasn’t there.

“Where the hell is it?” Castiel panicked moving to check his wallet again before he looked defeated. “...I don’t know where my I.D. is.” 

“Just the candy then?” The man asked ruffling his brown hair but Castiel grew annoyed.

“I’m  _ obviously _ of age.” Castiel snapped. 

“Obviously isn’t good enough.” The man commented annoyed. “I.D. or no vodka.” 

“I have children in first grade!” Castiel hissed demanding his drink.

“Congratulations but there is no legal age limit to pop out a baby.” The man crossed his arms. “That doesn’t do anything for me.”

“Google me! I’m more than legal!” Castiel stated. “I am famous!”

“Sure, kid.” The man scoffed laughing. “That does nothing for me either.” 

“Do you have  _ any _ fucking idea who I am?!” Castiel snapped. 

“A person trying to quit his drinking addiction.” The man spoke as Castiel blinked completely taken back, he took a step back.

“How...How can you tell?” Castiel stated knocked off his high horse.

“Besides your shaking?” The man chuckled. “...You haven’t let go of that bottle since I started ringing you up.” Castiel’s eyes moved to his right hand which gripped the bottle so hard his knuckles were white. Castiel hesitantly let go, relaxing his hand before looking at the clerk.

“How many days?” The man asked. 

“...It’s been a couple of weeks since I quit cold turkey.” Castiel stated not looking at the vodka. 

“...” The man nodded. “You only just started. It’s going to be tough...but are you ready to give up so soon?”

“...no,” Castiel admitted. “..I-I’m not trying to give up, I just wanted to smell it.” 

“Sure, then that smell would turn to a taste, to a shot, to a cup, to a whole bottle, to three a day.” The man commented as Castiel looked down. “I’m not going to sell you this, because drunk you decided he hated what he become so much he decided to make the sober you stop.”

“...” Castiel said nothing.

“No one will sell you a bottle without I.D. anyways.” The man stated before ringing up everything but the bottle. “Here, Icees on the house.” The man handed Castiel a cup that Castiel tiredly and defeatedly sighed before making himself an Icee. “You in A.A. yet?” 

“Yes and no,” Castiel stated. “My…” What was dean to him? They weren’t dating despite the sex and the date offered to Dean once Castiel was sober. “My boyfriend and I went to a couple of places but nothing I liked enough.”

“I got one, my best friend’s in it.” The man leaned against the counter. “You might like it, they hold your hand the whole way.” 

“...Where is it?” Castiel asked taking a sip of the icee. 

“It’s just down the road, a building called Haeven, can’t miss it.” The man spoke. “My name is Michael by the way.”

“...Castiel.” Castiel commented shyly. “Thanks for recommendation but...I’m slightly concerned where my I.D. is.” 

“You said you have a boyfriend, right?” Michael asked as Castiel hesitantly nodded. 

“Sorta boyfriend,” Castiel commented still sipping the drink. 

“Well, I’d check with them. They might have taken it to avoid you trying to buy some alcohol with it.” Michael spoke as Castiel paused at that. Was that possible? Could Dean have taken it?

“...That was smart of him.” Castiel mumbled.

“It’s the first thing A.A. recommends.” Michael beamed innocently. “Can’t do much of anything without one.”

“...” Castiel nodded. He was right. Dean just kept him clean. 

“Go check it out,” Michael reassured handing him the paper with the address. Castiel took it before sliding the candy into his pocket. Castiel lazily sucking his straw as he decided to check it out.

__________________________________________________________________________

****  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Castiel stared up at the glowing sign, this place reminded him of a bar instead of an A.A. meeting place. Castiel glanced down at the address. Normally these were in churches and crap right? 

“This is the right place,” Castiel mumbled before opening the door. The place looked like a bar. 

“Welcome, how can I help you?” A voice spoke which made Castiel turn to the man with spikey blonde hair. He looked like a typical country bar owner, white tee-shirt, blue jeans and cowboy boots. Castiel eyed him, before glancing at the address again.

“I think I’m in the wrong place. I’m looking for Haeven.” Castiel glanced up as the man cleaned his hand with a cloth. 

“This is Haeven.” The man reassured. 

“But...I’m looking for the A.A meeting place Haeven. Not a bar.” Castiel commented. The man laughed. 

“This is a non-alcoholic bar.” The man stated walking over. “For people, like us, who need to quit the habit but also want a fun place to bring the misses or mister for a night out. This is the place.” 

“I never heard of a non-alcoholic bar,” Castiel spoke glancing around as the man ushered him to the bar. 

“We sell everything here, but liquor. You can get almost every flavor of soda, milkshakes, hot chocolates, coffee and tea.” The man spoke as Castiel took a seat at the bar. “Though this is really a place for everyone, we keep it eighteen and up after a certain time so it can still be an adult date night place.” 

“That’s...interesting,” Castiel commented looking around, not sure how to have fun without a drink or two. The bar owner held out his hand. 

“I’m Lucifer and I’m almost five years sober.” The man spoke before Castiel offered his hand to him.

“Castiel...and I’m a couple of weeks in,” Castiel spoke shyly. The man smirked before shaking his hand. 

“Just starting...hardest time is the first month,” Lucifer reassured. 

“I’ve been in the hospital most of it. It will be almost a full week being out in the real world.” Castiel mumbled.

“Don’t knock your achievements,” Lucifer reassured grabbing something behind the counter before pinning something to his shirt. Castiel glanced down seeing the small cheap pin with the words, ‘I am sober and free.’ “Not as cool as the coins, but I give pins for people’s first day. Something for trying. It gives you a sense of achievement. How does it feel?”

“...Great.” Castiel choked out touching the pin with shaking hands. This stupid pin. This stupid pin most likely made from a pin maker kit from amazon. A pin with the words a little off-center, that was extremely unpleasing to the eye because of that... “I-...I feel-...” 

...Made Castiel Novak cry.

Castiel broke down sobbing his hands moving to cover his face as he, a grown man, bawled his eyes out. He wheezed, and sobbed and cried, and whimpered. Lucifer didn’t speak for a long time before his eyes moved to the icee on the counter Castiel brought to him.

“...Michael sent you, didn’t he?” Lucifer whispered as Castiel nodded sniffing after crying himself out. “...He’s a good man, he wouldn’t have sent you here if he thought you were a lost cause.” 

“H...He’s your friend right?” Castiel whispered.

“Five years ago, I was the homeless bum living in front of the convenience store bushes,” Lucifer admitted.

“What?” Castiel was taken back, Lucifer...didn’t look like he had a hard life. He seemed so...ideal. Lucifer took a seat next to him after offering them both a drink of soda. Castiel took it, grateful of the drink after his tears and thirstily drank it.

“I lost my family five years ago,” Lucifer spoke. “A robber came into my home in an attempt to steal our valuables after I left on a business trip. He thought we had gone. My wife startled him going to get some water, he shot her in surprise, then left her to die.” 

“Oh, oh my god.” Castiel choked. 

“No one knew anything was wrong, till I came home after three days,” Lucifer spoke cupping his hands and placing his hands to his face. Castiel was sure it was to keep him from shaking. “I found my wife dead, and my newborn son close to it.” 

And Castiel felt HIS problems were good enough to drink?!

“Don’t compare our tragedies.” Lucifer breathed noticing Castiel’s look. “We all have different problems and different reasons we took the bottle. All valid.”

“Did...your son make it?” Castiel asked as Lucifer hesitantly nodded. 

“When she died, I couldn’t take it. My parents took him in, and I took the bottle. Lost everything, my wife, my son, my house, my job, my reasonable credit score.” Lucifer chuckled sadly. “...I couldn’t even look my son in the face knowing he pretty much lost me too.” Lucifer stated. “Soon I found myself living in the bushes beside the convenience store. Better to live beside the source of your life right?”

“If I could have, I would have too,” Castiel admitted. 

“That’s where I met Michael, You know he’s the third generation to own that corner store?” Lucifer beamed. “He’s an idiot. But a sweet one. Took me in, got me cleaned up, got me clean and got my son back to me. It’s all thanks to him that Teddy and I lives came back together. It’s thanks for him putting the money up for this place so you and I can be having this conversation.”

“That’s wonderful, Lucifer,” Castiel stated as Lucifer put a warm arm around him in a half hug.

“Find your rock. Find what makes you feel. Find what keeps you sober and you’ll be me one day. Sober forever.” Lucifer breathed comforting. 

“...Do you find...yourself missing it?” Castiel’s voice broke as Lucifer pulled back a bit. “...The liquor?”

“All the time.” Lucifer chuckled. “I sometimes think fondly of it. Remember how much I enjoyed it. Then I remember how much it took from me. How many birthdays I missed. How many Christmas’. How many Halloween costumes. Then I remember what the fondness was. The fondness was the loss of time. It didn’t stop my pain, it didn’t make me feel better. It only made the time go a bit faster. I lost five years of my son’s life. I won’t let it take anymore.” 

Castiel sucked in a breath of air trying to calm his shaking. If he hadn’t cried so much earlier he would be crying now.

“Got kids?” Lucifer asked as Castiel nodded. 

“Twins,” Castiel commented clearing his throat. “Five years old.” 

“How much have missed?” Lucifer asked. 

“More than enough.” Castiel breathed as Lucifer patted his back. 

“Good, remember them every day you look at the button.” Lucifer got up before giving him a flyer. “This is when we have our meetings. I would love for you to come sometime. I’ll be here in the morning meetings but someone else is here during the later meetings.” 

“Mornings work better for me, my whole family is out. It will keep me busy.” Castiel gave him a soft smile. 

“Alright. Next meetings tomorrow. I’ll see you then, Castiel?” Lucifer smiled as Castiel nodded getting up. Holding the button on his chest with care as he held the flyer in his other hand. 

“See you, then,” Castiel reassured happily before heading home.

_________________________________________________________________________

****  
  
  
  
  
  
  


“Daddy!” Abigail went bolting to him when they got home. Dean opened the door to the twins who bolted to Castiel who was lazily watching a tv show. 

“My babies! How was your day?!” Castiel howled happily, the kids laughed at his dramatic way of asking them before tickling them. “Were you guys good for Dean?” 

“Yes,” Abigail spoke.

“No! Abi got in trouble.” Alexander ratted her out as Abigail gasped.

“You got in trouble, Abi?” Castiel asked as Abigail pouted ready to cry crossing her arms. “What happened?” Castiel turned to Dean. 

“Abigail cut a boy’s hair in class today.” Dean breathed. 

“Abigail,” Castiel stated. 

“Mommy said boys with long hair are bad,” Abigail explained. “I-I didn’t want him to get in trouble.” 

“What did mommy say about boys with long hair?” Castiel asked concerned. 

“Mommy said boys with long hair go to hell.” Abigail sobbed getting more and more upset as she talked. 

“Boys with long hair aren’t going to hell.” Castiel blinked so confused why Lisa would say that. Dean sighed as he kneeled down to Abigail. 

“...did your mommy say that because she thought boys with long hair like other boys?” Dean asked as Abigail sobbed nodding not understanding why her family was upset with her. 

“Abigail. Long hair doesn’t make you like girls or boys.” Castiel reassured touching her back. “Girls can like girls or boys just like boys can like girls or boys.” 

“But mommy said-” Abigail sobbed so upset as Castiel pulled her into a hug. 

“Mommy was wrong. Mommy should have never told you that.” Castiel rocked her. 

“I-I didn’t want T-Teddy to get in trouble like Alex did.” Abigail sobbed. 

“Like Alex did?” Castiel asked as Abigail continued to cry.

_______________________________________________________________________

****  
  
  
  


**A year ago**

****  
  
  
  
  


Alexander sat in daycare in front of the yard playhouse, Abigail and the boy with long hair arguing. 

“I don’t  _ wanna _ be the mommy!” Abigail whined as the boy, Kevin Tran tugged at his long hair that went down to his mid-back. Normally his parents put it up into a bun to keep it out his face. Alexander could tell he liked it down, and so Kevin normally found a way to get out of the bun. 

“But you’re a girl,” Kevin commented back in a whine. 

“I wanna be the baby!” Abigail cried, about to be in tears. 

“Girls are mommies!” Kevin commented. 

“I hate being the mommy!” Abigail bit back as Alexander caused the fight to calm down.

“I can be a mommy.” Alexander scooted close, Kevin accepted the answer with a shrug before he grabbed a play apron from the toy chest. Alexander slid it on, which was more like a long t-shirt than an apron. Kevin took his hair tie moving to tie up Alexander bowl cut hair into a small ponytail. 

“There. Now you’re the mommy.” Kevin giggled as Alexander beamed. 

“Mommy’s wear red stuff on their face.” Abigail walked over grabbing a red marker making big red sloppy lips on him. Alexander giggled at the feeling. 

“Draw on me next!” Kevin asked as Alexander grabbed the blue making him a beard and mustache. The kids laughing as Abigail helped. 

“There! Now you’re daddy!” Abigail giggled as Alexander giggled as well. Abigail giggled pretending to whine like a baby, crawling on the floor play sucking her thumb. “Momma I want baba!” Abigail pouted holding the toy bottle out made for a baby. Alexander took it turning to make it in the toy kitchen. 

“I got you, baby!” Alexander giggled when he was yanked roughly out of the playhouse, forced to his feet Lisa stood over him gripping his chin so tightly he started to cry. 

“What the  _ hell  _ are you wearing?” Lisa snapped throwing his chin away to grab the child apron and yanked it off. Alexander cried, his mother was rough and pulled his hair trying to pry it off her child. “You want to be a fag? You want to go to hell and never see your sister again?” 

“N-No.” Alexander sobbed with a hiccup as she grabbed his chin roughly attempting to rub the red marker with her thumb, digging into his skin till it hurt. All it did was smear the marker.

“Boys aren’t made to like boys.” Lisa snapped before turning to Kevin glaring at him. “Don’t you  _ dare _ come close to my son with your gay shit.” 

“Ms. Braeden!” The caregiver snapped as Kevin’s mother Linda moved to Kevin who immediately started to cry not understanding.

“How  _ dare _ you talk to my son that way!” Linda stood. 

“Look just because you want to raise your kid gay doesn’t mean he’s allowed to preach it to others.” Lisa snapped. 

“He’s a child! Gay or not, I don’t care!” Linda snapped. “But he’s a child. He doesn’t like anything but teenage mutant ninja turtles, no girls, no boys. Just turtle ninjas!!! No one is forcing anything on children but you!” 

“Look at his hair and tell me you are actually raising him as a man. Men with long hair are bitch fags and I won’t tolerate this! I’ll find a better daycare.” Lisa snapped at her, grabbing the twins so harshly they cried and yanked them towards the car. “If I ever see you with boys like that again, I will hit you with the belt. Do you understand?” 

Abigail watched Alexander sob as Lisa forced him into the car seat, grabbing a wet nap she scrubbed the lipstick marker till his skin was raw. She got in the car after she was satisfied and reversed dialing into her phone. 

“Hey, Alastair. It’s Lisa. Do you have black tar for me?” Lisa spoke as she scratched at the needle marks on her arm. Abigail's eyes moved back to Alexander who learned to sob silently not to make her come back for more punishment on him. Abigail reached over taking Alexanders hand holding it close and promising never to let go.

________________________________________________________________________

****  
  
  
  
  
  


**Now**

****  
  
  
  


The room was silent as Abigail continued to cry, Dean was the first one to speak gaining the rooms attention.

“It’s okay to like girls or boys,” Dean reassured. “...I like boys.”

“You...You do?” Abigail sobbed as Dean nodded. 

“I like boys, do you think I will go to hell?” Dean asked.

“N-...No.” Abigail sniffed as Dean rubbed her back softly. 

“...I like boys.” Castiel spoke making Abigail turn.

“B-But you and mommy made me,” Abigail started sniffing. “That means you like girls.”

“That’s true because I like girls and boys,” Castiel explained taking Dean’s hand. “I happen to really like Dean. Just like I liked your mom.” Castiel tried to explain before accidentally throwing love into the mix. Dean and his relationship was just starting and he didn’t want to mess it up.

“So you love Dean?” Abigail looked at Dean as Dean gave her a small smile before she looked at Abigail. 

“...Yes.” Castiel whispered as Dean felt blush fill his face. 

“Just like you loved mommy?” Abigail sniffed.

“Just like that,” Castiel reassured. 

“So Dean is like our new mommy?” Alexander asked. 

“No, Dean won't ever take your mommy’s place-” Castiel tried worried his kids would think he was replacing Lisa in their lives.

“But I want him to.” Abigail sniffed as she turned opening her arms to Dean which Dean accepted her hug. “Can you be my new mommy?” Castiel’s heart pounded at that. At Abigail’s sobs and her desperate plea. Dean held her close tightly, burying his face into her shoulder. 

“I’ll be whatever you want me to be.” Dean breathed. “If you want to call me mommy, or stepdaddy, or daddy Dean, or mama Dean or whatever.” Dean wiped his tears, that had started to fall. “I’ll be here for you no matter what.” Alexander started to cry at those words moving to hug Dean too.

“Can you be my mama too?” Alexander whimpered. 

“Of course.” Dean cried softly just holding them both close. Castiel couldn’t help his own tears as he joined the hug just holding his children close. Allowing all the emotions they felt to pour out and let the festering wounds heal.


	8. Haircut

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Picture decription: Gabriel, Alexander, Sam...Castiel, Abigail, Dean... Michael, Teddy, Lucifer.

Sam sat in his last class lazily watching the teacher explaining things he already learned in his other school at the beginning of the year. Sam glanced away from the teacher when he heard something tap his desk. Looking down, Sam noticed a folded swan that had landed on his desk. Made out of the lesson plan they were going over today. Sam smiled picking it up when he noticed Gabriel looking at him from his desk diagonally in front of Sam’s.

Sam smiled at him looking at the origami, Gabriel was good at this. Gabriel gave him a soft smile before Sam noticed a little writing on the wing. Sam opened the wing to read the words ‘I’ll take you home.’ Sam nodded to him which Gabriel took his attention off him to look back at the board. Sam took the origami carefully sliding it into his bag just as the school bell went off. 

Sam collected his stuff just as Gabriel took a seat on his desk. Sam gave him a look as Gabriel beamed at him. 

“Ready?” Gabriel asked as Sam nodded standing. “Good, hey did you want to come over?”

“Your house?” Sam asked taken back.

“Yeah, I mean, the only time you have seen my room is when you’re being a perv and staring into my window.” Gabriel teased as Sam blushed.

“I-I am not a perv.” Sam choked as Gabriel laughed at that. 

“Sure you’re not.” Gabriel rolled his eyes climbing off the desk and walking towards the door which Sam follow. 

___________________________________________________________________________

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Gabriel opened the door to his home, the house was pretty normal. Lived in, the house had family photos. Mostly Gabriel and his mom. Sam took in the photos as Gabriel grabbed some sodas from the fridge before ushering Sam up to his room. 

“So, is it you and your mom?” Sam asked noticing no father in the picture. 

“My mom and dad are divorced,” Gabriel commented. “He lives back in Brooklyn, I normally see him in the summer.”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Sam mumbled, feeling bad he brought it up.

“It’s no big deal, they just realized they would rather be friends. Honestly, they are so much better apart anyways. They are best friends again instead of resenting each other.” Gabriel opened his bedroom door, kicking off his shoes. “Why do you ask?”

“I just noticed your dad isn’t in many photos,” Sam mentioned.

“My dad took most of the photos,” Gabriel explained. “He’s a photographer, so he likes taking photos instead of being in photos.” 

“Oh, what does your mom do?” Sam asked.

“She works at the zoo. She’s the head veterinarian.” Gabriel stated. “That’s why we moved out here, my mom’s dream was to be in charge of exotic pets. Sometimes, she brings home the babies that need more care. It’s awesome, we had a sloth living in our living room a month ago.” 

“That’s awesome.” Sam gasped. 

“Yeah, that’s how my mom and dad met. He takes pictures of wildlife.” Gabriel commented tossing his backpack towards the closet door. “I got to go check on my grandpa if you want to come.”

“Sure,” Sam commented placing his bag down. Gabriel ushered him down to the first floor, near the kitchen.

“This used to be a four-bedroom house, but we made two rooms into another master suite for my grandpa.” Gabriel pushed the door opened seeing an old man lying in the bed. The tv was on, and he seemed to be watching a cooking channel of some sort. “Hey, Grandpa,” Gabriel spoke to the bed. “How are you doing?”

“Still kicking.” The man spoke before moving to pat for the remote which Gabriel found for him muting the tv. Which his grandpa did to show he was giving him all his attention. His grandpa noticed the tall teen in the room with him. “Whose’s the walking stick?”

“This is Sam Winchester. He lives next door?” Gabriel spoke reminding him. “Sam, this is my grandpa bobby.”

“Nice to meet you, boy.” Bobby offered his hand as Sam moved to shake it. “Firm grip.” Bobby turned his attention to Gabriel. “You staying out of trouble?” 

  
  


“Today,” Gabriel reassured as Bobby chuckled.

_ “Today.” _ Bobby snorted. 

“Did you need anything before I head upstairs?” Gabriel asked as Bobby waved him off. 

“I’m old, not dead,” Bobby commented waving him off. “I don’t need anything.” 

“Alright, just call for me if you need anything,” Gabriel stated as Bobby continued to wave him off. Gabriel and Sam left the room hearing the tv sound turn back on as Gabriel walked back upstairs. 

“Your grandpa seems nice,” Sam commented.

“He’s great,” Gabriel stated.

“He seems pretty capable,” Sam commented curiously why they had anyone taking care of him.

“He is, but he fell about six months ago before he was living with us,” Gabriel stated. “It took someone almost seven hours to notice something was wrong. My mom had called the police to check on him when a neighbor called her the sink was running in the kitchen for a couple of hours. That’s when he was found. Broke his hip. After that, Mom panicked and told him to come to live with us.” 

“So that’s why he lives with you now?” Sam asked. Gabriel nodded. 

“Yeah, I don’t mind. He’s awesome.” Gabriel commented. “He minds though. He misses his old life. He was pretty independent before the fall. Had a car repair place, his old home, and his dog.”

“What happened to his dog?” Sam asked. 

“The dog passed away from old age a couple of months ago,” Gabriel explained. “She was seventeen years old.” 

“I’m...sorry.” Sam recoiled. 

“Her name was Sandy. She used to be my grandmas, but she passed in her sleep when she was fifty.” Gabriel stated plopping back onto his bed pulling out a cigarette, he lit it before opening his window. Sam took a seat at his desk as Gabriel sucked in smoke. “He hated dogs, but when my grandma died, he took on Sandy. They became best friends.”

“That’s so sad,” Sam pouted. 

“Yeah, he misses her a lot,” Gabriel commented. “I wanted to get him another dog, but mom said a puppy would be too much for him. I think it might do him good and give him a reason to leave the bed.” 

“Maybe you can get him an older dog,” Sam stated. “That way they are potty trained and junk.” 

“Maybe.” Gabriel nodded liking the suggestion before glancing at movement in Sam’s room. “Is that your brother?” Sam turned seeing Dean, who seemed to be vacuuming and cleaning the room. 

“Yeah. He’s my older brother.” Sam explained as he took the cigarette Gabriel offered it to him, Dean couldn’t see them from where they were sitting. 

“He’s cute, but not as cute as you,” Gabriel mumbled as Sam blushed at the comment. 

“You think I’m cute?” Sam asked as Gabriel nodded, Sam took a breath of the cigarette smoke. 

“Why, you don’t know you are?” Gabriel raised an eyebrow. 

“I’m a slender man looking motherfucker.” Sam chuckled offering the cigarette to Gabriel who took it.

“So? I look like I should be gang banging snow white in a cottage.” Gabriel spoke as Sam broke into harsh laughter. “What? I’m pretty short.” 

“You are a normal height,” Sam stated.

“For a girl.” Gabriel snorted. Sam chuckled as Gabriel blew out smoke. Sam eyed him with care once the laughter died down. “...So you gay?” Sam broke into laughter at the blunt comment, Gabriel chuckled as well as Sam tried to catch his breath. 

“So blunt,” Sam commented.

“Got to know if I have a chance,” Gabriel admitted as Sam blushed realizing he was serious. 

“Are you hitting on me?” Sam commented taken back. 

“Yeah,” Gabriel commented. Sam blinked taken back, someone...like Gabriel. Who was good looking, pretty popular and nice?

“...Yeah.” Sam nodded shyly looking down. “I would say I’m majority gay.”

“Majority gay?” Gabriel laughed loudly coughing from inhaling the smoke in his laughing. 

“I had a crush on a girl named Jessica in second grade. So I’m pretty sure I’m like ninety percent gay.” Sam explained as Gabriel continued his laugh. Man, Gabriel’s laugh was great. A full belly and loud. 

“Okay. Fair.” Gabriel wiped his tears snorting, scooting closer to Sam as Sam blushed at the slight movement. “Well, I’m gay, and I think I would like to get to know you more, Sam Winchester.” Sam paused at that, they stared at each other. Sam noticed they were slightly leaning in when his phone alerted him to call. Sam blushed hard, moving to grab his phone.

“H-Hello?” Sam asked. 

“Hey, it’s me. When are you coming home? It’s almost an hour since you should have been home.” Dean asked. 

“Um, I-I’m just going to be there in a second,” Sam commented grabbing his bag. 

“Awesome, we are going to take the kids for a meal, so get a move on,” Dean started hanging up as Sam slid his phone into his pocket, 

“I-I...I need to go.” Sam hesitated as Gabriel nodded blowing out smoke. 

“I guess I’ll see you later tonight.” Gabriel smiled ushering to their window as Sam chuckled. 

“Right, tonight,” Sam stated as Gabriel watched Sam leave out the door, Gabriel watched him go before he laid back in bed continuing to smoke. 

_______________________________________________________________________

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Dean held the twins’ hands as they walked into the Haeven, Castiel hasn’t stopped talking about this place since Dean got home from work. Dean glanced around the bar looking atmosphere, but the tables out with people eating of all ages made him relax. 

“Cas!” Lucifer walked over. “Welcome!” 

  
“Lucifer!” Castiel spoke as Lucifer pulled him into a warm hug. “I didn’t realize you would be here.”

“I leave at five-thirty,” Lucifer stated noticing the family. “These must be the twins you mentioned.”

“Ah, yes. This is Abigail and this is Alexander.” Castiel beamed showing off the twins before pausing to introduce Dean. “This is...Dean and this is Sam.”

“Oh, I didn’t realize your boyfriend was Teddy’s kindergarten teacher.” A voice spoke as Castiel turned seeing Michael holding a young boy on his hip. Abigail tensed seeing the boy and hid behind Dean’s leg. “Nice to see you again, Mr. Winchester.”

“Michael.” Dean smiled since the kids refused to let go of his hand. Lucifer moved to collect Teddy from him.

“Look at you!” Lucifer beamed at his son with his short spikey hair. “You look like a brand new dollar bill! You like getting a hair cut, buddy?” Sam and Dean seemed to get what happened before Castiel did. Both standing awkwardly.

“Yeah,” Teddy admitted as Abigail hid more behind Dean. Castiel...put two and two together.

“Oh my god. You’re the boy that got their hair cut off.” Castiel breathed ashamed as Abigail felt tears in her eyes. “I am so sorry. It was all a big misunderstanding, my daughter thought she was helping him-” Lucifer looked at Abigail who whimpered holding onto Dean’s leg. Dean patted her back as Lucifer felt a tug on his shoulder. Abigail continued to cry burying her face into his thigh.

“Daddy, Abi didn’t do it, I did.” Teddy lied covering for Abigail as Abigail looked at him pouting. It was obvious he was lying, especially since Dean explained what happened to Michael after school after Michael picked him up.

“Did you now?” Lucifer asked. Teddy nodded quickly. 

“I wanted um, my hair like this tiny.” Teddy pinched his fingers together as Lucifer chuckled. 

“Well, it’s this tiny now. Do you like it?” Lucifer snorted. 

“Yeah.” Teddy nodded as he looked at Abigail. “Daddy, can we go play?” 

“Sure, why don’t you guys go play in my office while I get a table for the adults.” Lucifer kissed him before Teddy was set down. 

“Com’ on!” Teddy giggled running towards the back. Alexander went to follow but Abigail sniffed sadly. “Abi come on!” Teddy called which perked her up and she happily went to follow. 

“Kids.” Lucifer chuckled.

“Again, I am _ so _ sorry.” Castiel choked embarrassed. “We will pay for the haircut-” 

“It’s fine, no big deal. As long as it wasn’t with malice, and she seems to understand it was wrong. Teddy is happy. So I’m okay.” Lucifer spoke as he ushered them to a table. “Come on, join us at the table.” Castiel and Dean followed them to a table where Michael and Lucifer took a seat looking at the menus as everyone fell into an awkward silence.

“Teddy is an amazing child.” Dean broke the silence. “It is such a pleasure to teach him. He’s my little helper.” Castiel was so grateful to him. 

“He adores you,” Michael commented. “He always goes on a long rant about everything you taught him that day.”

“He flipped when you showed him a magic trick. Now he’s constantly showing people.” Lucifer chuckled. 

“What magic trick?” Castiel asked as Dean showed him the little trick where it looks like the thumb separates from the hand. “Fancy.” 

“He loved the magic book you go him for his birthday,” Lucifer commented. “He makes me read to him every night at dinner where we will practice a trick.”

“I’m so glad.” Dean smiled as he took Castiel’s hand squeezing it reassuring everything was okay. “I did want to talk to you about something though since I have you.” 

“Yes, sure go ahead,” Lucifer spoke a little concerned as Dean nodded. 

“I believe Teddy might have dyslexia,” Dean commented. “I just notice when he spells his name, which we have them copy their name on their desk, he flips the ‘d’s to ‘p’s.” 

“Really? I wouldn’t be surprised. My late wife had it. She used to always rearrange dates. Every birthday she would always mix up the numbers on the cake. I was sixty-two one birthday, instead of twenty-six.’” Lucifer chuckled. 

“It can be passed down,” Dean commented with a chuckle. “I have all the information ready for it at school and ways we can help Teddy overcome this small obstacle in his education. I was going to mention it to Michael but obviously, a lot was going on today.”

“To tell you the truth, I should have gotten him a haircut some time ago,” Lucifer admitted, Michael took his hand. “Especially since Teddy was having a hard time keeping his bangs out of his view, but I admit. Change is still hard for me. I knew if I cut his hair, it would be a sign of him growing up and that’s something hard for me. With my late wife gone, it just reminds me how much she’s missing.”

“Teddy told me about her,” Dean admitted, glad that didn’t have to be explained as he covered both their hands with his. “He tells me all about her and he always keeps that locket on his neck with her picture. I wish I could have met such a wonderful woman.” 

“My regret is Teddy never met her,” Lucifer spoke. “He was only a couple of months old when she passed. However, she’s not gone from our lives, Teddy likes to watch home videos and he is allowed to look at her facebook photos whenever he likes.”

“Technology is wonderful for moments like this,” Dean commented. 

“He likes to like her old Instagram.” Lucifer chuckled. “She still has notifications set up on the home computer and I’ll see notifications that I liked a photo. It’s always Teddy on my phone.”

“That’s so sweet,” Sam commented as the waitress came over, the adults ordered for themselves and then the children which the waitress knew to just bring the kids food into Lucifer’s office. Sam sucked down a soda as the adults drank their drinks.

“It’s good to have connections with the past.” Castiel nodded his hand gripping his soda his body craving a shot but he was holding himself together well. Castiel took his medication he put into his pocket before they came here. “Sorry, it helps with the need-”

“We don’t shame here, Castiel,” Michael reassured. “If you need help in medication, you take what you need.”

“Thanks.” Castiel smiled feeling a bit better.

“So how long have you guys been together?” Michael asked as Castiel almost spilled out his drink. 

“Um...Maybe a couple of months.” Dean didn’t hesitate to answer. “We are just letting things flow, mostly.”

“Oh since I just remembered, did you ever find your I.D.?” Michael asked Castiel as Castiel paused. 

“Oh, yeah,” Castiel commented. “Dean, do you have my I.D.?” 

“I do,” Dean commented. “I took it to avoid you sneaking out to break your streak.” Castiel sighed with care, taking his hand. “...How did you know his I.D. was missing?”

“Um.” Michael hesitated not wanting to rat Castiel out.

“He works at the convenience store down the street,” Castiel stated just as hesitantly.

“You...weren’t...trying to buy liquor were you?” Dean asked. Castiel could already hear the hidden fear in the voice. The disappointment. Michael noticed how broken Castiel felt at those words.

“No, actually he didn’t.” Michael lied keeping the part of liquor from the conversation. Castiel took the help with happiness not wanting to disappoint Dean with his weakness. 

“I-I was buying some candy when I noticed it was missing,” Castiel commented as a smile beamed on Dean’s face. 

“We started talking and that’s when I recommended this place to him.” Michael continued. 

“I’m proud of you,” Dean commented kissing Castiel’s forehead with care. Castiel blushed. Sam didn’t buy it, and Castiel could tell as Sam raised an eyebrow. However, he didn’t comment, instead just taking a chip from the appetizers. 

“Thanks.” Castiel breathed squeezing his hand. Dean changed the subject after a moment it looked like this question was on his lips.

“Do you mind if I ask if you ever found her killer?” Dean asked as Lucifer shook his head no.

“No, there was physical evidence, but no match of who killed her. The bullet matched a gun that was stolen years ago, passed around from criminal to criminal. By the time they found the gun, it had been exchanged to a new guy who wasn’t in the state when my wife died. He had no idea who the person sold him the gun was.” Lucifer explained. “They also wore gloves so no fingerprints. No one saw them. No one heard the gun….It was like it never happened.” 

“I’m so sorry,” Dean stated. 

“It is what it is.” Lucifer breathed. “So far all we have is DNA. After...after they shot my wife, they vomited into one of our plants. No hit on the DNA yet. But they test for it every year.”

“Hopefully, they will find them soon,” Dean commented. 

“I do too,” Lucifer stated nodded. “As hopeless as it sounds, I never give up hope they will find out who did it. It’s one of the reasons to hold me accountable for being sober. Keeping it together for Teddy, and to be able to look her killer in the eye as they lock them up.” 

“Good goals,” Castiel admitted. 

“Have you been thinking of your own?” Lucifer asked as Castiel nodded.

“I want to be the best parent I can be for my kids…” Castiel held out his fingers as he counted. “...and I want to be a better man for Dean.” Dean blushed at that, Castiel kissed Dean’s hand as Dean smiled nuzzling into him. 

“Good goals,” Lucifer spoke as the food was brought in front of them. Dean and Castiel removed their connected hands as they started to eat. Sam moaned at the delicious burgers. Everyone happily enjoying the delicious meal.

_____________________________________________________________________________

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


The kids in the office were playing with a large number of toys in the room, Abigail quietly chomping on chicken nuggets. Alexander and Teddy were laughing playing with legos, Teddy paused noticing how quiet Abigail was. Teddy got up walking over offering her a lego. 

“Come play.” Teddy beamed innocently. 

“But...I did a bad thing.” Abigail whimpered in tears. 

“It’s okay. You made a booboo.” Teddy explained. “It’s okay.”

“I-I didn’t..._ sniff _...mean to-” Abigail sobbed.

“It’s okay, I like my hair like this.” Teddy beamed ruffling his hair as Abigail sniffed.

“R-...Really?” Abigail asked as Teddy nodded.

“I look so cool!” Teddy giggled as Abigail giggled feeling a little better. 

“I sorry.” Abigail stood to put her hands behind her back.

“It’s okay.” Teddy smiled offering his hand. Abigail smiled before she took it. Teddy lead her back to the toys as they all started to play with the legos.

__________________________________________________________________________________________

The adults were almost done eating when the kids went out to greet them after finishing their own. Sam was the first to notice dropping his fork on his plate in surprise when the adults turned to see Abigail's long hair now cut almost to her ears. All uneven, and all different lengths as Teddy proudly held the scissors.

"Look, Daddy! I'm like Teddy!" Abigail giggled spinning to show off her head.

"Did I do okay?" Teddy asked. Dean didn't answer and held his hand out to the scissors. Teddy gave them to Dean who sighed.

"Let's never play with scissors again." Dean breathed as Abigail hugged Castiel. "You could have got hurt."

"Sorry!" Teddy and Abigail giggled happily.

"I guess we are even." Lucifer hummed as Castiel took in his daughter's hair.

"Do you like it, daddy?" Abigail asked as Castiel chuckled. 

"It will be better once we make it all one length." Castiel sighed holding her. 

"I'll make you an appointment with a great cosmetologist for kids, I'm sure she can fit you guys in today," Michael commented typing into his phone as Castiel sighed looking at his little girl. She seemed so proud and happy with her new hair. She honestly looked identical to her brother with her hair like this. Castiel held her into a hug.

"If you like it, I like it." Castiel hummed as Abigail nuzzled into him. 

"I told them not to," Alexander commented climbing onto Dean's lap. Dean squished him close. 

"You are such a good boy!" Dean hummed tickling him as Alexander laughed loudly, Sam laughed at Alexander squeals. 

"Maybe we can all do with a haircut," Castiel commented as eyes moved to Sam's grown out hair. 

"A trim ONLY!" Sam choked. "I like my hair like this."

"Sure, whatever you say Mufasa," Dean commented as Sam made a face at him, Alexander giggled understanding the reference. "Had any monkey's holding you up claiming you're the new king?"

"That's Simba." Sam mocked back as Castiel blinked confused.

"I don't understand that reference." Castiel blinked as Dean laughed, everyone chuckling about how that went over his head. "Dean?"

"Looks like we will be watching the Lion King tonight." Dean sighed chuckling kissing Castiel's forehead.  
  


"Could I come?" Teddy asked as Lucifer tensed slightly, fears of losing him obvious in his face, But Michael's hand reassured him it would be okay. 

"How about the twins come spend the night this weekend?" Dean asked mostly to Lucifer which seemed to calm his fears. It wasn't like he didn't trust them, it was the fact the last time he left teddy for more than a couple hours...he almost died.

"Please?!" The kids beamed to Lucifer who nodded. 

"Okay. I'll pick them up from school on Friday." Lucifer spoke as Dean nodded. Lucifer grateful for Dean understanding his fears. 

"Charlie said she can squeeze you guys in now, if you wanted to get her hair sorted, here is the info," Michael spoke handing Dean the address as Castiel and Dean nodded to each other getting up. 

"Thank you both for everything," Dean spoke as the Adults shook hands. Castiel tossed a couple of bills to cover the meal before Lucifer could object. They said their goodbyes and went to handle the little girls messed up hair. 


	9. Lisa's deal

Charlie brushed and fixed up the little girl Abigail’s hair, it wasn’t too bad of a cut to work with. The worse she had seen was when a little girl practically scalped herself and her family wanted Charlie to magically grow her hair back. Charlie gave a couple of more cuts, fixing the pixie for the little girl. Who was one of the most well-behaved girls to work with, which near the end of her shift worked well for her.

“Alright, there.” Charlie turned Abigail towards the mirror taking off the cape, Abigail gasped looking at her little pixie cut. “What do you think?” Charlie asked sliding a clip bow in which Abigail lit up seeing it. “Like it?” Abigail kicked her feet happily squealing. “Parents?” Charlie turned her to the guest chairs as Dean, Sam and Castiel glanced up. 

“Mama! Look! I’m a pretty princess!” Abigail climbed off the chair before Charlie could help her, Abigail ran into Dean’s arms as Dean scooped her up. 

“You are!” Dean stated as she turned happily to Castiel who kissed her cheek. 

“Very beautiful,” Castiel commented as Abigail giggled. 

“Okay, why don’t we toss the other one in here for a trim and Goldilocks, that way I can turn anyone away that wants something complicated till the door closed,” Charlie commented ushering Alexander forward. Alexander was lifted and placed into the chair. Charlie moved to wet and cut his hair. “I’m just going to give you a little trim, how does that sound?”

“Sounds great,” Castiel commented. 

“Wasn’t talking to you, dad.” Charlie teased putting on the cape as Castiel chuckled looking back at his phone. “Sound good, Alexander?” 

“Yes.” Alexander agreed, Charlie combing and cutting the ends. 

“So how long have you been doing hair?” Dean asked as Charlie thought.

“Since I was fourteen. I guess, but mostly I was doing my own. A lot of trial and error. But That’s okay. I was in a punk phase so anything goes with that.” Charlie shrugged. “Doing it professionally, maybe seven years?” 

“Is this your shop or do you rent?” Dean asked.

“It’s mine. Not a lot of mom and pop shops left. However, I learned how to barber too, so I have more appeal than that corporate stuff.” Charlie commented. “Plus, my prices are more reasonable.” 

“Sounds fair,” Dean commented. “I love the name ‘JABBA THE CUT.’” 

“Almost a lawsuit but not really.” Charlie clicked her tongue pointing at him. Dean chuckled as Castiel looked at him, also not understanding the reference. 

“I’ll add that to the list too,” Dean commented to him as Castiel nodded. 

“There you go, buddy,” Charlie stated turning him to look at the mirror, taking off the cape. Alexander touched his hair before he beamed at her. “There, healthy hair.” 

“Thanks, um, Charlie,” Alexander spoke as Charlie helped him down and Alexander ran to Castiel.

“The last one, come on Fabio.” Charlie ushered Sam over, Sam sighed walking over as Charlie put on the cape. He slumped slightly as Charlie lowered the chair for him, moving to trim his hair. “Sit up or I’ll get the trimmer.” Sam sat up as Charlie beamed. “Look at you. Almost cute under all that teenage angst.”

“I don’t have teenage angst,” Sam mumbled as Charlie laughed at that. 

“You are adorable, kid,” Charlie commented as she trimmed his hair. Sam watched lazily as Charlie just gave him a small trim. Charlie pulled off the cape. “There, now you can live up your Fabio dreams.” 

“Thanks.” Sam chuckled getting up as Dean and Castiel got up. 

“Thanks, Charlie,” Dean spoke as Castiel shook her hand giving her a large tip. 

“Anytime.” Charlie thanked them as she watched them go. 

___________________________________________________________________________

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Dean plopped down into Castiel’s bed after changing into their pajamas on, Dean watched Castiel getting dressed after a shower. Castiel barely paid him any mind, so used to Dean filling that spot in his bed that any sign of life was seen as normal. 

“You know, if we plan to share a room, we should just share a room,” Castiel commented as Dean glanced over at him. 

“Hm?” Dean asked as Castiel took a seat next to him on the bed. 

“Why don’t you move in with me?” Castiel asked. “You sleep here every night anyways.”

“And give up my room without a master bathroom?” Dean playfully whined. Castiel chuckled laying down to pet his hair. “What will the kids say?”

“Well, I think they would approve.” Castiel smiled as Dean blinked up with love at him. “Think about it, we can turn the extra bedroom into a guest room or an office for you so you don’t have to stay at work to grade papers.”

“Ooh, an office, that would be nice,” Dean mumbled as Castiel kissed his forehead. “...Are you sure you want to take that step with me?”

“Are _ you _ sure you want to take this next step with me?” Castiel asked as Dean smiled up at him. 

“Yeah...I do.” Dean hummed as Castiel leaned down kissing him easily. Dean hummed into the kiss, as it started to grow heated. Castiel happy to climb on top of him to continue the kiss.

____________________________________________________________________________

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Alexander’s dream: Three days before living with Castiel**

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Alexander’s eyes slid over to his mother who scratched at the needle puncture marks on her arms. Abigail and Alexander eating some cereal across from her, as Lisa continued to scratch. Her eyes kept moving to the clock that clicked loudly in the silent room. She was pale, her eyes had dark circles from her sleepless nights. Alexander looked into his bowl with a mix of cereals since Lisa hadn’t gone shopping in a bit. Some were fresher, some were stale and with no fresh milk, they were just eating it with water. 

“Mommy. Can I have some juice?” Abigail asked first as Alexander looked at her almost pleading for her to shut up. Both children were unable to eat the nasty watered cereal. 

“We don’t have any _ juice. _” Lisa mocked annoyed as her leg shook from nerves when the doorbell rang. “Just eat your cereal.” Alexander turned watching her walk to the door, Lisa opened it talking to someone he couldn’t make out. Her voice started to get louder as she snatched something from the person’s hand and attempted to slam the door on him. 

Abigail and Alexander watched their mother struggle at the door before the door and her were forced back. Lisa fell to the ground knocking the bag of powdered heroin onto the floor. She looked scared as she backed up. The door opened the twins watching a male enter the room, a gun pointed down at their mother. Lisa looked scared holding her arms out. 

“A-Alastair. I-I was only kidding! Please! D-Don’t kill me!” Lisa sobbed as she put her arms up protectively. Abigail dropped her spoon in surprise, it clanged into the wooden floor causing Alastair to turn the gun towards them. “Alastair, stop! They are just kids!” Lisa forced herself up blocking the opening to the kitchen with her body. Lisa trying to be bigger than she was. She was so small and so thin, that she was a better window than a door. 

“You tried to rip me off?” Alastair grabbed her hair causing her to scream, he threw her to the ground pointing the gun at her again. “I came _ to _ you. From the _ kindness _ of my heart. To _ give _you what you wanted.” 

“Alastair, please. I-I’m sorry.” Lisa sobbed as he grabbed her hair forcing her up so he could whisper in her ear. “I-I just don’t have the money-”

“You owe me _ five grand _, you junkie.” Alastair hissed. “And because of your stunt, you won’t get anything from me or anyone till you get it.” 

“ALASTAIR, PLEASE!” Lisa was tossed onto the ground as Alastair scooped up the baggie and walked away. Lisa panted noticing there was a bit that fell out of the bag. She moved to it scooping up the small amount desperately when she noticed her children watching her. “...Go to your room.” Lisa hissed as the twins listened and left. Lisa cradling the Heroin with desperation before she got up to use it. 

___________________________________________________________________________

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Now:**

  
  
  
  


Alexander shot up panting as he felt the cold wetness from once again peeing the bed. Alexander tossed off the blankets seeing the pee just resting on the protective plastic covering and absorbing into the sheets. Alexander wiped the sweat from his face, taking in the blue-painted room with dinosaur themes from Alexander’s choosing. Alexander climbed off the bed, looking at his pee with disgust and shame. 

Alexander moved out of the room, bypassing his sister’s room this time before getting to his father’s bedroom. Alexander hesitated at the door, leaning in he stared into the keyhole. Alexander could make out two mounds in the bed, both deep asleep. Castiel snoring loudly as Dean’s feet were poking out of the sheets. Alexander grabbed the knob, opening the door. Alexander quietly walked into his parent’s room. Alexander’s feet tapping on the wooden floor as he walked. 

Unsure how to wake them, and a part of him not wanting to, Alexander reached over to poke Castiel’s face. Dean made a small noise, as Castiel stopped snoring, slightly waking from sleep. Alexander poked him against as Castiel opened his eyes seeing Alexander. 

“...Okay.” Castiel mumbled, he didn’t need to ask why Alexander was there. “Dean, can you start the bath?” 

“Yeah.” Dean’s rough voice as he moved to get up suddenly awake by someone calling his name. Dean walked over scooping up Alexander, Alexander whimpered knowing he was covered in pee, Dean held him anyways taking him to the master bathroom. Dean set him on the sink before moving to the tub and turning it on. 

Dean leaned down feeling the water as Castiel groaned getting himself up and walked towards Alexander’s room. Dean sighed getting up once he started filling the bathtub with warm water.

“Hands up,” Dean spoke as Alexander listened putting his hands up. Dean helped slid off the shirt, pants then the underwear. Dean set Alexander down into the tub, Alexander relaxed into the warmth on the tub. Dean smiled at him with care, pouring some bubbles that Dean had bought for him as well as some bathroom toys. Alexander knew Dean got this stuff to make him feel better. “Bad dream?” 

Alexander shrugged.

“Is it about your mom?” Dean asked as Alexander didn’t say anything playing with the rubber ducky from the tub. Alexander glanced at the bubbly water his mind started to wander.

_________________________________________________________________

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Two days before living with Castiel:**

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Lisa pounded on the door, Alexander and Abigail sat in the car watching her. The windows rolled down as Lisa continued to pound at the door. Castiel forced the door opened annoyed as he held his head from a hangover.

“What the fuck, Lisa, it’s not even ten yet,” Castiel mumbled looking at his watch. “What do you want?”

“I need five grand,” Lisa mumbled holding herself as Castiel scoffed loudly and obnoxiously at that.

“Good luck with that.” Castiel moved to close the door but Lisa shoved her foot in the door forcing it open.

“I _ need _ it.” Lisa snapped. 

“And I needed you to be there for me when my whole world came crashing down.” Castiel scoffed pissed. “That was _ less _ effort than five grand.” 

“Throwing that back in my face.” Lisa scoffed. “It’s been like five years. Get over it.”

“Get...Get over it.” Castiel scoffed taking a sip of his flask. “_ Fucking bitch, _” Lisa said nothing crossing her arms. 

“I need five grand. I know you have it. I need it.” Lisa commented. 

“Why the fuck would I give you five grand?” Castiel stated. Lisa shifted uncomfortably not looking him in the eye. “Is it for the kids?” 

“...Kinda?” Lisa hesitated but Castiel continued to stare at her. “Okay, so no, but I need it.” 

“Show me a bill that has anything to do with our children,” Castiel stated. “For five grand, and I’ll pay it.” 

“I need the money, you have tons of money! You won’t even notice it was gone-” Lisa begged. 

“Lisa, no.” Castiel snapped as Lisa got onto her knees trying to undue Castiel’s pants. 

“Please! I’ll do anything-” Lisa begged as Castiel shoved her back. She fell onto her butt, the hit wasn’t what bothered her...it was the disgusted pity in Castiel’s eyes. 

“...Lisa, get a hold of yourself. You’re embarrassing yourself.” Castiel pulled the robe close as Lisa swallowed in shame before standing. “...Why do you need money?”

“...I can’t say.” Lisa spoke, she wasn’t surprised when he scoffed and closed the door in her face. Lisa flinched at the door before she sighed turning to walk down the stairs to her car. She got in covering her mouth before she punched the steering wheel. “DAMN IT.” 

“Mommy?” Abigail asked as Lisa sniffed looking back at Abigail. “Are you okay?” 

“I’m fine, mommy...mommy is just sick. She will feel better soon.” Lisa breathed before she wiped her tears. She checked her glove compartment for some change, finding enough for five dollars. “Let’s get you guys some McDonalds.” Lisa pulled the car out and drove towards the McDonalds.

_________________________________________________________________________

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Now:**

  
  
  
  
  


Dean scrubbed his hair making a large number of bubbles on his head, Alexander would laugh when a whole pile of bubbles fell off his head. Dean chuckled as well, moving to grab the showerhead to clean out his hair.

“Close your eyes.” Dean cooed as Alexander covered his eyes. Dean cleaned his hair, before helping Alexander stand and washing off the rest of his body. Once Alexander was clean, Dean grabbed a towel wrapping around him and carried him tiredly into the bedroom. Castiel was sitting on the bed holding some clothes for the boy. Dean took them and helped Alexander get dressed. 

“I got the bed changed and started the laundry,” Castiel commented as Dean kissed him for a thank you. Once Alexander was dressed Dean picked him up. 

“Let’s get you back to bed.” Dean breathed tiredly but Castiel took over. 

“I don’t have to work in the morning,” Castiel spoke taking him. “Go back to sleep.” Dean moved to collapse onto the bed before Castiel walked Alexander back to his room tucking him in. Alexander grabbed Castiel’s hand before he could leave.

“Can you stay?” Alexander begged.

“...Sure.” Castiel agreed tiredly as Castiel climbed into bed with Alexander. Alexander felt his father hold him close as Alexander snuggled into the warmth soon falling asleep.

_________________________________________________________________________

  
  
  
  
  


**One day before living with Castiel:**

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Lisa held her twin’s hand as she walked across the street of a shady neighborhood, there was a man keeping watch in front of one of the old houses. He recognized Lisa, letting her in as Lisa walked into the house. The house was a bit trashed, it needed to be cleaned. There were a couple of young teenagers smoking weed and playing violent videogames. Lisa had her twins sit on the couch across from them. 

“Wait here,” Lisa commented. Alexander was used to these teens, they weren’t bad kids despite their drug dealings. They normally watched them when Lisa came to the house for a score. The teens offered Alexander and Abigail some Cheetos which the twins started to munch on, watching the teens shooting people out of a car in the videogame as loud music played somewhere in the house. 

“Alastair, please.” Lisa’s voice made Alexander turn to see her in the doorway of a bedroom, Alastair trying to walk past. “So I don’t have the money, but I need it. T-There’s got to be something I can offer you?”

“You have nothing I want,” Alastair commented eyeing her body with disgust walking into the living room, he stopped next to the twins ruffling their hair and stealing a Cheeto. Moving to sit on the couch next to the twins like he hadn’t just pointed a gun at them the day before. 

“I’ll give you anything,” Lisa begged as Alastair ignored her watching the game. “You can have my car, my apartment, my clothes. Whatever you want. I-I’ll even sell for you.” 

“Kids’ what is the rule I tell you about selling?” Alastair looked at Lisa as the teens answered.

“You don’t make a druggie a seller.” They spoke lazily.

“Why?” Alastair asked. 

“Because they will use it.” The teens spoke. 

“Then you would be out more money and product,” Alastair started waving her off. 

“Then what? What do you want from me?!” Lisa begged. 

“Anything?” Alastair commented.

“Anything,” Lisa stated as Alastair looked at the twins. 

“You guys want a soda?” Alastair asked sweetly as Abigail nodded. Alastair got up grabbing two cans from the fridge and offering it to the twins once opened. Lisa paused realizing what he was getting at. 

“No.” Lisa choked as she moved to her children. Both enjoying some soda. 

“You could rent them out to some gypsies for cons. They are cute. Twins are double the pay.” Alastair commented casually. 

“You want me to _ sell _my children.” Lisa snapped.

“More like lease out,” Alastair commented putting a Cuban cigar to his lips. 

“No. I refuse.” Lisa snapped as Abigail chomped on a Cheeto. “What if some creep-”

“Honestly, Lisa, you don’t have a choice,” Alastair commented ushering for the teens to pause the game. “You will repay your debt one way or another and I say this is how. Take the kids to your room. Make them comfortable.” 

The teens moved to pick up the twins, but Lisa panicked. 

“Wait! Wait! Okay!” Lisa stopped them moving to hold them. “...I-I will let you rent them out...but I ...I-I need to go back some things. They need some medications and some clothes. You want them to look good for sale right?” Alastair shrugged blowing out his cigarette smoke. 

“Alright, go pack them a bag and bring them back, if you don’t return. I’ll shoot you and then take the kids anyways,” Alastair started as Lisa nodded helping her children off the chair. She took them to the car, where she acted casually. It wasn’t until she was out of sight of them that she looked panicked and in fear. She drove wildly as she thought of what to do. She couldn’t sell her children. Even though Alastair didn’t necessarily put children in harm, he wouldn’t do a background check on these people. These shady people. Who could want the children for anything…. 

She needed to get them away, somewhere far away from this mess. She couldn’t just drop them off at Castiel’s or her mother’s. Alastair would just show up and take them. She needed eyes on them, someone Alastair wouldn’t dare mess with. Lisa pulled up to her house, leaving the kids in the car she packed anything she could fit in the bags, anything in their drawers into their new school bags. She filled them to the brim before running back down to the car. Abigail had fallen asleep on the ride as Alexander continued to watch Lisa. Lisa looked at the clock which read after midnight. Lisa rubbed her face trying to think of what would keep Alastair away as she drove around town. Lisa’s eyes found her answer on the sign of the firehouse, Safe places. Places people could just drop off their children when they couldn’t keep them. Cps would take the children. Cps. A government place that would keep an eye on the children for a very long time, even if they just ended up with their father. They would still check on them with a microscope. 

Lisa stopped the car, grabbing their bags and picking up both the tired children. Lisa walked into the firehouse from the open garage door. A couple of men paused what they were doing to look at her. 

“Ma’am, did you need something?” One man walked over to her as she offered the Abigail to him which he took hesitantly. 

“This is a safe place right? You guys just take them?” Lisa spoke as the other man walked over hesitantly taking Alexander from her. 

“Yes, but normally they aren’t this old.” The other man explained. 

“Well, I want to give them up. I want CPS to take them.” Lisa spoke. 

“Okay, but ma’am are you sure-” The man tried to talk to Lisa but she handed their birth certificate and other important items over. Lisa kissed both her children before ignoring the fireman and running to her car. Leaving the children in the arms of strangers, who held them close telling them it was going to be okay. Alexander continued to stare at the spot the car was till they were taken inside to wait for CPS.

  
  
  



	10. Sugar

Dean tiredly drank coffee as the kids chewed the breakfast Dean had made for them, enjoying the taste of french toast. Alexander was super excited for them since it was his day to pick what they ate for breakfast. 

“Mommy, Can I have some juice?” Abigail asked her face covered in syrup, Dean glanced at her tiredly before he smiled. 

“Sorry, I forgot to give you juice,” Dean admitted moving to the fridge to pull out some Tampico, pouring the juice for both kids. Abigail took a sip of her drink as Dean grabbed a napkin cleaning her face of syrup. She allowed him as she giggled drinking more of her juice. Castiel came out tiredly moving to take the medication that helped with the side effects of his quitting drinking. Castiel popped them into their mouth, before stealing Alexander’s juice to take his medication. Alexander giggled as Castiel offered the cup after his sip.

“Thanks for the drink.” Castiel kissed his twins, holding them close. He ruffled Sam’s hair who was half asleep eating his french toast. “Good, Sam?” 

“Mhm.” Sam tiredly mumbled. Castiel moved to Dean kissing him softly. 

“Morning,” Castiel mumbled to him as Dean kissed him back. “French toast?” Castiel turned taking his plate moving to eat next to Dean. 

“Alexander’s choice today. Tomorrow’s is Abigail’s choice.” Dean commented drinking some coffee.

“What did you want to eat tomorrow?” Castiel asked Abigail. 

“Donuts?” Abigail asked as Castiel shrugged. 

“Sure, I’ll pick some up tomorrow,” Castiel stated as Dean poured himself another cup of coffee. 

“Finish up, we got to get to school,” Dean commented. 

“Okay.” The twins beamed as Dean finished his breakfast.

“I’m getting a ride with a friend,” Sam commented. 

“Making friends already?” Dean beamed. 

“I knew you could do it.” Castiel cooed pulling Sam’s cheek as Sam lightly pushed him off.

“Shut up.” Sam laughed as Castiel beamed at him. 

“I’m done!” The twins beamed in unison, as Dean looked at his watch. 

“Okay, let’s go.” Dean grabbed their lunches as he kissed Sam and Castiel bye before they headed out the door. 

“Bye Sam, Bye dad!” The twins waved before leaving. 

“Bye.” Sam and Castiel called. Sam finished his plate just as someone knocked on the door. Sam put his plate in the sink moving to the door. 

“Ready?” The voice spoke as Castiel leaned away from the table to see who. Castiel recognized the kid from next door. He had seen him time and time again. 

“Yeah, bye Cas.” Sam waved closing the door, leaving Castiel alone. 

____________________________________________________________________________

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


“Castiel?” Michael’s voice snapped him out of his thoughts as he found himself staring at the alcohol fridge. Castiel blinked taken back realizing where he was. Michael looked at him concerned. “Don’t you have a meeting this morning?” Michael touched his shoulder with care. 

“T...That’s where I was going.” Castiel stated pulling his eyes away from the fridge. “Sorry, I must have been half asleep.” 

“It’s okay,” Michael reassured before he offered Castiel an Icee. Castiel took it sipping on it in desperation trying to fill the emptiness his addiction left behind. “...Come on, I’ll walk you to Haeven.” 

Castiel nodded holding himself as Michael turned to his coworker. Castiel wasn’t listening as Michael told his coworker he’d be right back. Michael walked with him towards Haeven which wasn’t too far from the convenience store. A couple blocks down. 

“How are you doing?” Michael asked as Castiel turned to him.

“I’m okay.” Castiel sucked at his Icee. “...Thanks for covering for me at Haeven the other day with Dean.”

“I know how hard it is to keep sober. I get it.” Michael stated with a shrug. “Especially when you have people you love trying to support you.”

“Have you ever…?” Castiel asked as Michael shook his head no. 

“I had a brother who was an addict,” Michael explained. “It was a hard journey for him when he tried to get clean.” 

“Did he succeed?” Castiel asked as Michael cringed at the comment turning away. 

“...He did. For a while.” Michael explained. “But…”

“He relapsed.” Castiel finished. 

“He was one of those struggling artists, you know? When he got his life together, he said he lost what gave his life meaning.” Michael slid his hand into his pocket protecting them from the cold. 

“Did he ever get clean again?” Castiel asked. 

“...I don’t know. I haven’t really seen him since he relapsed.” Michael stated. “His choice. I think he was ashamed he let me down...Last time I saw him, he gave me twenty dollars for my birthday and left.” 

“I’m sorry,” Castiel commented. 

“It’s not your fault.” Michael shrugged. “His choice. Nothing I could do more than I have. I just take what I get from him. He sees me every birthday. That’s enough for me.” 

“I’m surprised you have the patience for people like me.” Castiel pulled down his sleeves to the cold. 

“Why is that?” Michael asked. 

“Addictions nasty, addicts are nasty,” Castiel commented. 

“You’re all just humans. Humans make mistakes. People learn. People grow.” Michael shrugged. 

“How long have you and Lucifer been together?” Castiel asked as Michael seemed taken back by this smiling softly. 

“He didn’t ask me out till he was sober for five years exactly, so four months ago?” Michael admitted. “He tried to ask me out before, but I always refused. It’s not helpful to date the person you are trying to help heal. If it doesn’t work out they can relapse and get codependent…” Michael trailed off. “But he asked me, how I would say yes.” 

“What did you say?” Castiel asked. 

“Ask me five years sober,” Michael stated. “...and he did.”

“...When did you realize you liked each other?” Castiel asked as Michael shrugged. 

“I fell for him pretty early on, maybe a year in,” Michael commented. “Right after he started to be him again and visitation with his son started. He was just a beautiful soul. I found myself falling right into it.”

“What about him? When did he admit he liked you?” Castiel smiled as Michael blushed lighting up in the thought. 

“I don’t know when he fell for me, but two years and one month in, he asked if I would be opened to ‘Go for coffee’. I always thought it was weird because we always go for coffee. That’s how we started our morning, you know? We go to the coffee shop next door and drink morning coffee...but then I got it. When he dressed in a nice dress shirt to go.”

“Who said romance is dead?” Castiel chuckled as Michael laughed. 

“I have no idea, romance couldn’t possibly be dead with Lucifer around.” Michael snorted before he paused in front of Haeven. Castiel shivered looking up at the sign. “It’s going to be okay,” Michael commented. “You don’t have to talk if you don’t want to, you can just start by listening.”

“...Thanks, Michael.” Castiel rubbed his hands together before building the courage to walk in. Michael watched him go, watching as Castiel hesitantly sat in an empty seat before he walked back towards the store. 

_______________________________________________________________________

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Dean popped some pain relievers, his head was killing him. Dean rubbed the bridge of his nose, he pretty sure he was coming down with something. Dean has been clearing his throat which was a normal thing when he was getting sick. Dean heard open mouth chomping as he sat up pulling his hand away from his face seeing the twins and teddy sitting in their seats in front of his desk. 

“You okay, mommy?” Abigail commented as Dean nodded.

“I’m just not feeling well,” Dean admitted as Abigail held out a carrot to him. “It’s okay I’m not hungry.” Abigail pulled her carrot back chewing on her carrot herself. Dean reached into his desk for his coffee, taking a sip as the kids kept watching him. 

“Mr. W. isn’t a mommy.” Teddy giggled as the twins turned. 

“Yes, he is!” Abigail whined upset. 

“Teddy, It’s okay, they can call me anything. I’m just going to close my eyes for a second...” Dean laid back in his chair closing his eyes, Abigail watched him with worry before Dean was napping in his chair. They still had plenty of time so he could easily sleep a bit before class resumed. 

Abigail walked to her chair grabbing her coat placing it on Dean as he slept, Abigail looked at Dean concerned. 

“He’s okay, Abi,” Alexander stated as Abigail went back to her chair. “He’s just a little sick.” 

“Maybe an apple will help?” Teddy asked placing his apple slices on his desk in front of Dean. 

“Why?” Abigail asked as Teddy chewed on his sandwich. 

“I don’t know, old people do it.” Teddy shrugged as Abigail shrugged back. A knock on the door made the kids turn, a woman stood at the door wincing when she noticed Dean sleeping. 

“Sorry.” The woman spoke walking in. Alexander recognized her as the school therapist, the one Dean had got him into. Her name was Mrs. Rosen, but she went by Becky to the kids. She was nice. She normally collected him after lunch. Having conversations with him for half an hour always after lunch. “Alexander, want to come to have lunch with me today?” 

Alexander shrugged and went to walk over to her, normally she didn’t come to get him this early but he agreed. Becky left a note on Dean’s desk saying Alexander was with her before she took his hand and walked him out.

Alexander liked her office, it had a lot of toys, some sweets, and even had an iPad to play with. Becky let them do pretty much anything, mostly wanting them to get comfortable with her so they can start speaking. Alexander grabbed a dinosaur toy as Becky took a seat at the kid’s table in her office with him. Opening her lunch, she always had extra to offer to the other kids. Alexander stole a chip from a bag she offered him which she laughed with care brushing the hair out of her face.

“So, what’s new?” Becky asked as Alexander recoiled shrugging looking away. “...Still peeing the bed?” 

“Yeah,” Alexander admitted as Becky handed him a chip which he chewed on. 

“Did you remember why this time?” Becky asked as Alexander hesitantly nodded. “Did you draw it for me?” Alexander nodded since he couldn’t write Becky asked him to draw his dreams. 

She had bought him some drawing paper and some colored pencils which Alexander enjoyed. Alexander dug through his bag pulling out his drawing book before offering it to Becky. Becky smiled in a thank you before she opened the book. Becky asked Alexander to draw a picture at the end of the day to show his emotions for his favorite part of that day, and draw one in the morning for his dreams. 

Becky smiled at a picture of two adults cooking breakfast, in the drawing Alexander drew them throwing food at each other. 

“Did Mr. Winchester and your dad have a food fight?” Becky asked as Alexander lit up nodding. 

“Abigail threw toast at Daddy’s head, and Daddy thought it was Mama Dean.” Alexander giggled. “So he threw an egg at him.” 

“Did they make a mess?” Becky laughed.

“Ya.” Alexander giggled. Becky turned the page seeing a black page, a woman crying on the floor with a man with a black item in his hand. He looked so angry, her eyes slid down to the twin-stick figures in the corner crying. 

“Alexander…” Becky asked as Alexander’s face fell. “...Who is this?” Becky pointed to his mother on the floor. 

“...Mommy.” Alexander commented chewing on a cookie she had offered on her plate. 

“And is this you and Abigail?” Becky asked pointing to the twins in the corner.

“Yeah.” Alexander chewed on the sugar cookie. 

“...and this...who is this?” Becky asked. Alexander said nothing. Becky turned back to Dean and Castiel’s stick figures which looked different than the unknown man. It wasn’t them. 

“...That’s the bad man.” Alexander commented as Becky went back to the stick figure. 

“Tell me about the bad man,” Becky asked as Alexander took a bite of another cookie. “Has...the bad man hurt you?”

“No.” Alexander shook his head. “He was nice and stuff. He would give us food and stuff when mommy was with him. Let us play with his x-box.”

“So he was nice to you when you saw him,” Becky asked.

“He was always nice to us,” Alexander stated. “He was nice to the other kids too.” 

“Other kids?” Becky asked. 

“They lived there with him, I think.” Alexander shrugged. 

“What were their names?” Becky asked. 

“Joe and Ryan,” Alexander explained as Becky wrote it down. “They always shared their snacks and stuff.” 

“That’s nice of them,” Becky commented. “Do you know anything about them?”

“They liked my dinosaur toy,” Alexander explained but Becky sighed knowing there wasn’t a lot Alexander could say about them.

“Okay, Let’s talk about the bad man. Does he have a name?” Becky asked. 

“It’s a funny name.” Alexander scrunched his nose. 

“Okay.” Becky nodded. “So what would you do when you were around the bad man.” 

“He ordered us pizza once,” Alexander commented. 

“Pizza, yum.” Becky smiled softly. “What did you get?”

“Pepperani,” Alexander mumbled unable to say it. 

“That’s my favorite too,” Becky spoke. “So the bad man wasn’t bad to you.”

“No,” Alexander stated. 

“So why was he the bad man?” Becky asked. 

“...He hurt mommy a lot.” Alexander commented. “When she wouldn’t have money but wanted her treat.” 

“Her treat?” Becky asked. “What was her treat?” 

“Sugar,” Alexander stated with a shrug eating some cookies. 

“Did, she bake cookies with the  _ sugar _ ?” Becky asked. 

“No.” Alexander shook his head pointing to his arm poking himself with his finger. 

“She would put it in her arm?” Becky started as Alexander nodded as Becky started writing stuff down. “...So Alexander can...you tell me what this man is holding?” She pointed to an l-shaped item in his drawing the man was carrying. Alexander raised his hand pointing his pointer finger at her and his thumb up as Alexander started to make shooting noises. Becky nodded writing it down.

“Why was he so angry?” Becky asked. 

“Mommy owed him a ground.” Alexander started chewing on a new cookie. 

“A ground?” Becky asked confused as Alexander nodded. 

“This many.” Alexander held out his hand with five fingers. 

“Five grounds?” Becky asked trying to understand, Alexander nodded. 

“She didn’t have the money,” Alexander commented.

“Oh, five  _ grand. _ ” Becky realizes writing it down, She sighed looking at the drawing taking in any more details she wanted to ask about before she turned the page. The pictures in the day were so different from the ones from his nightmares. This one was a man laying down that looked like a couch. “What’s this one?”

“Oh, Sam fell asleep on the couch and we drew on him.” Alexander giggled lighting up. 

“Did you?” Becky laughed. “What did you draw?” 

“I drew a balloon!” Alexander snorted as Becky laughed. 

“What did he do when he noticed?” Becky asked. 

“He laughed.” Alexander giggled, Becky smiled listening to Alexander telling her all about the time he drew on Sam’s face. 

_____________________________________________________________________ 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Dean sneezed as he opened the door to the house, the twins walked in as Dean cleared his throat. Dean had bought them some fast food for the kids since he wasn’t feeling well to cook. Dean took off his coat and went to the medicine cabinet on the high shelf grabbing some Cold medication and taking it. 

“Feeling better?” Abigail asked as Dean gave her a soft smile.

“A bit.” Dean kicked off his shoes at the door before moving to the couch. He glanced around surprised Castiel wasn’t home, was he still in a meeting? “...Okay, you guys eat. I’m going to lay down in on the couch till someone can watch you.” 

“Can we go with you?” Alexander asked. 

“...Why don’t we just go to the bedroom, you guys can watch tv and I can nap.” Dean breathed picking up Abigail as Alexander follow holding his happy meal. Dean got them all set up on Castiel’s side of the bed before he crawled into his side and closed his eyes. It wasn’t long till he was breathing softly. 

Abigail finished her meal before she moved to lay next to Dean, Dean deep asleep didn’t notice as Abigail got under the covers relaxing to try to sleep too. Alexander turned off the tv to crawl into the blankets as well. Not minding a nap either, as the twins closed their eyes eventually falling asleep too.

______________________________________________________________________________

  
  
  
  
  
  


Castiel walked into the door chewing on some meals he had gotten from Haeven, he figured he could spare Dean making dinner. 

“Hello! I’m home!” Castiel called putting the bag of five meals onto the counter. “Dean?” Castiel walked around the house pausing when he noticed Dean and the twins fast asleep in the bed. Castiel smiled seeing Dean holding the twins close both on one side of him. Abigail sucking her thumb and Alexander holding Dean back. 

Castiel moved to close the door but...he noticed how pale Dean looked. Castiel walked over, looking concerned as he touched his skin. He had a fever. Castiel checked the children who seemed fine, Castiel softly woke the twins not wanting them to get sick. 

“Come eat, guys.” Castiel cooed to the twins who slowly woke and eventually pulled away from Dean’s warmth. 

“Hey, I’m home!” Sam called as Castiel turned walking out to see him. 

“I bought food, can you get the kids set up? Dean’s sick.” Castiel called as Sam nodded pulling food from the bag. Castiel returned to Dean who had opened his eyes. “Hey, sicky.” 

“Hey,” Dean mumbled tiredly. 

“How are you feeling?” Castiel asked.

“Like crap.” Dean sat up as Sam walked in handed Castiel Dean and his’s meal. Dean took it weakly. 

“You were coughing a bit last night,” Castiel commented. “I should have forced cough syrup down your throat.” Castiel took a seat next to him eating as Dean ate his own. 

“My hero,” Dean commented resting his head on Castiel’s arm. “How was the meeting?”

“Insightful.” Castiel nodded. “I met others like me. It was...nice.” 

“I’m glad.” Dean smiled as he took a bite of a fry.

“So how was school?” Castiel asked as Dean sighed. 

“Long since I was sick,” Dean commented. “But Becky stopped by after school and told me she was making great progress with Alexander.” 

“That’s good.” Castiel nodded. 

“She said she should be able to help with his bed wedding since they seem to be getting to the source of their problem,” Dean commented. 

“Good.” Castiel breathed in relief as Dean sighed tiredly. Castiel touched his forehead, kissing him. “Finish your meal and go to bed. I got the kids tonight.” 

“Alright,” Dean said without argument laying back down to sleep, Castiel stood to leave when Dean’s voice made him stop. “Love you.”

“...I love you too.” Castiel breathed his heart beating quickly. They never said I love you to each other...and now they said it so naturally. Castiel smiled to himself moving to close the door as Dean slept off his cold. 


	11. Sick in bed

Dean opened his eyes tiredly, staying home because he was sick it was better. Dean moaned as he woke up feeling someone tucking him in. 

“Hey, how are you feeling?” Castiel asked feeling his head.

“Better.” Dean breathed as Castiel smiled. 

“I’m glad the medicine helped, you don’t have a fever anymore,” Castiel commented sitting on the bed next to him. 

“How long have I been out?” Dean asked. 

“Well, you slept all day,” Castiel answered. “Lucifer took the twins after school and Sam is staying late at school to study.”

“So we are home alone?” Dean mumbled as Castiel nodded. “You know what that means?” Castiel smirked. 

“...Junk food and r-rated films?” Castiel breathed as Dean nodded happily turning to lay on his side. 

“Read my mind.” Dean hummed as Castiel kissed moving to hold him close. 

“Thanks for being in my life.” Castiel breathed. 

“Thanks for being in mine.” Dean laughed as Castiel kissed his forehead. 

“Stay in bed, I want to spoil you.” Castiel kissed his hands as Dean laughed softly coughing away from him when Castiel let go. “Awe, my little sick man.” 

“Fuck off.” Dean laughed coughing again, Castiel got up moving to grab his keys. 

“I’ll get food, You rest.” Castiel beamed as Dean gave him a thumbs up before closing his eyes to sleep. Castiel watched him close his eyes before he turned to leave. “Love you.”

“Love you too,” Dean mumbled started to drift, Castiel smiled moving to leave out the door. 

______________________________________________________________________________

  
  
  
  
  


Castiel walked through the convenience store, his eyes eyeing the cold medication options. Before picking the one with the most options to cure. Castiel tossed it into a small hand basket before he walked around for other items for Dean. Dean liked cherry coke, Dean liked Reeses, and Dean liked Doritos. 

“Cas?” Michael’s voice snapped Castiel from his thoughts, he was standing in line holding his stuff. Michael looked at him confused as Castiel smiled walking up. 

“Hey, Michael.” Castiel placed the things onto the counter. “Just getting things for the house, Dean and I have a date night planned but the poor fucker has a cold-.” 

“...And the vodka is for the cold?” Michael asked as Castiel paused. Glancing down at the items of sweets and soda was the cold vodka glass bottle. Castiel sucked in air, not realizing he had. 

“I didn’t realize I-I…” Castiel commented as Michael took the bottle away.

“It’s a habit. It’s okay.” Michael offered him a cup for an Icee. Castiel took immediately to fill up sucking on his Icee, the taste of frozen sugar. Michael touched his back with care calming him down. “Just drink, drink and breathe.” 

Castiel sucked the icee like it was his lifeline before he started to get a brain freeze. Castiel panted in the middle of a panic attack. 

“Breathe,” Michael reassured till Castiel calmed down. 

“W-Why do you keep giving me icees...when I do stuff like this.” Castiel panted. 

“It’s a way I helped Lucifer substitution,” Michael explained. “When you are reaching for a bottle, I will get you in the habit of reaching for something else,” Michael spoke rubbing his back as Castiel calmed down. “...Feeling better?” Castiel nodded.

“I really don’t remember grabbing it,” Castiel whispered. 

“It was a reflex, you were lost in thought and your mind too over,” Michael started rubbing his back. “It’s okay.” 

“I-I thought I was doing so good,” Castiel whispered.

“You are.” Michael breathed hugging him. “You  _ so _ are. I mean, Look at you. You almost a month ago would have drunk that. However, you didn’t, did you?”

“N-No but-” Castiel whimpered but Michael hugged him.

“No buts. I’m proud of you.” Michael spoke as Castiel hugged him back. “Now, Dean is sick and waiting for his night in shining armor. Now, pull it together and go home, Castiel.” Michael teased. 

Castiel sniffed feeling a bit better as Castiel went to fill up his icee one more time to Michael’s delight, ringing him up for the stuff he wanted. Michael ready hid the vodka from him as Castiel took what he needed. Michael gave another icee and Castiel’s on the house, in hopes to make Dean feel better. Michael helped Castiel load everything into the car before sending Castiel off with a wave. 

___________________________________________________________________

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Dean sat up feeling the cold icee against his neck, it felt nice. Dean opened his eyes looking up at Castiel who smiled at him with care. 

“Michael said he hoped this helped,” Castiel commented as Dean sat up taking the icee from Castiel’s hand and instantly sucking at the cool frost. 

“Mmm.” Dean sucked happily leaning against Castiel once he laid down on the bed. Dean sucking the Cherry icee looking up at him innocently. “How did you know I loved the cherry icees?”

“You love everything cherry.” Castiel chuckled sucking on his own as they laid in the silence of their comfort. “I got you all the sweets I could muster you eating without vomiting.” Dean moved to check the bag from the convenience store also pulling out the medication Castiel got him. 

“Thank you.” Dean hummed moving to kiss Castiel. Castiel happily kissed back before playfully shoving his face away. 

“Germs.” Castiel teased as Dean grabbed his icee to chug down the medication, Castiel watched him with ease. How this man, this once stranger, was now his best friend and now his lover. 

“What do you want to watch?” Castiel asked grabbed the remote and holding Dean close. Dean was a lot more clingy when he was sick and...Castiel really liked it. Dean nuzzled into him holding him as he drank his icee. Castiel lovingly played with his hair as he waited for Dean to respond. 

“Something manly like  _ hunting or fishing, _ ” Dean commented as Castiel chuckled. 

“Something totally _ no homo _ ?” Castiel teased.

“Yeah, definitely something to show we are _ super straight bros _ .” Dean snuggled into him, his legs tangling with Castiel’s.

“Oh, so I see.” Castiel nodded. “Something to show how manly we are?” 

“Exactly,” Dean commented rubbing circles on his chest, only to stop drinking his icee every so often. 

“So you want to watch  _ Doctor Sexy _ ?” Castiel commented. Choosing a show that was the total opposite of  _ No homo super straight bros tv. _

_ “Duh _ .” Dean breathed tiredly nuzzling him, Castiel chuckled moving to hold Dean closer, kissing Dean’s head with love just so grateful to have him in his arms. 

“Doctor Sexy, it is,” Castiel whispered putting on Netflix to the first Season. Dean and him enjoyed the snacks and treats Castiel had bought for them. Dean mostly kept falling asleep every other episode but when he didn’t, he would talk to Castiel about the show like Castiel hadn’t just watched the episode or was in the middle of it. 

Castiel didn’t mind and despite the show not being his favorite thing...Dean was his favorite thing. Learning about Dean in their day to day was his favorite thing. Watching Dean sleep from his cold or wake up to something from the episode’s noise that he would ramble on and on about. 

Dean was his favorite thing.

“It’s so sad…” Dean mumbled half-awake as Castiel paused. “This episode always gets me.”

“Oh yeah?” Castiel asked half invested in the show and more invested in the man in his arms. 

“When I watched it for the first time I bawled my eyes out,” Dean admitted as Castiel played with his hair. 

“What’s this episode about?” Castiel asked. 

“It’s not really about the episode itself...it was the side characters. It’s about a mother who is in the hospital and every day her kids come to visit her, It shows her as a sweet and loving mom.” Dean commented sadly. “But it turns out the kids were just caused by a tumor in her head.” 

Castiel glanced at the screen, seeing the woman talking to her children in the back sometimes doctor sexy would come in and talk to her, or you would see her in the background. They were just living their lives, in the background of this comedy-drama medical show. 

“I think I cried for eight hours straight when I saw it,” Dean stated. “I think it was because of how my own mother was sick...but even when the woman was dying of brain cancer...she was so wonderful.” Dean choked up as Castiel held him. “That my mother didn’t have a fucking tumor in her brain to be cruel.”

“Dean?” Castiel whispered as Dean sobbed in his weak state of a bad cold, normally he never talked about her but in his weakness. Castiel pulled him close, holding him nuzzling him. Castiel rocked him with so much love and care.

“I just don’t understand, this woman died loving the fake children in her head. My mom didn’t have a big tumor in her brain, my mom wasn’t sick. She wanted people to care about her. To spoil her, to give her all the attention...My mom never wanted to die for it...but she was okay in killing her children to get it.” Dean tensed at the confession burying his face. 

“Dean, she was sick,” Castiel whispered. “But her being sick doesn’t make it better.” Castiel pet Dean’s hair. “I am so sorry, Dean. You and Sam deserved better…I won’t  _ ever  _ let someone hurt you guys again.” Dean whimpered at those words and continued to cry. Castiel kissed his tears and held him till he had cried every tear he had. He almost objected when Dean pulled away from his chest sitting on his knees.

“I’m sorry ruined date night. I just get...super emotional when I’m sick.” Dean sniffed looking more like a child trying not to get in trouble for something they did.

“No, Dean.” Castiel breathed moving to wipe his tears. “Never apologize...I...I really love you, Dean. ” Castiel kissed him before he offered Dean a candy, which Dean opened his mouth to it before he was nuzzled back into Castiel’s embrace. “Never be ashamed to tell me anything, I will always be here to listen.”

“...” Dean said nothing for a long time before he sniffed and spoke softly. “...It’s called Munchausen by proxy...It started when my dad died. You know, when someone dies you take care of the widower...My mom liked it. So much so...when after no one cared anymore about him being dead anymore...She started to...fake illnesses for us. Keep us home from school.” 

“But...when that didn’t work. She started to make you sick.” Castiel whispered. 

“It’s hard to fake things for long. So she started doing what she needed to, to get her attention.” Dean sniffed holding Castiel. “It started with making us swallowing things like pennies and thumbtacks...then it wasn’t.” Castiel hugged him from behind kissing his head. Dean didn’t continue as Castiel pulled him closer holding him. Just letting the silence fill the room, Castiel had read all the articles he could about Mary, it was so hard hearing it from him from first hand...Dean and Sam deserved so much better.

He didn’t relax till Dean did, tending to him to soothe the pain. Soon Dean was laying relaxed against him, once again watching Doctor Sexy. Castiel running his fingers through his hair. He felt like that burden seemed to be lifted from Dean’s shoulders. 

“How are you feeling?” Castiel asked when Dean moved to take any other bite off another piece of candy. 

“Better,” Dean commented taking another go of medication. 

“Good.” Castiel beamed as Dean laid next to Castiel looking at him, it was Castiel who leaned in first kissing him. Dean kissed back with care. 

“You’re going to get sick.” Dean broke the kiss as Castiel beamed. 

“I don’t care.” Castiel hummed pulling back into a deep kiss, Dean moaned moving to kiss him back. 

_____________________________________________________________________

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Sam laid on Gabriel’s bed as Gabriel smoked next to him, Sam took the cigarette from his hands when offered placing it to his lips. They had finished their homework, so he didn’t lie to Castiel when he said he was staying late to work on his school work. He was laying next to Gabriel who had lazily rubbed his hands up and down his own chest. Sam sat there just stared at the ceiling. 

“Hey, can I kiss you?” Gabriel’s voice made Sam turn to look at him, Sam blew smoke out of his lips as he hesitantly nodded. Gabriel took a cigarette from his hand holding it away from them as he moved towards Sam’s lips. He eyed his lips before he pressed his lips to Sam’s. Sam closed his eyes tasting the taste of cigarettes on his lips. Sam kissed back easily, feeling Gabriel’s free hand moving to cup Sam’s face. Sam moaned back at the soft feel of Gabriel’s hand against his face. 

He liked the touch of Gabriel’s fingers against the skin, Sam kissed him back feeling his lips moved against Gabriel’s in slow touches. Sam was the first to open his mouth to Gabriel’s touch, Sam’s tongue touched Gabriel’s earning a moan from Gabriel. The kisses remained a slow and easy make out session. Which Sam was happy to just continue the soft kisses. It wasn’t till the sound of Gabriel’s mother coming home made him pull away. 

“Did you want to stay for dinner?” Gabriel asked pushing his cigarette into his ashtray as Sam smiled. 

“Are you all ready introducing me to your family?” Sam teased as Gabriel pulled away to toss on a shirt. “We aren’t even officially dating.”

“What can I say, I move too fast.” Gabriel winked at him, Sam laughed as Gabriel spray himself of body spray to hide the smell before walking down his stairs to the kitchen. Sam’s eyes fell onto Gabriel’s mother who was a beautiful blonde woman. Her hair in a messy bun, she was on the phone holding a large pizza. She was talking about an animal that needed a certain about of medication and hadn’t noticed them yet.

“Yes, just a couple more tonight and I think he will be able to be taken off the medication.” Gabriel’s mom spoke. “...Okay, call me if you need anything, bye.” She hung up moving to open the pizza box.

“Hey, mom,” Gabriel spoke stealing a paper plate. Gabriel’s voice made her turn when she paused. 

“Hey, baby.” She spoke noticing Sam. “Oh, you must be Sam.” She went to shake his hand. Sam blushed at her realizing who he was. “Gabriel talks about you all the time.” 

“Mom.” Gabriel blushed as she laughed. 

“I’m Joanna, you can call me Jo.” Jo started as Sam smiled. 

“Nice to meet you, Jo,” Sam commented as Jo turned grabbed herself a slice.

“Mom, can Sam stay for dinner?” Gabriel asked already handing Sam a plate. Jo was already taking a bite of her pizza, she gave them a thumbs up since her mouth was full of pizza. Gabriel handed her a plate placing the pizza she was holding on a plate. 

“Yeah, of course,” Jo spoke once she swallowed. When Bobby came out of the bedroom, he had a cane he happily chuckled.

“Finally, some pizza,” Bobby commented as Jo sighed. 

“Daddy, I was going to bring you some,” Jo stated worriedly about him as he held the table. 

“I broke a hip, not a brain cell. I can walk.” Bobby waved her off helping himself to a slice. “My hips fine once they get going.”

“Yeah, mom. His hips don’t lie.” Gabriel snorted, Jo gave him a look laughing. Sam watched the family interact. Sam moving to eat his own slice of Pizza as Bobby moved back towards the room with his slices. Joanna grabbed her slices and moved towards the living room to eat. She kicked off her shoes and moved to watch something on Netflix.

Gabriel grabbed them both a few more slices before ushering upstairs. Sam followed him back upstairs which Gabriel happily plopped back onto the bed. 

“What time does your brother expect you home?” Gabriel asked. 

“Not sure, My brother’s boyfriend told me it was okay. I told him I was going to be home late.” Sam shrugged. 

“Too bad, I’d love you to spend the night,” Gabriel commented innocently touching Sam’s thigh. 

“I think you’d love for me to do more than spend the night,” Sam commented chewing on his pizza. 

“I have a feeling you wouldn’t mind more than spending the night either,” Gabriel commented as Sam shrugged innocently. Gabriel eyed his face before he laughed chewing on Pizza. “You’re cute. You know, I think we’re a lot alike.”

“Do you?” Sam asked as Gabriel nodded chewing on his slice. 

“I think you are an open book,” Gabriel commented. “It’s not complicated. I can tell you like me, I like you. I think you aren’t sure what you’re looking for but are open to whatever. If it grows into something cool, if it doesn’t...cool.” 

“Why do you think that?” Sam asked amused as Sam took a cigar from Gabriel’s side table, putting it to his lips he lit it. Gabriel watched Sam blew out smoke as Gabriel took another chomp on his pizza. 

“Because you know things aren’t meant for forever,” Gabriel commented. “You want to live in the now.”

“Maybe I like just thinking about now,” Sam stated placing a cigarette to Gabriel’s lips who took it happily, laying back in bed. “The future is too far away to think about it and the past should be forgotten. So why not just like the now.” 

“You know, I really do like thinking of the now.” Gabriel admitted before he smiled at Sam. “...and I like that my now slows down with you here.” 

“...I like that too.” Sam breathed their lips met again in easy slow kisses, Gabriel not taking it any farther with Sam nor was he trying to. He pulled back to snack on his pizza wiggling his eyebrows at him. Sam smiled moving to eat his own. Sam’s phone vibrated in his pocket as he reached for his third slice of pizza. Sam groaned moving to check his phone. “My brother’s looking for me.” Sam got up. “I got to go.” 

“I’ll see you later?” Gabriel teased as Sam moved to give him a soft kiss. 

“I’ll see you later.” Sam hummed walking to the window. Instead of walking out the front door like last time he climbed out the window and towards his own, luckily leaving it open for such a retreat. Gabriel laughed at his exit as Gabriel put out the cigarette and moved to take a shower.

  
  


_____________________________________________________________________

  
  
  
  
  
  


Sam licked his lips missing Gabriel against his own as Sam closed the window. Sam grabbed clean clothes to hide the scent of cigarettes on him. Sam moved to the bathroom changing into his pajamas before walking downstairs. Castiel was in the kitchen which got his attention. 

“Hey, I didn’t notice you came in,” Castiel commented. 

“Yeah, I was just studying next door. So I snuck in.” Sam explained moving to pour himself some juice. 

“He smokes? You smell of cigarettes.” Castiel commented as Sam blushed, he thought he had hidden it well. 

“Um.” Sam was taken back, he didn’t know what to say to cover it up.

“Dean’s got a cold. He can’t smell.” Castiel sighed, not wanting to be hard on him. “But you really shouldn’t be smoking. Dean will kill both of us.”

“I-I’m not.” Sam choked in his lie, Castiel pulled out a chair and ushered for him to sit. Sam sighed and took a seat knowing he was busted.

“I know I’m not anyone to you, but I know...friends can be pressuring when it comes to drugs.” Castiel took a seat next to him offering him some Ice cream he was serving for Dean and himself. 

“He didn’t pressure me,” Sam mumbled. 

“But he smokes and you like him,” Castiel commented. 

“Look, I sometimes just share one with him, I don’t...I don’t smoke.” Sam shrugged taking a bite of ice cream. 

“Well, your bum smoking makes you smell like ash.” Castiel chuckled as Sam shrugged. “Dean will kill you when he finds out.” 

“I know,” Sam whispered. 

“...So who is the boy?” Castiel elbowed him as Sam blushed.

“His...His name is Gabriel.” Sam blushed harder. “He’s really nice, I like him…”

“He’d be nicer if he quit smoking,” Castiel commented. “It’s a nasty habit.”

“I get it, I won’t smoke again.” Sam blushed to push the hair out of his face. 

“Good,” Castiel commented chewing on his ice cream, ruffling his hair. Sam smiled chucking to himself as Dean came out of the bedroom. “Hey, you shouldn’t be walking around.” Castiel waved him off but Dean came in anyways. Dean kissed him softly before moving to the fridge grabbing stuff to make a sandwich. “I’ll make it, you germ spreader.” 

“You don’t make it right,” Dean commented already eating some bread. Castiel rolled his eyes. 

“It’s like mayonnaise and mustard.” Castiel scoffed as Dean mumbled some sort of comeback behind the bread. Sam laughed at their petty argument, that was still going on behind him as Castiel tried to make it. 

“You guys are like an old married couple,” Sam commented taking the ice cream. Dean was pouting holding the meat away from Castiel, as Castiel tried to coax it away from him like he was a child. Dean continuously argued until Castiel pulled him into a loving hug. A laugh from Dean made him give up the holy sandwich pieces. Sam watched him give up the pieces and let Castiel started to make the food. 

“Want one?” Castiel offered but Sam shook his head no. 

“I just came for the ice cream,” Sam spoke as Dean pulled him close into a big hug. 

“I love you, baby brother,” Dean whined as Sam pulled away whining. 

“Gross, you are sick!” Sam pulled away as Dean whined for attention which Castiel gave. Sam watched them for a moment before he walked away, leaving the love birds alone. 


	12. Abigail's blanket

Abigail woke to notice though Teddy was sleeping next to her on the pull out couch...her brother was not. Abigail knew it was late and he shouldn’t be up, so she stood trying to locate her brother. She was scared. Where could he have gone? She walked around every area of the house, checking each bedroom. She went into the bathroom on the first floor, turning on the light she noticed her brother sleeping in the tub. Abigail relaxed the fear gone from her body as she moved to him. 

“Alex?” Abigail whispered waking her sleeping brother who blinked tiredly at her. “What are you doing sleeping in there?” Abigail took a seat on the floor next to him. 

“...It’s in case I pee.” Alexander whispered back. 

“Daddy got you pull-ups,” Abigail whispered. 

“But I pee through sometimes,” Alexander mumbled. “It’s safer in here, I don’t want anyone to know.” 

“But aren’t you cold?” Abigail asked as Alexander shrugged. “Do you want a blanket?”

“I don’t want to pee on them,” Alexander whispered ashamed as Abigail got up grabbing the baby blanket that she always slept with, she came in placing it on him. 

“Abi. I don’t-” Alexander tried. 

“It’s okay.” Abigail smiled at her twin before she got up. “Good night.” 

“Good night,” Alexander whispered. Abigail closed the door to the bathroom before she grabbed her sleeping bag and moved it in front of the bathroom. To guard her brother inside, so no one would walk in if he accidentally did pee through his pull up. She kept their bag close in case he needed a change of clothes. Abigail closed her eyes till she fell fast asleep. 

________________________________________________________________________

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Many years ago:**

  
  
  
  
  


Castiel scooped up Abigail who squealed and laughed. Castiel nursing his braced ankle as he tossed her up into the air playfully. Abigail always felt like she could fly when he did this with her. She dreamed of flying. Castiel took a step and his ankle give at the movement but he still managed to catch the toddler before she hit the ground. 

“Careful. You’re still recovering.” A voice made him turn to see Lisa smiling at them. Castiel gave her a soft smile. Though they weren’t lovers any longer, they were trying to be friends for the kids. 

“I’ll be okay.” Castiel limped over to take a seat setting Abigail down on the picnic blanket. Abigail crawled to be on his lap as Castiel iced his ankle. 

“How many more surgeries do you have left?” Lisa asked taking a seat scooping up Alexander who was sucking on a pacifier. 

“Two,” Castiel stated as he rubbed Abigail’s back. 

“They should have you back on the ice in no time,” Abigail commented but Castiel glared looking away from her. 

“I won’t be able to ice skate again,” Castiel commented harshly.

“You’re being dramatic.” Lisa sighed annoyed crossing her arms. The being friends thing...wasn’t going so well. 

“Sorry, I care about my life.” Castiel snapped. “The life that pays for your clothes and house.” 

“Don’t throw that on me-” Lisa snapped back but he put a hand up. 

“I don’t want to fight,” Castiel commented harshly moving to drink some Vodka from his water bottle.

“Of course you don’t, so just suck on your vodka, like no one knows your an alcoholic.” Lisa chuckled to herself with a scoff. They sat in silence as the twins continued to play in their parents’ arms. Castiel said nothing for a long time. “Maybe if you’d get your shit back together and go back to ice skating we can be a family-”

“Don’t you dare.” Castiel spat viciously. “You never cared about me. You just cared how much I could give you.” 

“I  _ like _ money.” Lisa scoffed. “You  _ know _ that but I liked you too. For god sakes, I had your children.” 

“I don’t remember having unprotective sex, Lisa,” Castiel commented. 

“What’s that’s supposed to mean?” Lisa crossed her arms. 

“Nothing, I just think I was a good thing till the money stopped coming in.” Castiel shrugged. “Can we just be honest with each other. We  _ never _ loved each other. I was an Olympic ice skater and you were an ex hooters waitress slash call girl.”

“So maybe we didn’t. Maybe we  _ were  _ just convenient for each other for the moment.” Lisa snapped. “But I did not trap you, and I never gave you the impression you were my prince charming, here to sweep me off my feet. You  _ knew  _ you didn’t love me. I was your little arm candy with the nice butt to show your status, and you were my blank check. We just worked and that was good enough. Let’s just call our relationship what it was.”

Castiel didn’t say anything as Lisa looked at him for a long time, Castiel brushed a hand through his hair. 

“I just want us to work enough again, but not for us. For them.” Lisa ushered to the children as Castiel nodded.

“I agree.” Castiel breathed looking down at Abigail. “...For an ex hooters employee, we do make cute kids.”

“Hush.” Lisa snorted shoving him as her phone rang. Lisa put Alexander down before she stood moving away to answer the phone. “Hello?”

“Lisa, it’s Meg from Honey maids,” Meg spoke through the phone. Lisa smiled. 

“Hey. What’s up?” Lisa asked. 

“I have a date lined up for you, he’s very interested in meeting you. He makes good money and he’s looking for some eye candy for a party tonight.” Meg commented as Lisa slid her free hand into her back pocket. 

“Cool. Cool. I’m totally in.” Lisa commented as Meg told her the details. Castiel watched her from the picnic blanket, there was something bittersweet about seeing Lisa after all this. He didn’t love her, it was true...but the feeling of losing Lisa...made him feel he did lose everything. 

Lisa was a hustler and he knew that getting her. Meeting after a celebration of the previous Olympics, where they had won. There was a party held, and she was there. One of the hired girls at the party. She picked him because he had pretty much got them the metal. He wanted her because...everyone wanted her. Coming from nothing, he wanted the best. The best house, the best skates, the best trainers, the best team, the best care...and the best lover. Lisa being his was made out of two selfish reasons. Hers and his. 

Now, these two selfish people had two reasons not to be selfish.

Castiel touched his daughter’s face, she looked so much like him. So did Alexander. 

“Hey, Cas. Can you take the little ones tonight?” Lisa came back sitting on the picnic table.

“Why, you have a date?” Castiel commented, not judging. He just knew her well enough to know she was finding her next leg up. He wouldn’t be surprised if he became the next queen of something at this rate. She beamed at him.

“I’ll buy your next to bottles of vodka.” Lisa put her hands together begging with a pout. This was how she got a six thousand dollar purse from him while they were dating.

“Okay,” Castiel stated with a sigh. Lisa squealed as she kissed her babies happily. She even grabbed Castiel’s face smashing his face against hers dramatically nuzzling him. He laughed shoving her off. 

“Mommy loves you!” Lisa commented as she grabbed her purse walking away. She waved as Castiel sighed laying back holding his twins close. He was going to have to call for an Uber to pick them up since he was more than tipsy. 

____________________________________________________________________

  
  
  
  
  


**Now**

  
  
  
  
  


Abigail was woken up by a soft touch to her shoulder, Michael was there looking concerned as to why a child had chosen to sleep on the ice-cold tile floor instead of in the bed. It was still late at night and Michael must have gone downstairs for water when he noticed her. 

“Hey, sweetie. You’re so cold.” Michael commented touching her Ice cold hands. 

“I’m okay,” Abigail commented her fingers melted into the warmth of his hands. 

“Why are you sleeping out here?” Michael asked concerned touching her forehead. 

“...Because...you can’t go in.” Abigail moved to cover the space of the door of the bathroom. Michael blinked taken back. 

“...Is Alexander in there?” Michael asked taking her off guard as he simply moved to open the door. 

“Wait-” Abigail commented trying to stop him but Michael had gone in turning on the light. Alexander was sleeping in the bathtub, deep asleep. Michael noticed the wet spot on the child’s pants meaning it had leaked through his pull up. Michael looked down at Abigail who just blinked up at him. 

“Can you go get me that extra pull up Cas brought with you and some Pajamas?” Michael asked nicely. Abigail hesitated but went to listen as Michael lightly woke up Alexander who was half awake by the touch. “Alex, you peed, I got to change you. Sit up.” Michael whispered. Alexander listened despite being half asleep. Abigail returned with the items, Michael smiled at her before helping the sleeping boy change. 

Michael cleaned him up with a baby wipe before he slid back on another pull-up and got him back into Pajamas. Michael picked him up once he was all dressed and cleaned up carrying him back to the pull out bed with Teddy. Abigail watched him take Alexander away, she went to follow him but remembered her blanket in the tub. Abigail moved to get it but...it was obvious it was wet with pee. 

“I can wash that for you.” Michael’s voice made her turn, Abigail turned shyly. “Come on, Abi. Let’s get that and Alexander’s clothes in the wash.” He offered her his hand. She took it as he led her to the washing machine. He got it in the washing machine before he sighed looking at her as she lazily looked down at her feet. “...Want ice cream?” 

“...Yeah.” Abigail beamed happily as Michael took her to the kitchen. He helped her onto the stool before he pulled out two popsicles. 

“Red or blue?” Michael asked. 

“Mmm. Red.” Abigail smiled as she held out her hand taking the Popsicle. She started to happily suck the red popsicle as Michael leaned against the counter enjoying his own. 

“Don’t tell ted. I hid these in the ice compartment so he doesn’t know I have them.” Michael spoke as Abigail nodded giggling. “Castiel told me that was your favorite blanket...Why did you let him sleep with it when you knew the risk?” 

“Because he would cold,” Abigail stated. 

“Even if he might pee on it?” Michael asked as Abigail nodded. 

“It’s okay,” Abigail stated. “He needed it more than me.”

“...You are a great sister, Abi.” Michael commented. Abigail shrugged. “...Can I just say your blanket is very interesting-”

“It’s a fox,” Abigail retorted giving him an annoyed look like she got that comment a lot. 

“Ah,” Michael stated not sure what that design was. 

“My mom made it for me,” Abigail stated. “She’s not good at sewing.” 

“Do you like foxes?” Michael asked. 

“Yeah.” Abigail shrugged. “My mom and I saw one once.” 

“Did you?” Michael laughed. 

“Mommy used to let us camp in the backyard.” Abigail beamed. “It was so cool. We got to see it up close when it ate cat food we put outside. We had a window in our tent and we got to watch till bedtime. My mom promised we would do it before she left.” Abigail commented with a sad shrug. “She kept saying another time. Now it won’t…” It was quiet for a long time as Abigail fought the tears in her eyes.

“Maybe you guys can do that sometimes when it’s not winter. We can set it up. We got a big backyard.” Michael offered but Abigail shrugged sadly. Michael walked over softly placing his hand on her head. “...It’s okay...you know?” 

“Wha...What is?” Abigail asked confused. 

“To miss your mom...even if you hate her.” Michael offered as tears filled her eyes pouring down her cheeks. Michael softly pulled her into a hug as she sobbed herself out. Crying into his shirt as she covered her face. 

“I hate her.” Abigail wailed. “I hated her.” Michael could hear every breath gasping from her shaking body as he could only hold her.

___________________________________________________________________________

  
  
  
  
  
  


**Many years ago:**

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Castiel held Abigail in his arms holding her as he rocked to calm her crying, she had fallen and the little booboo to her hands was the worst thing ever in this three-year-olds life. Her whole body shook as she sobbed her heart out. Castiel rubbed her back trying to calm her when a loud obnoxious knock on the door made him turn. Castiel looked at his watch, It was early in the morning, even for Lisa’s standards. Castiel moved to the door opening it as Lisa tumbled in laughing with a man’s arms around her waist. 

“Lisa?” Castiel asked confused as Lisa stumbled towards him cupping Abigail’s cheek. 

“Cassie!” Lisa laughed as her friend stumbled towards Castiel’s fridge helping himself to the vodka inside. “I have come for the babes!” 

“Are...you drunk?” Castiel asked annoyed and concerned. 

“No. I only had a couple of drinks.” Lisa beamed trying to take Abigail but Castiel took a step back. 

“You on something?” Castiel asked pissed as Lisa looked taken back shooting him an annoyed look. 

“Like you’re one to judge.” Lisa scoffed stumbling towards the couch as the man moved to take a seat next to her. 

“You’re on something!” Castiel snapped grabbing her face. “Your pupils are dilated.”

“It was a party. It was just a social thing.” Lisa waved him off. “Right, Alastair?” Lisa turned to him touching his knee. 

“Yeah.” He mumbled drinking the last bit of vodka. 

“...Who is he?” Castiel scoffed.

“He’s my date.” Lisa beamed. “He’s an  _ entrepreneur _ .” Lisa flirted towards Alastair who beamed back at her.

“Yeah, you can both go.” Castiel snapped moving to the door.

“You said to come to get the kids first thing.” Lisa chuckled. “But I missed them and wanted to hold them.”

“Yeah, the next morning when you were sober, not when you were taking a pit stop before taking him home to bang.” Castiel hissed. “And drugs? Lisa, what the hell are you thinking?!”

“I’m not an addict unlike you. This was a one-time thing and I’m pretty much sober now. I can be an adult and do adult things. While raising children at the same time unlike you.” Lisa snapped crossing her arms. “I get up and care for our children every day while you sit at home drinking your life away, I hustle.”

“Lisa, this is a dangerous road. You never had to do drugs to have fun before.” Castiel stated. 

“It’s just a little molly and that never hurt anyone.” Lisa rolled her eyes. “I only came to say goodnight to them,” Lisa stated moving to Abigail she kissed her forehead.

“Go, say goodnight.” Castiel sighed in defeat as Lisa said goodnight to her children. Lisa moved to the door as her date followed. Her date left first towards the door grabbing her ass as she laughed moving to follow when Castiel’s voice stopped her. “Promise me this is a one-time thing.”

“We went to a club, it was just a social setting. One time. I swear.” Lisa offered which calmed Castiel. 

“Good,” Castiel stated as he breathed out in relief. 

“Relieved?” Lisa asked as Castiel nodded. “Now wish me luck, this guy is loaded, he’s nice and he likes kids.”

“Looked like a keeper.” Castiel scoffed sarcastically.

“So did you.” Lisa shrugged as Castiel rolled his eyes at her. “He’s just drunk. He’s a nice guy.” 

“Not on Molly?” Castiel asked curiously.

“No, he doesn’t do drugs,” Lisa stated. “He said he couldn’t do his job or something. Maybe he gets drug tested.”

“You aren’t driving...right?” Castiel stated.

“We have an uber downstairs.” Lisa beamed. “I’m fine,  _ mom _ .” 

“...Okay. Be safe.” Castiel stated. 

“Will do.” Lisa waved before she kissed Abigail one last time before walking away. Castiel sighed once she left turning to Abigail.

“Don’t be a wild child like your mom.” Castiel sighed moving to take her back to bed. “I can not handle another her.”

  
  


___________________________________________________________________________

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Now**

  
  
  
  
  
  


Michael took out the blanket from the washing machine, Abigail was dead tired from crying but when Michael took the blanket out it had become unraveled. The poorly stitched on fox had come unraveled. Now what was left was two different fabrics completely separated. 

“Oh no…” Michael whispered as Abigail stared at the blanket. “Abigail, I can sew it back together, but the fox might be hard to replicate-.”

“...It’s okay. I don’t want it anymore...It’s ugly anyway.” Abigail whispered with a shrug sounding so cold about it. Michael knew she was just trying to be strong. 

“Abi.” Michael breathed sadly but Abigail just took it into her hand before walking it to the trash can tossing it in. Abigail returned to the table to finish her Ice cream, Michael watched her playing off the loss.

...It wasn’t the loss of the blanket she mourned though but the mother it represented and the part of her knew that her mother just like the blanket wasn’t coming back. 

“...You know, when I was your age, my dad left me too when I was a couple years older than you.” Michael spoke as Abigail glanced up at that. 

“Why?” Abigail asked. 

“...He found someone he liked more than my mom. So he told my mom it was over and left her for his new girlfriend.” Michael stated. “...but he never told her about us and pretended we didn’t exist. I never saw him again after that.” 

“So...he just left?” Abigail asked. Michael nodded.

“He never said goodbye,” Michael commented sadly. “...Last I heard he has a new family, with new kids…”

“Do you hate his new family?” Abigail questioned as Michael shook his head no.

“I just feel sorry for them and hope he doesn’t end up breaking their hearts too,” Michael confessed. 

“...Do you hate him?” Abigail asked as Michael shook his head yes. 

“But...I still go fishing in the same spot he used to take me when I was little.” Michael explained moving to take the blanket out of the trash. Abigail watched him as Michael softly folded the pieces to try to fix at a later time. “I’ve even taken Teddy and Lucifer there.”

“Why?” Abigail asked as Michael smiled at her.

“Just because someone hurt you, doesn’t mean something that once made you smile should too. It’s your blanket. It makes you happy. Don’t let your mother sour it for you.” Michael stated as Abigail looked down eyeing her blanket. “I’ll fix it for you, Abigail. It might take me a couple of days but I promise it will be as good as new.” 

“...thank you,” Abigail whispered. Michael hugged her before he kissed her forehead. 

“Come on, let’s go back to bed.” Michael scooped her up before taking her back to the living room and tucked her into bed with the two boys. “Good night, Abi.”

“Goodnight, Mr. Michael,” Abigail whispered as she turned to curl into her brother before falling fast asleep. 

  
  



	13. Ice ice baby

“Daddy!” The twins screamed happily as Castiel kneeled to his children, they ran into his arms. Castiel nuzzled and held his children as Michael walked up, holding their bags. 

“Were you guys perfect angels?” Castiel asked as the twins nodded. “Go inside and hug Dean, He missed you guys like crazzzzzy.” The twins laughed happily before running inside. “Were they good?”

“Yep.” Michael beamed. “They were angels. However, we did have a pull-up leakage and a baby blanket might have been damaged in the process.”

“Oh no.” Castiel breathed. 

“Don’t worry, Alex didn’t even notice. He was so asleep when I had to change him I don’t think he woke up to notice.” Michael stated. “And I’ll fix Abigail’s blanket. I’ll hand it over when I’m done.”

“Thank you, Michael.” Castiel breathed relieved to have him. Michael handed Castiel their stuff which he took. 

“No problem. I’ll text you, I have a plan for a future playdate.” Michael stated as Castiel nodded happily. “Tell Dean said hi.” 

“Will do,” Castiel commented as Michael turned walking away. 

Castiel walled back towards the house hearing the kids laughing. Castiel set their stuff down to enter the bedroom. Dean was holding the kids close to his chest, the kids were pinned against him as Dean tickled them playfully. The kids squealed laughing before Castiel jumped onto the bed almost knocking them all off the bed. Abigail moved out of Dean’s arms and into Castiel’s who scooped her close holding him close. Alexander laid his head on Dean’s chest, watching whatever Dean was watching on tv. 

“Did you guys have fun?” Dean asked as the kids nodded. 

“We got to um, paint,” Alexander explained what they had done, Castiel got up. 

“Have you guys eaten?” Castiel asked. 

“We ate a bit ago,” Abigail commented as she snuggled into Dean. 

“Well, it’s almost lunch, you want to eat?” Castiel asked as Abigail nodded. 

“Why don’t we go out for lunch?” Dean offered, scooping up Alexander on his chest. “I am craving some junk food.”

“Yay! Junk food!” Abigail laughed as Dean leaned down kissing her head. 

“Where is Sam?” Dean asked.

“He’s in his room.” Castiel shrugged as Dean nodded moving to go get him but Castiel intercepted. “Why don’t I go snag him up and you get the twins into the car.” Dean shrugged in agreement as he walked towards the car. Castiel glanced up towards Sam’s room before he walked upstairs.

___________________________________________________________________________

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Sam laid back against his bed as Gabriel pinned him against him. Sam moaned loving the feeling of Gabriel’s hands against his body. Sam was shirtless and Gabriel had a habit of pressing kisses against his chest as they hung out. Gabriel respected Sam’s request for no longer smoking with him. Gabriel pulled back to smile at him. It was so odd how Gabriel just became just a good thing in his life. How attached to him he became. He couldn’t imagine a life without Gabriel lounging on his bed next to him. Gabriel leaned down kissing him which Sam kissed back.

Sam’s bedroom door opened as the teens yanked away from each other as Sam slid on his shirt. Castiel blinked pausing knowing he should have expected the smoker here. Gabriel stood awkwardly ready to bounce out the window but Castiel gave him a look.

“...Sit. Don’t either of you move.” Castiel turned walking down the stairs as Gabriel and Sam turned looking at him. Castiel returned a few minutes later and took a seat at Sam’s bed. Castiel opened his mouth to speak.

“W-We aren’t having sex,” Sam commented as Castiel closed his mouth before trying to speak again. “W-We aren’t dating either.” 

“Look, it can go from zero to one hundred.” Castiel placed a new box condom box. “Keep it in your drawer.”

“...Okay.” Sam breathed moving to place it in his drawer. 

“You guys aren’t kids. I’m not going to sit here and say to wait for marriage or anything like that.” Castiel sighed. “However, you are lucky I found you and not Dean. He would have lost his mind.” 

“Why because I look like a typical bad boy?” Gabriel scoffed as Castiel and Sam said nothing glancing at each other. “I’m not a typical bad boy, I have a job, and great grades.” 

“Well, one, Sam needs to be more open to his brother about you.” Castiel looked at Sam. Sam looked down. 

“I’m not trying to hide Gabriel, I just...we are still trying to figure this out.” Sam shrugged. “Telling Dean... makes everything kind of serious. He’s my brother. I don’t want him to worry about me.” 

“Well, maybe get him to know Gabriel before you suddenly show up to Christmas with a new boyfriend?” Castiel commented as Sam nodded turning to look at Gabriel. “Why don’t you come with us to lunch? You can meet Dean and we can start this the right way so Dean doesn’t have a heart attack when he catches you making out in the bed as I did.” 

“...Okay.” Sam blushed to realize he was right. 

“Come on, I told Dean we would meet them at the restaurant. Why don’t you go take a shower, you smell like an ashtray.” Castiel waved him off as Gabriel shrugged agreeing before climbing back to his house. 

“He’s...a real good guy,” Sam spoke as Castiel turned to him.

“He makes you happy?” Castiel asked. 

“...Yeah, a lot.” Sam commented. 

“Then I don’t mind him hanging around.” Castiel winked as Sam smiled. “Get dressed and I’ll meet you guys down in the car.” 

“Okay.” Sam smiled watching Castiel go, Sam changed into something better to wear out besides his pajamas. He turned when Gabriel had come back into his room. Wearing a casual t-shirt and jeans, he smiled at him which Sam smiled back. 

“How do I look?” Gabriel asked. 

“You look so handsome.” Sam walked over to him giving him a soft kiss. 

“Thanks. I don’t smell like cigarettes do I?” Gabriel asked shyly as Sam shook his head no. 

“You smell like you drowned in body spray.” Sam chuckled. 

“Good.” Gabriel kissed him back as a honk of the car made them turn. “Ready to go?”

“Ready.” Sam breathed taking his hand following after him. Gabriel climbed into the back seat as Sam took the seat behind him. “Cas, where are we eating?”

“Haeven.” Castiel smiled moving to reverse as Gabriel hesitantly fixed his shirt trying to look his best. Sam smiled watching him, he never seen Gabriel so nervous. 

“You look great.” Sam took his hand reassuring as Gabriel smiled at him shyly. Castiel smiled at the two as he drove to Haeven. 

  
  


_________________________________________________________________

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Dean was drawing with the twins waiting for Castiel and the others. Castiel walked over to him kissing him as Dean smiled up at him. However, Dean turned to Sam and Gabriel surprised. 

“Sam, is this a friend of yours?” Dean asked as Sam nodded quickly.

“Dean, this is Gabriel. He’s our neighbor and my best friend.” Sam explained as Dean looked at Gabriel. “Cas said he was welcome to come.”

“A friend of Sam’s is a friend of mine. Come sit down.” Dean waved him over-friendly as Castiel grabbed another chair for him. Gabriel took a seat between Sam and Dean as Dean handed him a menu. “You guys in the same year?” 

“Juniors? Yeah.” Gabriel explained as Dean nodded. 

“Have you been the one taking Sam to school?” Dean asked. 

“Yeah, we have the same classes so why not.” Gabriel beamed innocently. 

“I see,” Dean commented as Abigail stole his attention trying to get him to read the kids' menu to her. The third time he had and Abigail was still unsure what to order despite ordering the same things every time they came here. “How about Dino-nuggets?” 

“Hmmm.” Abigail thought as Castiel chuckled at his daughter’s serious contemplation. 

“I know what I want daddy!” Alexander showed Castiel pointing to the picture of the burger rocks. Which were just small kid-size burgers with fries, Alexander really liked those and always got the one with two burgers because he was a big boy and can eat that much….Dean or Castiel always helped finished it for him. 

“Welcome to Haeven, I’m your waitress Meg, How can I help you-” Meg handed out water before paused seeing Sam and Gabriel. “Hey, you two.” 

“Meg, hey,” Sam commented surprised they shared a couple of classes, they weren’t close but they did know each other. 

“That’s cute you guys on a double date with Sam’s parents?” Meg commented. Gabriel choked on the water she brought. 

“Double date?” Dean asked her confused as Sam swallowed. 

“Meg, this is my brother, Dean and his boyfriend, Cas.” Sam tried to change the subject as Castiel tried to reassure the confused Dean who looked at him confused. 

“Nice to meet you guys.” Meg offered before she lifted her notebook. “What can I get you for drinks?”

“Can we get some cokes for the adults and some hot chocolates for the kids?” Castiel tried to wave her away as Dean still whispered asking him questioned. 

“Are you guys ready to order?” Meg asked.

“What did you mean by double date?” Dean changed the subject back as Sam swallowed trying to order. 

“Can I get the sweet potatoes with the burgers?” Sam choked but he went ignored by the table.

“Because...Sam and Gabriel are dating?” Meg spoke confused. “...They are always making out at school so I just assumed…” She trailed off when she realized she made a mistake in continuing. Dean said nothing as everyone at the table awkwardly ordered. Dean lost in thought. 

“Dean will get the Special with the garlic fries,” Castiel ordered as Dean continued to glare at Gabriel. “No pickles please.” 

“Okay, anything else?” Meg asked but no one said anything. Meg awkwardly walked away as Gabriel drank down his water. 

“So you’re not friends, you’re dating,” Dean commented annoyed. 

“Um…” Sam swallowed nervously. “W-...We are still in that awkward stage of just liking each other. Nothing’s official.” 

“You are too young to have anything ‘not official’,” Dean stated protectively. “Besides you are too young to be dating.”

“I’m sixteen, Dean,” Sam stated annoyed. “It’s normal.” 

“It’s not normal for you.” Dean snapped. “You should be focusing on your studies and not worried about boys.”

“Dean, It’s just Gabriel I’m noticing and He’s amazing at school. He’s got colleges lined up to take him, He’s been helping me with my studies.” Sam took his hand, Gabriel shyly looked away. 

“Is he the reason you have been smelling like an ashtray?” Dean hissed as Sam crossed his arms.

“I’m the reason I smelled like an ashtray and I quit,” Sam commented. 

“You never had problems like this before,” Dean commented annoyed. 

“Maybe I just never  _ allowed  _ you to know about problems like this before. Teens try crap like this all the time, Dean.” Sam retorted. Castiel covered Dean’s hands as Dean moved to speak. 

“Gabriel’s a good kid, I know him. He’s a good influence on Sam, I promise.” Castiel lied, he didn’t know Gabriel enough to vouch for him, yet here he was. Sticking his neck out for him. 

“So you know him?” Dean asked as Castiel nodded.

“I am friends with his...dad.” Castiel hesitated to look at the boys. They took the lie. 

“So he’s not trouble?” Dean asked as Castiel nodded.

“He’s a very good kid, even volunteers when he’s not working.” Castiel lied as Dean turned to Gabriel.

“...So where do you work?” Dean’s tone seemed nicer as Gabriel breathed in relief. 

“I work at the Zoo with my mom. I mostly just work on the ticket booth. If you guys ever want to go, I can get you in.” Gabriel spoke as Dean eyed him. Still suspicious of him but Castiel’s voucher for him was enough to get Dean to trust him enough to calm down. 

“Funny enough, we had our sorta first date there.” Castiel beamed as Dean smiled happily at that. 

“You think it was our first date too?” Dean asked as Castiel took his hand kissing it. 

“Can we go to the zoo?!” Abigail asked as Dean turned to her. 

“How about once it becomes summer again?” Dean offered. “I don’t want you guys in the cold.” 

“Okay, mommy.” Abigail beamed as Dean softly took cupped her cheek and kissed her forehead just as hot chocolate and sodas were brought to the table. Abigail happily squealed as she took a sip. Dean ran his fingers through her short hair, ushering her to take it easy and if she wasn’t careful she could burn herself.

“So, what are your goals, Gabriel?” Dean asked as Gabriel glanced up. “Once you graduate high school.”

“I want to be a doctor,” Gabriel admitted. 

“...Like Doctor Sexy?” Sam turned as Gabriel went red and shushed. 

“Wait, you love Doctor Sexy?” Dean asked lighting up as Gabriel turned. 

“You love Doctor Sexy, too?” Gabriel lit up as well. Dean and Gabriel started to talk about his favorite episodes. Castiel shook his head wondering why he was worried when these two were already comparing episodes and favorite characters. Sam looked at Castiel and mouthed thank you to him. Castiel winked reassuring him it was no big deal. 

“Food’s here.” Meg beamed as she offered them their meals. Abigail happily reached for her dino-nuggets dipping it into some ranch. Dean placed a napkin to cover her shirt but she was already dripping it all over the place. Dean placed his napkin into her lap just as it dripped onto the napkin. Dean cleaning up Abigail as she fidgetted and moved to wave her ranch chicken nugget as she talked. 

Dean moved to eat his meal, happily stealing Abigail’s ranch for his fries. Abigail squealed and laughed when Dean would steal some more ranch. Everyone seemed to lighten up after Gabriel and Dean bonded. Alexander sat on his knees offering Castiel a bite of his second burger. Though he was going on about how he was a big boy who could eat two burgers. 

Gabriel and Sam had started talking about some school events coming up, Sam happily talking about the dance coming up that he wanted to be lame and go.

When lunch was over, Dean held Abigail on his lap, cleaning her face of all the ranch she smeared all over the place, mostly on her. 

“Did you guys want dessert?” Castiel offered as he glanced at the boys. Gabriel and Sam shook their head claiming to be full as the twins wanted dessert were told no because they would get sick from eating too much. “I got us some for later.” 

“My knight in shining armor.” Dean leaned over and kissed him. Abigail started to pout whimpering. 

“Mommy. I want some.” Abigail whimpered as she started to cry. 

“You can eat some with us tonight.” Dean cooed to her calming her. She nuzzled into Dean holding him close. “You always can share with us, love.” 

“I love you, mommy.” Abigail whimpered as Dean rubbed her back with care. 

“I love you too, baby girl.” Dean rocked her as Castiel pulled out his card paying for their meal and took the dessert once it was given over. 

“Gabriel, did you guys want to watch a movie, I think we can squeeze in a movie before he headed home?” Castiel asked.

“Wow, fancy, lunch and a movie?” Dean commented as Castiel beamed. 

“We deserve a family day.” Castiel shrugged with care. 

“Daddy, can we see Elsa?” Abigail asked happily as Alexander gasped. 

“We can see Elsa?!” Alexander gasped. 

“Sure,” Castiel commented as Dean turned to Sam and Gabriel. 

“You guys can go watch something else if you want.” Dean offered. 

“I would but I have to go home and check on my grandpa. He can’t be left alone for too long.” Gabriel admitted. “Sam, you should go with them. Not both of us should miss out.” 

“Okay.” Sam breathed as Gabriel kissed his forehead. 

“Thanks so much for lunch,” Gabriel spoke to Castiel shaking their hands. 

“Do you have a way home?” Dean asked concerned.

“I’ll take the bus,” Gabriel commented. “You have been more than hospitable.” 

“Why don’t I drive you home?” Castiel offered. “That way I will feel better about letting you on your own, besides I should get the dessert into the fridge.”

“Are you sure?” Gabriel asked as Sam nodded standing. 

“I’ll go with him and we can meet Dean and the twins in a few for the movie?” Sam asked as Dean nodded. 

“Alright, come on little ones.” Dean stood as the twins happily talked about the frozen movie they were about to see. Castiel, Sam, and Gabriel got to their car and headed back home.

__________________________________________________________________________

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Dean collapsed in bed once the kids were tucked into bed, after Frozen and a frozen pizza the kids were out like a light. Dean opened his eyes feeling Castiel straddling him with care. Dean cupped his face kissing him as Castiel laughed into the kiss. 

“God, I have no idea how I got you. But I’m blessed.” Castiel hummed with care. 

“What do you mean, I’m the lucky one.” Dean snorted but Castiel eyed him. 

“I got a surprise for you.” Castiel got off of him up asking him to follow. Dean questioned him but Castiel kept quiet. Castiel got dressed in warm clothes, and helped pick some warm ones for Dean, he grabbed a bag near the door before they snuck out of the house. Dean walked with Castiel in the cold, holding hands as Dean wondered what his surprise was. 

“The kids are going to freak if they realize we are missing.” Dean laughed but Castiel waved him off. 

“Sam’s watching them for us,” Castiel commented. “So I can bring you here.”

“The lake?” Dean asked confused looking at the froze lake when Castiel pulled out a medium size box from the bag offering it to Dean. 

“Open it up.” Castiel offered as Dean took the box opening it up curiously, he gasped in surprise seeing ice skates inside. “I promised.” Castiel pulled out his old skates moving to put them onto his feet as Dean gasped in surprise moving to put them on so happily. 

“No way.” Dean put them on so happily. “No fucking away.” Castiel got onto the ice with his ice skate, he easily moved around the ice. He admittedly missed this. Dean watched Castiel feeling at one with the ice. Dean let him have his moment before he awkwardly walked towards the ice. “Jesus, I’m going to fall,” Dean spoke walking around in fear towards the ice. Castiel moved to help him with care onto the ice.

“I won’t let you fall,” Castiel reassured taking his hand, Dean awkwardly got onto the ice. He was shaky but Castiel took his time to teach him. Helping him with each baby step. Dean stood just practicing stay on his feet as Castiel skated like he was born with the ability around him. 

“How does it feel? Skating again?” Dean asked as Castiel skated backward, his hands behind him as he did.

“It feels like...something similar to sitting in a bath. I am just so relaxed. So at peace.” Castiel commented. “Like a breath of fresh air.” 

“Well, look at you, if I didn’t know any better, I would say you were well on your way to being an Olympic champion.” Dean beamed as Castiel gave him a look. 

“Cute,” Castiel stated as Dean almost fell but Castiel grabbed him by his arm keeping him up. 

“Why don’t you help me to that bolder over there and show me a move,” Dean commented as Castiel helped him over to a bolder frozen inside the lake, where Dean held onto it to keep steady. 

“I don’t know if I can.” Castiel hesitated but Dean cupped his chin. 

“Why don’t you try,” Dean whispered holding onto the rock for support. Castiel hesitated but agreed, moving away from Dean he started on a few beginner moves which Dean watched with support and love. Cheering him on the whole time. Castiel even got a couple of advanced moves in, Castiel paused after he finished his last move. Dean clapped happily. “Encore!” 

“That’s all I can do.” Castiel waved him off not bothering to try more. 

“Come on, just one more try, who knows, you might surprise yourself at your many talents,” Dean commented as Castiel glanced at him. Castiel hesitated before he started to skate around. He paused before he once again tried the move that ended his career, which made him into the alcoholic he was, which made him lose everything. 

Castiel managed a half-flip before he panicked and bailed, images of his foot destroyed flooded his brain as he slammed down to the ice. 

“Cas?!” Dean wasn’t able to move to him, still not good at skating as Castiel angrily slammed his fists into the ice before he grabbed off his ice skates throwing one and slamming the other into the ice before awkwardly climbing off the ice. “Cas! It’s okay! You did your best-!”

“I TOLD YOU I COULDN’T DO IT!” Castiel snapped at him as Dean’s face fell. “I FUCKING TOLD YOU I COULDN’T DO IT AND YOU PRESSURED ME ANYWAYS!” 

“Babe, you did so well.” Dean tried as he pushed himself off the bolder. He held himself as steady as he could. 

“You’re JUST like LISA!” Castiel growled so angrily, so triggered by his past...so upset by his failures. “YOU JUST WANT ME BACK IN THE GAME SO YOU CAN MOOCH OFF ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE!” Dean wasn’t angry, he didn’t give glare at him. He knew he was saying cruel things because he was upset. He knew he was taking it out on Dean. Dean just let him.

“You just got back on the ice. For the first time, in six years.” Dean spoke kneeling to pull the ice skate stuck into the ice that Castiel had slammed it repeatedly into, breaking pieces off the ice. “I am so proud of you, you were able to do so much. I am so fucking proud of you. Look how far you come. Sober, healing and back on the ice. Past you would be so proud of the man you became too. I love you so much, Castiel.” 

Castiel sniffed tears feeling his eyes, moving to wipe the tears. Dean smiled at him. Dean tried to get up but that was a little too advanced for him and he fell backward onto his butt. He and the skate fell as the ice on the lake groaned at the hit. Dean looked up at Castiel in fear as he felt the ice snapping under him. 

“Dean, don’t move!” Castiel panicked as Dean nodded shaking in fear. This was all his fault! If Castiel hadn’t thrown a fit on the ice hitting it with his skate, he would have been safe! It wouldn’t have had structure damage!

“I-I won’t.” Dean panicked as Castiel tried to get on the ice but it moaned at his added weight. Castiel quickly got away from the lake. “Cas, I’m scared.”

“I-It’s going to be okay.” Castiel moved to try to find his phone. Castiel pulled out his cellphone calling emergency services. Castiel begged them to hurry, as another crack made Dean’s eyes fill with tears in fear. 

“I-I’m going to melt the ice.” Dean choked feeling his body heat against the ice under him not helping with the cracked ice. “I-I’m sorry.”

“Dean, hold on, emergency services are on their way,” Castiel reassured as Dean shook in fear. “Dean, don’t move, just wait there.”

“C-Cas, the ice isn’t holding.” Dean cried out feeling the ice moving wobbly under him, threatening to collapse. 

“Dean, don’t move,” Castiel begged as Dean looked around feeling the ice-cold water starting to cover the ice he sat on. 

“Cas-” Dean looked up at him in fear just as the ice under him caved, Dean was under in seconds as Castiel panicked screaming in fear as Castiel bolted onto the ice, the ice gave under him, but it wasn’t deep where he was. Castiel dove under the water trying to find him in the ice-cold water. Castiel was going to pass out from the cold. Castiel swam towards Dean’s body as he started to pass out, he remembered reaching for Dean. He remembered his fingers grazing his fingertips before Castiel was ripped from the water by the rescue team. Castiel passing out as Dean disappeared from his sight in the darkness of the water. 


	14. The bar

Michael stood in the convenience store, his eyes sliding over the stuff he was working on the counter when the bell rang, meaning a customer had walked in. Michael glanced up to welcome them in, but when Michael noticed Castiel standing there. Michael moved to block him from coming in, seeing Castiel’s bloodshot eyes, seeing the tears still falling. 

“Castiel, no,” Michael stated. “Go home or go back to the hospital-” 

“Get out of my way.” Castiel moved to the liquor fridge but Michael moved to it first and locked it with the key. “MICHAEL!” Castiel hissed trying to open the cabinet.

“Dean’s going to be fine. However, if you drink again, you won’t be!” Michael begged. “Don’t throw your recovery away!”

“I-I did this to him-” Castiel sobbed. “H-He wouldn’t be in the hospital if it wasn’t for me-”

“Don’t do that! Don’t blame yourself!” Michael tried to calm Castiel who covered his face in his hands and wiped his tears frustrated. “I know Dean doesn’t-” 

“Dean wouldn’t be in that water if it wasn’t for me.” Castiel choked. 

“I-I’ll call Lucifer. You guys can have a meeting.” Michael moved to his phone calling Lucifer explaining what was going on. Lucifer stated he was on his way when Michael turned to tell Castiel, Castiel was gone. Michael cursed telling Lucifer Castiel was gone. “Shit, Lucifer, He’s gone.” 

“I’ll find him,” Lucifer spoke before hanging up.

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Lucifer checked each gas station and bar till he came across Castiel sitting on a bar holding himself, staring at a shot in front of him. He was...just sat there looking at it. 

“Cas!” Lucifer called as Castiel glanced over at him in tears. 

“I didn’t…I didn’t drink it.” Castiel choked it as more tears slid down his face looking at the drink.

“I can see.” Lucifer took a seat next to him moving the drink away. “I thought Dean took your ID.”

“It was in his wallet. They gave it to me when he was admitted to the hospital to hold.” Castiel slid over Dean’s wallet, Lucifer took it with care looking inside seeing Castiel’s ID right above Dean’s. Inside Dean’s wallet, Lucifer noticed the photo of Castiel, Dean, the twins, and Sam inside. It looked like a selfie with everyone just squeezed through. Lucifer closed the wallet sliding it into his pocket. 

“...How is Dean doing?” Lucifer asked as Castiel sniffed. 

“He has hypothermia, they are monitoring his lungs since he drowned and he hasn’t woken up yet,” Castiel spoke as Lucifer slid the liquor over to another person at the bar, the drunk man happily accepted the free drink. 

“Excuse me, how much did he owe?”Lucifer asked itching to get out of the bar as the bartender glanced at him. 

“Your friend ordered one drink and didn’t drink it. That idiot you gave the drink to ordered another shot anyway, I’ll put the drink on his tab. Besides, you helped my girlfriend get clean. I owe you one.” The bartender explained with a lazy shrug. 

“Thank you,” Lucifer commented as he took Castiel’s hand taking him out of the bar. Lucifer moved to his car as he led Castiel away. 

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Lucifer opened the doors to Haeven, turning on the lights he walked with Castiel to one of the bar chairs near the kitchen. Lucifer grabbed an apron, moving to cook something for them both. Castiel sat with him saying nothing lost in thought. 

“How are you?” Lucifer asked as Castiel glanced up.

“What does it matter how I am?” Castiel asked as Lucifer continued to stare waiting for an answer.

“You were in the hospital too,” Lucifer stated. “You left against Doctor’s permission.”

“I am fine,” Castiel whispered as Lucifer made Castiel and him some food before he took a seat next to him. 

“You look like shit,” Lucifer commented as Castiel snorted not expecting this comment and Lucifer laughed happy he made Castiel laughed. 

“Yeah, I bet I do.” Castiel chuckled moving to drink the milkshake Lucifer had made him. “...Do you think Dean’s going to be okay?”

“Of course I do,” Lucifer reassured. “He’s going to be more okay once he realizes you didn’t relapse, even though you had plenty of time to.”

“I ordered a drink,” Castiel commented disappointed with himself.

“You are almost a month and a half in,” Lucifer commented. “You haven’t relapsed once.”

“I wanted to.” Castiel wiped his tears that started to fall. “I saw Dean lifeless in the hospital and all I could think of was downing a large bottle of vodka.” 

“Did you know when I first tried to get clean, I failed three to four times?” Lucifer stated as Castiel seemed taken back by this.

“Three to four times?” Castiel commented as Lucifer shrugged.

“I saw something as a failure when Michael thinks It wasn’t.” Lucifer chuckled. “It gets us into fights all the fucking time.”

“What...was it?” Castiel asked curiously.

“I had a particularly hard time. My mom got sick and I was craving liquor. So I went to a bar and bought a shot of tequila.” Lucifer rolled his eyes at his stupidity. “I decided to mouthwash with it. I held it into my mouth. Swirled it and tasted it. Held it till I felt like I was going to vomit from the taste alone and vomited my expensive tequila into a nasty trash can. I called Michael and confessed everything. I cried and stayed on the phone with him till he picked me up.”

“You see it as a failure because despite not drinking it, you still consumed it, even a bit,” Castiel stated understanding.

“Michael thinks it was the first time I showed how seriously committed I was to getting cleaned.” Lucifer sighed.

“Because you never swallowed it.” Castiel nodded. 

“He said he was so proud of me. Said he was proud of me for not swallowing it. Said he was proud of me for calling him to get me out of there. Proud I confessed to him about what I had done.” Lucifer breathed. “Said because I could have done it and got away with it. Yet, I didn’t allow my weakness to win.”

“So to you, you failed four times,” Castiel stated.

“But to Michael, I failed three times.” Lucifer shrugged. “...Cas, you might see caving and going to the bar as a failure but to me? You are kicking addictions ass.” Lucifer held up his milkshake which Castiel caved and picked up his clanking their glasses together. 

“...I can’t forgive myself for what I did to Dean.” Castiel breathed wiping a tear that fell. 

“Then use that guilt. Show Dean you can be a better man for him. Give him love and devotion every day to make his life better every day.” Lucifer beamed. “Stay clean, stay vigilant, and keep carrying on.”

“...” Castiel wiped his tears as Castiel paused. “Sam must hate me.”

“Why would Sam hate you?” Lucifer breathed rubbing his back.

“I keep showing him how horrible I am for Dean and him.” Castiel sniffed looking up trying not to cry.

“You know Sam called Michael to warn him you might relapse,” Lucifer commented. “Without him, Michael would have never known to look out for you and I wouldn’t be here making one of my best friends stop his self-hate.”

“Sam really cared enough to call?” Castiel asked as Lucifer nodded. 

“He refused to let you give up when you got this far,” Lucifer stated. “He’s one of your biggest fans.”

“But...I hurt his brother...why would he-?” Castiel’s voice broke, Lucifer touched his back.

“Look, I don’t know Sam beyond him coming here and eating with you guys, but I doubt he would call and warn Michael if he thought you hurt his brother.” Lucifer raised his eyebrow. “Might be easier to get rid of you if you relapsed.”

“Yeah, I guess that makes sense,” Castiel mumbled shyly taking a bite of his burger.

“No one wants you to fail,” Lucifer reassured. “I promise, not even your worst enemy would wish addiction on you.”

“...” Castiel nodded sadly.

“Just so you know,” Lucifer spoke gaining Castiel’s attention. “Everyone is proud of you.”

“Thank you, Lucifer,” Castiel whispered as Lucifer ruffled his hair. Castiel smiled softly going back to eating. They ate in silence, enjoying the taste of the delicious burgers and fries. Castiel chewed contentedly on the meal till he had finished. Lucifer took their plates and cleaned them before returning. 

“Are you ready to return to the hospital?” Lucifer commented as Castiel looked down still upset. “Come on, Let’s go for a walk.” Castiel moved to follow him out the door and into the cold night. Both bundled for the cold. The snow had stopped falling hours ago and the wind had died down. Lucifer and Castiel walked in silence listening to the crunching of their shoes of the snows. “I want to show you something.” 

Castiel gave him a look but they walked towards the convenience store but they didn’t enter like Castiel thought, they walked behind the convenience store. Lucifer walked him over to the bushes behind the store. Castiel watched Lucifer kneel to an area with a bushed pushed out to make an almost a nest. Lucifer picked up a glass bottle from the mud that had been there a while. Lucifer stood to put the bottle into the trash. 

“You came here?” A voice gained their attention seeing Michael holding out some hot chocolate for them. Castiel took it happily for the warmth. 

“What’s here?” Castiel asked curiously as Lucifer kissed Michael with care thanking him for the drink. 

“This is where Lucifer and I first met,” Michael commented as Lucifer turned to look at the bush.

“I was living in this bush, I had a bunch of blankets and just tossed my trash wherever,” Lucifer commented. “But it was cold that night. I didn’t care though. I was so drunk I couldn’t get to shelter if I wanted.”

“I had just come out from work to go home when I noticed him covered in snow and curled away in the bush.” Michael walked overlooking at the hole. “I thought he was a dog at first, but when I realized he was a human being, I forced him up and into my car to get warm.” 

“I was so drunk, I didn’t realize till the next day when I woke up from my hangover that I even realized I was in a warm home,” Lucifer explained. 

“He got so mad at me for saving his life.” Michael chuckled drinking his hot chocolate. “Demanded I take him back. I told him he would die out there and...he told me he didn’t care. That’s when I knew I had to help him.”

“So wait, he didn’t ask for help?” Castiel asked curiously. “I just always assumed he wanted to get clean.”

“No. He...refused at first,” Michael stated explaining. “He wanted me to leave him alone.” Michael laughed. “Then I offered him a place to live, rent-free, with clean running water and heat.”

“I was so stubborn, I refused...till I heard Michael run a bath for me.” Lucifer breathed. “It’s so nice to be in a bath after so long. I agreed to live with him, but not to get clean.”

“So he drank under your roof?” Castiel asked curiously. 

“No, that was the rule. He couldn’t drink at my house and he couldn’t come home drunk.” Michael stated. 

“I started to crave heat and baths more than booze, so I agreed to try to cut back,” Lucifer admitted.

“Once he started to cut back, he started to try to get back to wanting a job and wanting to be... _ human, _ ” Michael explained. “That’s when he started to be honest with me about his past.” 

“I told him everything,” Lucifer spoke. “Michael held my hand the entire time and I cried like crazy. I told him about my wife, her unsolved murder and my son... Michael offered to walk me through getting me clean and I took it. Like I was grasping for a life vest. I was drowning and he was the only person who seemed to give a shit.”    
  


“You never found out who killed her?” Castiel whispered horrified.

“No.” Lucifer breathed as Michael took his hand. “That was the hardest obstacle I had to get over to sober up. Knowing I might never know. Was a hard pill to swallow. But I had to get clean. For her, My son, Michael and myself.” Castiel didn’t say anything, he couldn’t imagine losing someone to murder and not knowing who did it. If he walked past them every day if he knew them. 

“I’m sorry, Lucifer.” Castiel choked out as Lucifer waved him life. 

“What I’m trying to say is that life doesn’t go the way it plans,” Lucifer spoke. “I imagined a future with my wife and son, now I have an entirely different future planned. Though I wish she was still here, I am so happy, I have a boyfriend who supports me and helps me care for my son. It’s a future I am so happy to be given a chance at.” Castiel held himself taking a sip of the coco. 

“What are you saying?” Castiel asked knowing Lucifer had a point.

“I’m saying things happen for a reason, You and Dean were destined to meet and fall in love,” Lucifer spoke. “You were destined to get clean, to raise your children the way they deserve.” Lucifer moved away from Michael to touch Castiel’s shoulders. “Look how far you come. Just as I come here to remind myself how far I came.”

“What does it matter how far I come if I’m still a monster enough to hurt people I love like Dean.” Castiel choked out upset as Lucifer softly forced Castiel into a hug. Castiel sobbed holding him, burying his face into his shoulder, his broken sobs filled the air as Michael took Castiel’s cup so he didn’t spill it. He placed it in his car and moved to hug Castiel too. Both smushing him in a warm comforting hug.

“You’re not a monster. You are amazing.” Lucifer stated. “You might not see it now, but you are going to prove that to yourself one day. I can’t wait till you do, because I promise you, we love the shit out of you.” Castiel sniffed chuckling at his words. 

“We love you, booii.” Michael laughed causing Castiel and Lucifer to pull away laughing at his words and his slang. “...What?”

“I love you, nerd. Never change.” Lucifer breathed wiping his tears from crying too hard. Castiel watched Lucifer kiss Michael and hold him.

“Lucifer. I think I’m ready to go back to the hospital.” Castiel spoke as Michael and Lucifer turned. 

“Let’s walk back to Haeven, I’ll grab the car,” Lucifer commented. 

“Do you want a lift, I can take you there,” Michael asked.

“No no, it’s not fair, we will walk.” Lucifer kissed Michael’s forehead as Michael nodded. 

“Let me get you guys some stuff for Sam and the kids...and hopefully Dean,” Michael stated. Castiel nodded watching Michael go inside before he came out with a cup tray of hot cocos and a bag of warmed food for the kids. Castiel thanked him before they hugged and Lucifer walked him back.

__________________________________________________________________________

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Castiel walked into the hospital with Lucifer having a comforting hand on his back as they walked down the halls. It wasn’t till they got near Dean’s hospital room that Castiel paused, almost scared to go in. Lucifer looked at him allowing Castiel to build the courage to go in. 

“It’s okay,” Lucifer reassured. Castiel nodded looking at the door before he walked in. The room was quiet except for the machines beeping in the background. Sam sat in one of the chairs, just sitting there, he glanced up when they entered. Lucifer moving to check on him handing him hot cocoa and allowed Sam a pick at whatever food Michael had given them for the kids. 

Castiel stared at Dean’s sleeping body as the twins slept next to him in the bed just holding him. Castiel felt so guilty Sam had to comfort them alone. Castiel took a seat by the bed which gained Dean’s attention, Dean’s eyes fluttered open as he sucked in air. Dean felt the kids against his chest sitting up only a little rubbing his eyes. Dean glanced at Dean giving him a loving smile. 

“Hey, dork.” Dean smiled at him as Castiel smiled back tears filling his eyes. 

“How...How long have you been awake?” Castiel asked. 

“Maybe an hour.” Dean shrugged. “Once they got me stable pretty much, they just want to monitor my lungs, but I should go home tomorrow morning.”

“I-I’m sorry, I wasn’t here,” Castiel whispered trying to breathe but he felt like he would break down.

“I didn’t want you to be,” Dean stated as Castiel glanced at him taken back. “Not if you weren’t mentally well. Sam told me you went to Haeven for support and I’m pretty proud of you.”

Sam covered for him.

It felt like everyone was covering for him, so he wouldn’t disappoint Dean.

“D-Dean, I’m sorry-” Castiel choked out but Dean blew him off. 

“If you are going to blame yourself for the ice, I will kill you,” Dean stated seriously. “Wait, is that food, I’m starving.” Sam got up to give him some hot cocoa and some snacks from Michael. “The kids ate the hospital food, which is good for me, it was way too healthy for me.”

“You needed it for strength,” Sam commented. 

“I don’t need rabbit food, I need a convenience store nachos,” Dean commented already downing the nachos. 

“Rabbit food isn’t that bad,” Sam mumbled, Of course, already munching on some Salad. Dean and him playfully argued before Castiel spoke. 

“Dean, I-I hit the ice-” Castiel choked trying to blame himself. 

“No.” Dean held out a finger towards his face. “You stop it right now, Castiel Anthony Novak.”

“Dean! I’m trying to apologize!” Castiel sobbed into his hands getting frustrated with him. 

“For what?” Dean scoffed. “For the ice being thin? For you diving in to save my life when I went under. For trying to keep me calm enough to keep me afloat for as long as I was so rescue could come?” 

“I hit the ice-” Castiel choked wiping his tears.

“So did I! With my fat ass!” Dean laughed blowing him off. “You hitting the ice didn’t break it, my fat ass falling on it did the trick.” Alexander woke sometime in the conversation and was laughing at the sound of Dean saying fat ass. “See, even he is laughing because it’s true!” Alexander sat up with his bed head laughing as Dean smiled at the cute little one. “Are you laughing because I said butt?”

“Yes.” Alex snorted as he sat up sitting on Dean’s lap. Alexander already helping himself to Dean’s nachos. 

“Get your own!” Dean stated playfully which he didn’t mind sharing. Alexander happy to steal more. Dean grabbed his face pressing kisses to his face every time he stole a chip which made Alexander squeal. Soon Abigail was joining in after being woken up by her brother’s screams. The twins laughing, Sam and Lucifer having a casual conversation. Everyone was fine. Everyone...was okay. It wasn’t till visiting hours were over that everyone moved to say goodbye. Lucifer was going to take the twins for the night and Sam was going to spend the night at Gabriel’s so Castiel could stay in the hospital with Dean. Everyone said goodbye, giving Dean and Castiel extra hugs and kisses before the twins said goodbye. Dean waved them out as Castiel stared at him with care. Dean turned to him without a care in the world. 

“Are you done blaming yourself?” Dean asked as Castiel shrugged moving his chair closer to Dean to hold his hand which Dean enjoyed. “...I don’t blame you at all.”

“You don’t have to blame me,” Castiel whispered as Dean sighed sadly kissing his knuckles.

“I’m  _ okay, _ babe,” Dean whispered back as Castiel nodded softly wiping tears that didn’t fall. He had been all cried out. 

“I was so scared I lost you,” Castiel admitted.

“Hey, I’m not going anywhere,” Dean reassured. “I refuse death.” Dean waved his hand dramatically. “Told him to lose my number. My boyfriend would cry if I wasn’t there.” Castiel laughed at that. Dean smiled seeing him smile for the first time that day. 

“It made me realize a lot, Dean. Like a lot.” Castiel glanced up to him looking him in the eyes as Dean eyed his face sadly. 

“Like what?” Dean asked.

“Like how much I love you,” Castiel admitted. “How I would be lost without you, how the twins would be so broken up if you weren’t around.” 

“You’re so sweet,” Dean admitted tearing up cupping Castiel’s face but Castiel just leaned into it. 

“...I know this isn’t the time or place and I don’t have anything to give you but.” Castiel moved onto his knee as Dean’s breath was taken from him seeing Castiel...on his knee. Was Castiel…? “Dean, would you do me the honor of being the second Mr. Novak...after me of course?” Castiel beamed cheesely. Dean covered his mouth in surprise as tears welled up in his eyes. 

“Shut up.” Dean choked which made Castiel chuckle. “This isn’t funny.”

“I’m definitely not being funny, Mr. Novak.” Castiel grabbed a twist tie from the bag and wrapped it around Dean’s finger tying it. Dean choked out in a sob just looking at the shitty twist tie, Castiel cupped his face and kissed his tears away. “I’m assuming those tears are a yes.” 

“...Of course, stupid.” Dean whispered pulling him into a loving kiss. Castiel had to admit, besides the first moment of holding the twins in his arms...this was the best moment of his life. 


	15. Planning to keep you

Dean pressed lazy kisses against Castiel’s lips, they had woken up before their alarm and were just slowly making out in the bed. Dean had gotten home yesterday and Castiel hadn’t let him leave his side since then. Dean thought it was so cute. Castiel always had his hands on him as he worriedly refused to let go. 

The alarm went off, which Dean sighed lazily breaking the kiss. 

“I don’t wanna go to school.” Dean pouted just wanting to hold his lover and laze around the house. 

“Then don’t,” Castiel spoke only to get hit in the head with a pillow. Castiel chuckled as Dean stuck his tongue at him getting up to get ready. “I’ll wake up the kids.” 

“Okay, meet you in the kitchen?” Dean spoke as Castiel moved up the stairs to Alexander’s room, Castiel jumped onto Alexander’s bed. Making the child fly up at the hit, Alexander broke into laughter as he collapsed onto the bed. 

“DADDY!” Alexander spoke sitting up once he landed. 

“Time for school.” Castiel ruffled his messed up hair. Castiel helped him out of bed. “Did you pee?” Alexander shrugged. Castiel felt the bed, which was dry. Castiel then changed Alexander out of his clothes. Castiel started to change him into regular underwear when he noticed how dry the pull up was. “Good job buddy! First night dry!” 

Castiel held up a hand giving him a high five as Alexander beamed with pride. This was the first time Alexander hadn’t peed the bed since moving in with Castiel full time.

“We can save these tonight,” Castiel started putting them onto the bed. 

“Thanks, daddy.” Alexander beamed so happily. 

“Finished getting dressed, I got to wake up your sister.” Castiel ruffled his hair before getting up going to wake up Abigail. However, Dean was already helping her get dressed which Dean always seemed to get ready quickly to help. Castiel watched him dressing the half-asleep Abigail before he turned to finish helping Alexander get dressed. 

_________________________________________________________________________

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Dean rushed them out the door after they ate their big breakfast. The kids trying to talk both Dean and Castiel’s ears off as Dean brought them towards the front door. 

“Tell daddy when we get home, we are going to be late,” Dean spoke as the twins continued to talk but walked towards the door. Dean turned to Castiel happily giving him a quick peck. “I love you, I’ll see you tonight.”

“I might be a little late, I have my meeting,” Castiel spoke as Dean nodded kissing him again. “Love you!” 

“Good luck.” Dean beamed before leaving out the door. 

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Dean put his hand down just as the recess bell rang, Dean waved the kids to go enjoy their break which the kids happily left the classroom. Dean eyed the twins leaving chuckling to himself hearing them discussing with their friends about who gets to be it on tag. Dean turned to clean the board as the last of the kids pile out. 

Dean heard his door to his classroom close, which he sighed turning to go reopen it. When he noticed Cain standing in the room. Dean tensed moving to him trying not to be scared. 

“You need to leave before they put the class on lockdown!” Dean hissed but Cain grabbed his wrist twisting it cruelly. Dean cried out in pain as Cain pinned him from behind. Dean tried to fight him as Cain pressed against him whispering in his ear. 

“I miss having you like this,” Cain whispered but Dean tried to break free and punch him. 

“What do you _ want _ from me?!” Dean hissed. 

“I want what I am  _ owed _ .” Cain hissed cruelly twisting Dean’s arm harder. “Our arrangement was forever, and you sneaking out in the middle of the night doesn’t change our deal.”

“Let me go or I’ll scream.” Dean snapped when the door opening made Cain pull away from Dean. Dean cradling his injured arm close moving away from Cain.

“What’s going on here?” A man asked looking between Dean and Cain. 

“He was  _ just _ leaving.” Dean hissed. Cain looked like he might punch Dean in the face in anger but the man grabbed Cain’s arm forcing him out of the classroom. Dean breathed in relief once he was gone, leaving in the opposite direction moving to grab an ice pack from the school nurse. 

_____________________________________________________________________

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


The man carried Cain roughly by his arm towards the back of the school and out of school grounds, Cain eventually tugged his arm free pissed off. 

“I get it! Let go!” Cain snapped fixing his jacket with annoyance. “What a shit security guard, I can sue, you know!”

“I’m not a security guard, but I did come here for a reason.” The man spoke. 

“What are you? Some white knight?” Cain scoffed. “Here to save the damsel?” Cain started to walk away when the man’s voice made him stop.

“I’m looking for you, Cain.” The man stated as Cain turned to puff his chest. 

“Who the fuck is asking?” Cain spoke ready for a fight but the man stood unimpressed. 

“You might know me. My name is Alastair.” Alastair spoke making Cain’s hair stand on end. He knew who this was, he had never met him but he knew his reputation.

“What...What did you want?” Cain’s voice sounded more respectful, and a bit more fearful. 

“You are bothering me with...whatever this is,” Alastair commented waving his hand in a circle, before pulling out a checkbook and a pen. “How much to make you go away?” 

“Why, you want the slut?” Cain commented eyeing him. 

“You are just in my way. I have things to do.” Alastair commented.

“He’s mine, I won’t give him up,” Cain stated as Alastair sighed annoyed unclicking his pen before he nodded to someone behind Cain. Cain yelped when a bag was placed over his head and two men moved to pull him into a van nearby. Alastair rolled his eyes being tossed Cain’s car keys from Cain’s pockets. 

“I tried to be nice.” Alastair sighed lazily before getting into Cain’s car getting rid of the evidence. 

_____________________________________________________________________________

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Dean was paranoid walking the kids to his car, Dean kept looking back and forth as he got the kids into the car. Dean tensed when a teacher called his name giving them a wave goodbye. Dean waved back trying not to make people concerned. Dean only calmed when they got on the road. 

“You okay, mommy?” Abigail asked worried about Dean. 

“Yeah, I’m okay,” Dean reassured smiling at her in the rearview window. Dean went home, he took the kids walking them through the house to make sure Cain wasn’t in wait. Dean relaxed once the house was checked and the house was secure, Dean led them to the kitchen, helping them out of their snow boots and coats. Dean pulled off his snow coat as well as a suit jacket, gaining the attention of Abigail who noticed the bruises on his arm. 

“Mommy, are you okay?” Abigail gasped seeing his arm, Dean pulled down his sleeve trying to hide it. 

“Yeah, baby.” Dean ruffled her hair. “I just fell during work.”

“When?” Abigail asked concerned. 

“When you guys were at recess,” Dean reassured her petting her back as he led her to the kitchen. 

“It looks like it hurts,” Alexander stated. 

“It doesn’t. I’m okay, It doesn’t hurt.” Dean lied as the front door unlocked. Dean tensed when the chain on the lock blocked the door from being open. 

“Dean?” Castiel asked concerned as Dean relaxed walking over unlocking the chain for him. 

“Hey, babe.” Dean smiled relaxing so much more than his fiance was home. 

“Why was the chain locked?” Castiel asked as Dean’s smile faded. Dean looked down moving away from the twins with Castiel. 

“Cain showed up at work and I’m a little freaked,” Dean commented. 

“Dean, why didn’t you call me?” Castiel asked concerned touching his arm as Dean hissed pulling his arm away. Castiel paused before carefully pulling up his arm without fighting him about it. Castiel saw the bruising on Dean’s arm. “He did this?”

“I’m okay, Security saw him out,” Dean commented softly as Castiel examined the wounds. “Ouch.”

“Sorry,” Castiel commented concerned. 

“It’s okay, it’s swollen,” Dean whispered not wanting to alert the children. 

“We should call the cops,” Castiel stated. “You have a restraining order-”

“I don’t know where he is. I can’t send the cops to deal with him till I do.” Dean breathed. “He does this. Just shows up for a bit and bounces. We won’t see him again for a while.”

“Next time we see him, we are calling the cops,” Castiel spoke as Dean nodded. 

“One hundred percent.” Dean agreed. Castiel nodded before he glanced at Dean’s arm. 

“...Let’s get you some pain meds and some ice. I’ll make lunch while you rest it.” Castiel commented. “Unless you need to go to the doctor?”

“No, One, officially never want to go back to a hospital and two the school nurse said it was just tender. I just need to rest it.” Dean shrugged, Castiel kissed his forehead. 

“Then rest. I got it.” Castiel beamed, Dean headed to the kitchen. Castiel handed him an Ice pack before he turned to the twins hugging them and giving them love. Dean glanced down at his phone as he iced his injured arm. Castiel noticed Dean looking at security cameras but didn’t say anything. Letting Dean do what he had to do to feel safe. Castiel pressed a kiss to Dean’s head as he slid over a small ring box to Dean. Dean paused seeing the black box next to him. Dean glanced up. “I can’t have you wearing a twist tie forever.” 

Dean cheered up as he moved to pick up and open the box, inside was a large silver wedding band with diamonds built-in. Dean swallowed seeing the ring, seeing how real it was. Castiel smiled seeing Dean’s taken back expression. 

“What is it, mommy?” Abigail sat up pausing her eating to see what Dean was looking at. Dean brought the ring to the children who gasped at how pretty it was. 

“Did you guys know Mommy is going to marry me?” Castiel asked as the twin gasped happily, Castiel took the ring from Dean sliding it onto his finger. Castiel kissed his hand as Dean smiled feeling like he would cry again. 

“Did you say yes mommy?!” The twins asked as Dean nodded. Abigail and Alexander squealed in their seats, starting to go off about how Dean was going to be their official mommy. 

“I wanted to talk to you about something,” Dean stated taking his hands with his good arm rubbing circles on his knuckles. 

“About what?” Castiel asked curiously. 

“I was thinking about adopting the children,” Dean spoke. “Since we are going to get married, I figured it was the perfect time to ask.” 

“What do you think guys, want mommy to adopt you?” Castiel asked as the twin nodded happily. 

“Yes, please.” The twins begged as Dean smiled moving to hug and kiss them. 

“As long as I have your permission to adopt Sam.” Castiel pointed at him, Dean smiled at him nodding.

“Permission granted.” Sam’s voice made them turned seeing Gabriel and Sam coming through the door. “How rich are you again?” Sam joked.

“Rich enough to support your brother and me, also pay for your colleges and not have a dent,” Castiel commented. 

“I support you.” Sam joked before noticing Dean icing his arm. “Dean, what happened?”

“I fell.” Dean waved him off. “I was clumsy.” 

“...Cain.” Sam stated knowing Dean’s excuses by now. “Did he drop by?”

“...” Dean nodded. “He got escorted out. I’m okay.” Sam moved to look at the wound when he noticed the ring on Dean’s finger. 

“Holy shit, are you two...?” Sam asked. Dean nodded as Sam moved to happily hug him before he pulled away to hug Castiel. “Congrats. Welcome to the family.”

“I’m so happy to have you both in my life.” Castiel breathed hugging him kissing Sam’s forehead. 

“Sam, does that mean you’re our big brother?” Alexander commented as Abigail gasped in realization super happy, despite the fact Sam would be their uncle. Sam didn’t seem to mind the labeling.

“I’m our biggest brother.” Sam kneeled to them as Abigail and Alexander hugged him happily talking about how they loved Sam. Dean watched them with care as Castiel finished making everyone lunch. 

“Gabriel, will you be staying for Lunch?” Castiel asked. 

“I got to get home and check on my grandpa but I just wanted to say hi.” Gabriel waved. “Yo, Dean, new episode of Doctor Sexy tonight.” 

“Yes!” Dean beamed thumbing him up, Sam groaned at the fact his boyfriend and Dean both liked Doctor sexy. 

“Nerds,” Sam called as Gabriel and Dean fist-bumped. 

“I’ll see you later.” Gabriel kissed Sam's forehead before he left out the front door. Dean waved goodbye before hissing at his movement with his arm.

“That’s it. To bed.” Castiel called as Dean cradled his arm. 

“But I don’t want to,” Dean whined. 

“Come on, I don’t want you to hurt your arm anymore.” Castiel cooed hugging him, Dean listened as Castiel walked him to the bed. Making him a makeshift cast with a shirt. Castiel carefully tended to him in the bedroom as Sam turned to serve the kids. 

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Alastair stared down at Cain’s lifeless body. Alastair pulled his phone out of his pocket placing it to his ear. 

“So they’re home?” Alastair commented. “Keep an eye on them, I want to know their daily routines.” Alastair hung up. He moved to the car, clicking open the trunk. Lisa screamed with her gag as Alastair pulled her from the trunk forcing her towards the bridge. Lisa looked down at the end of the bridge. Alastair pinned her against the bridge forcing her to look down at the dead body of Cain. “You see him? That should have been you the second you tried to undermine me with your shit at the safe place.” 

Lisa continued to cry and sob into her gag, Alastair made sure she got a good look at him before he waved the men to dump him into the river with a large weight weighing them down. Alastair grabbed her by her hair forcing her back into the trunk before he closed it on her. She started to kick and scream in the trunk. 

“SHUT UP!” Alastair screamed as Lisa stopped struggling inside just sobbing inside. Alastair turned to the men. “I got rid of the car. Go lock her back up after our field trip.”

“Alastair! Please!” Lisa’s voice sounded, Alastair made a face moving to open the trunk. “ I-I don’t want to be locked up again! I-I’ll do anything. Please. I-I’ll be good!” She held onto his shirt with her bound hands. Alastair sighed annoyed.

“I can’t trust you,” Alastair commented. 

“P-Please, I-I can prove to you! I-I’m good. I-I’m useful.” Lisa begged as Alastair sighed. 

“I’ll think about it,” Alastair said rolling his eyes. 

“W-Well. S-Since you’re thinking about that…” Lisa’s eyes begged. He didn’t have to guess what she was asking for. 

“Get in the trunk.” Alastair sighed as Lisa lit up getting back into the trunk happily, wiping the tears from her face. Alastair snapped his fingers to one of his henchmen, Alastair got some drugs for her which Lisa breathed out in relief watching him moving to inject her. She breathed in relief as he simply closed the trunk on her already zoning from her high. “Fucking Junkies.” 

Alastair got in the car as his henchmen drove them both away. 

____________________________________________________________________________

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Dean and Castiel collapsed after sex, tiredly turning to kiss against each other relaxing against each other before Dean laid his head on Castiel’s chest. 

“How is your arm feeling?” Castiel panted. 

“Better.” Dean glanced at his bruising arm. “It looks worse than it is.”

“It is worse,” Castiel commented. “You shouldn’t have any marks on you. Especially from him.”

“I’m covered in marks from you.” Dean snorted as Castiel smiled eyeing his face moving to kiss him. 

“Hickies don’t count.” Castiel hummed as Dean smiled into the kiss. They kissed lazily against each other holding each other as Dean slid his hand down Castiel’s inner thigh only to flinch in one wrong movement of his hand. “No no, you need to rest that hand. I came enough.”

“I’m right-handed, this sucks!” Dean groaned cradling his injured arm. 

“I guess no handjobs for me till it heals.” Castiel teased. 

“Well, there goes round two.” Dean teased back as Castiel kissed his forehead pulling him close. 

“I can’t wait to marry you.” Castiel breathed as Dean smiled to himself rotating his ring on his finger as they talked. 

“I never thought I was the type to marry,” Dean admitted. “I never thought I would be free of Cain. I never thought anyone could accept my past...I never thought I could trust someone enough with my heart.”

“I'm glad you were wrong,” Castiel commented. “Because if you said no I might have cried.”

“You would have.” Dean glanced up at him with a loving smile. 

“...Yeah, I would have.” Castiel admitted as Dean chuckled. 

“We should start planning it.” Dean sighed nuzzling into his warm. “Where do you want to have it?”

“Maybe the beach,” Castiel commented. 

  
“That would be cool. With rustic wedding vibes.” Dean stated. 

“Maybe we can do it in Hawaii?” Castiel asked. 

“Mm.” Dean shrugged not liking the idea. “I feel like it would have to be very Hawaii themed if we did.”

“Ooh, Can we do those black beach wedding?” Castiel asked. “I always wanted to go.”

“Black beach?” Dean asked. 

“There are a couple of beaches with black sand,” Castiel commented. “One in Iceland.”

“I would be down.” Dean smiled. “White suits would stand out.”

“We could have everyone wear grey or black and we can stand out wearing white suits. “ Castiel explained as Dean lit up.

“I would love that,” Dean admitted with love as Castiel kissed him. 

“Go to bed, you need to get up for work tomorrow,” Castiel stated as Dean closed his eyes, snuggling into Castiel’s chest. Castiel laid with him petting his hair till both Dean and him eventually passed out. 


	16. Mary, Mary, quite contrary, How does your garden grow?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Flashback to past child abuse

Dean walked out of his bedroom with Castiel gone to get the kids donuts in as Dean walked over to the youngest little Novaks rooms. Dean entered Alexander’s bedroom kneeling in front of his bed. Dean pet the young boy’s hair softly and slowly waking him. 

“Time to get up, birthday boy,” Dean whispered pressing a loving kiss against Alexander’s forehead with care before Alexander moved to get up. “Did you pee?” Alexander shook his head no. Dean gave him a kiss on the head holding him in a hug. “I’m so proud of you baby, is talking to Ms. Becky helping?” Alexander nodded. 

“She’s nice,” Alexander spoke. “She’s helping me with my bad dreams.” 

“What did you dream about last night?” Dean asked grabbing him the birthday clothes Castiel and Dean had bought for the kids to wear to school.

“I dreamed of all of us going to the zoo,” Alexander commented tiredly Dean helping him change into his birthday clothes. 

“Well, that’s what we planned,” Dean commented. “Sam and Gabriel have been setting up your birthday party since Gabriel and his mom works there.” Dean got him all dressed pausing when Castiel came in with Abigail all dressed up in her birthday clothes. 

“Happy birthday, baby boy!” Castiel spoke as Alexander moved to hug his leg. “Officially sixteen.”

“We are six, daddy,” Abigail spoke. 

“Oh, right, right.” Castiel playfully commented as Abigail held her arms out for Dean as Dean took her nuzzling into her. 

“Happy birthday, little girl.” Dean breathed as Abigail held him close nuzzling back to her mom. “Come on, Daddy Castiel got donuts!” The twins lit up despite being so tired as they were walked to the kitchen.

_____________________________________________________________________________

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Dean watched the twins running around the classroom where they were enjoying their mini party, Dean always allowed kids to celebrate their birthday in his class. Dean’s arm throbbed with the light pain as it healed. Dean took a sip of his cup of juices from the stuff he brought for the party. Caring about everyone’s food needs, everyone seemed to enjoy the food. Dean himself was enjoying a snack. Dean chewed softly hearing the kids playfully talking in the party circle. Where all the kids wound talk and eat in a little circle on the floor. Dean heard a knock on the door of the classroom which Dean got up moving to it. Dean opened it seeing the man who had saved him yesterday. 

“Can we talk?” The man asked as Dean nodded. Dean got out of the classroom, closing the door. “Dean Winchester, I’m sorry about yesterday. I wanted to apologize for allowing him to get past our security yesterday.”

“It’s okay, he must have sneaked in,” Dean commented. 

“Well, I wanted to introduce myself. I’m Alastair, the head of security at the school. I wanted you to know he will no longer be a problem.” Alastair smiled. 

“Thank you, I appreciate it.” Dean smiled. “When did you start? I thought Azazel was head of security.”

“He retired,” Alastair commented. “...Won the lotto.”

“Ah, good for him,” Dean stated. “Well, thank you for coming around. I have to get back to class.”

“Nice to meet you, Dean. I look forward to working with you.” Alastair smiled. Dean smiled as he re-entered the classroom. Alastair’s smile faded as he walked away. 

Dean sighed as he watched the twins playing and laughing enjoying the party. Dean’s thoughts drifting as he took a seat back at his desk taking a sip of his coffee letting his mind wander...birthdays always brought up bad memories. 

__________________________________________________________________

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Dean: The past**

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Dean’s eyes opened as the sound of vomiting made him wake from his sleep. He checked the clock, it was very late at night. Dean groaned forcing himself from the bed as he wondered what the noise was. Dean walked towards the bathroom, the only light in the dark house.

“It’s okay, Sammy.” Mary’s voice cooed as Sam coughed and vomited into the toilet. Dean’s eyes widened when he realized what was going on. Mary forcing Sam to sit up in between vomiting to force-feed something into his mouth. “It’s going to make you feel better-”

“STOP!” Dean panicked bolting over to Sam, Mary was shoved back as Dean grabbed onto Sam picking him up. Sam was so small in his arms, so weak. Sam almost fell over at the small touch. Sam’s head fell forward, Dean’s body the only thing keeping him from collapsing. Sam’s mouth fell open as vomit came out of his almost lifeless body and onto the floor. Dean noticed the bottle his mother held. “Ipecac.” He spat angrily. “You gave him an almost full bottle of Ipecac!”

“He’s sick! I’m trying to make him better!” Mary snapped. “The doctors never understand! This will make them look!” 

“NO! Making him sick doesn’t do anything but get you sympathy!” Dean screamed at him, hearing his brother wheeze from the side effects. 

“You are both sick!” Mary started to cry, trying to manipulate him like everyone else. “Just like your father! They didn’t take him seriously too! And now he’s dead! I’m trying to save you!”

“THE HELL YOU ARE!” Dean hissed, Mary tried to cup his face but Dean shoved past her. He didn’t make it far before Sam started to violently convulse in his arms knocking them both to the ground. “Sammy?!” Dean looked down in worry and panic before he quickly got up leaving the room.

“Sam?” Mary moved to him. “I-I’m taking him to the hospital, baby it’s going to be okay.” She scooped him up but he convulsed too violently to be held and Mary dropped him every time. Mary panicked staring down at her son who continued to gasp for air. Dean collapsed next to her with the phone to his ear. 

“Yes, he’s still breathing. P-Please. Hurry.” Dean commented as Mary looked concerned towards the phone. “O-Okay. I-I’ll stay on the phone with you.” Mary noticed something off about Dean. His avoidance to look at her. His eyes avoiding her as he forced himself to look at Sam. 

“...Let’s carry him to the kitchen.” Mary breathed once Sam’s body had calmed his convulsions, even if only slightly. She forced him into his arms. 

“They said not to move him!” Dean panicked but Mary didn’t listen stubbornly taking him downstairs. “MOM!” Mary almost dropped him down the stairs when the child started to convulse again. “MOM STOP!” Mary placed Sam onto the table rather roughly as Sam continued to vomit while unconscious. “MOM! STOP! HE’S GOING TO CHOKE!” 

Dean dropped the phone moving to turn Sam’s head to keep him from choking on his vomit. Dean felt tears sliding down his face as he tried to reassure Sam it was going to be okay. Though he was only saying it for himself, he turned to scream at his mom when he felt a sharp pain stab into his belly. 

“I won’t let them take you from me.” Mary hissed upset. Dean choked out in pain as Dean looked down at his stomach with a knife in it. Dean held onto his mother in the pain as she pulled out the knife. Dean collapsed onto the floor as Mary choked out looking at the knife in her hands. Taken aback by what she had done, a voice made her snap out of her thoughts. 

“Drop the knife and put your hands up.” A man spoke, Mary didn’t have to turn around to know who it was. She dropped the knife putting her bloody hands into the air, She was grabbed quickly her hands and forcing it behind her back. Handcuffs were placed on her wrists. 

A police officer scooped Dean off the floor as Dean cried holding his wound. 

“It’s okay, I got you.” The man spoke as Dean sobbed curling into him. “We got an ambulance outside.”

“S-Sammy, grab Sammy first!” Dean grunted but the cop led him outside as Paramedics moved inside. 

“Your brother will be fine, We have people inside tending to him. But how about someone worries about you for a change.” The man spoke helping Dean into another Ambulance to rush him to the hospital. 

  
  
  
  
  


_________________________________________________________________

**Sam: Now**

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Sam sat working on the last minute stuff for the twin’s birthday party, he had been stressing about it for weeks since he asked Dean and Castiel to let him plan it. Castiel had given him the money and Sam had used it well. He got a pretty cool cake, had the zoo set up a party area for them. Gabriel helped by finding some Zoo themed party decorations. 

  
  


“Sam, how are you still worried about the party, everything is done,” Gabriel spoke surprised but Sam still worried. 

“It deserves to be perfect,” Sam commented as Gabriel groaned.

“It will be, Mr. Perfectionist.” Gabriel elbowed him. Sam shrugged. “What have you to worry about?”

“I don’t know.” Sam ran his fingers through his hair searching to make sure the cake would be ready on time. “The twins had a bad year, I want to make sure they at least have a good birthday.”

“They didn’t have an entirely bad year,” Gabriel commented. “They met you guys and I know they adore you.”

“I know.” Sam shrugged smiling. “...but when I was a kid. My brother would always go all out for me. Even when we were in the hospital. I just… birthdays meant the world to me. I feel like that is the best gift I can give them. A perfect birthday.” 

“You are so adorable.” Gabriel wrapped his arms around Sam. Sam melted into the touch before their lips pressed against each other. They slowly made out in the hall when Sam sighed pulling back. 

“Come on, we have to get going as much as I would love to keep making out with you in the hall.” Sam smiled, Gabriel’s took his hand with a sigh happy his boyfriend was so cute. Though they hadn’t made it official, it seemed to have just been accepted as fact after coming clean at dinner the first time they met Dean. Ever since then they have kinda just been together. Gabriel...honestly wouldn’t have it any other way.

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**Sam: The past**

  
  
  
  
  


Sam coughed and gagged in the hospital bed, weak and sickly after his mother’s arrest. He, like Dean, had to remain in the hospital this time. For what their doctors admitted was hopefully the last. Sam heard the door to his bedroom open, seeing Dean being wheeled in from his stay in the intensive care unit. Sam had his room, and a police officer outside his door for his protection since their mother was out on bail until the trial. Dean...had it worse this last time. Dean needed surgeries after his mother had attacked them while being arrested for child abuse.

“Hey, Sammy.” Dean breathed weakly as the nurse left them alone, his eyes were sunken in. He looked like death had come weeks ago and forgot to take him.

“Dean.” Sam breathed weakly as Dean reached over taking his hand. 

“The doctors said you were doing better,” Dean whispered as Sam nodded. 

“I feel a bit better.” The child whispered back with a shrug upset he was getting better and Dean was still suffering. 

“Good.” Dean smiled. “...So I was told you can eat solids again starting today.” Dean glanced at the clock that said it was midnight. “You up to eating?” Sam shrugged as Dean opened his cupped hands pulling a small mini cupcake onto his tray. It was small. About the size of his thumb tip to his first knuckle. Sam smiled softly looking at his brother who beamed at him. “I also got you some balloons.” 

Dean pulled out two doctor gloves with smiley faces drawn by Dean, Sam giggled at the hand balloons taking them into his hand and holding them. Sam never felt so happy, tears slid down his face as Dean wiped them with care. Dean took a gloved hand balloon moving to playfully wipe his tears with it. 

“No cry,” Dean spoke making his voice squeak as Sam laughed to himself feeling Dean slapping him playfully with the balloon. “...Sorry buddy, I couldn’t get you a present. I had to sell my soul to the nurse for the cupcake.” Sam giggled.

“It’s okay, this is awesome.” Sam cradled the tiny cupcake smiling down at him with care. “Thanks, Dean.” Dean stared at him for a long time, before Dean softly ruffled his hair. 

“Wanna try to eat it?” Dean offered as Sam nodded moving to take a small bite of his little tiny cupcake. Sam whimpered in swallowing, his body still rejecting the idea of solid food. He had been on a liquid diet for a while now. “Easy...want me to cut it up?”

Sam weakly nodded Dean moving to rip it up for him, taking care of making small sections of it. When it was in small pieces, Sam took a small piece letting it almost melt in his mouth. 

“...Dean?” Sam asked. 

“Yeah?” Dean glanced up as Sam looked up. 

“...Mom’s not coming back for us, right?” Sam asked worriedly. 

“No, Sam, she won’t,” Dean reassured. Sam whimpered and starting to cry. 

“I-I’m sorry, I-I brought her up-” Sam sobbed.

“Sam, I promise. She’s not coming back.” Dean worriedly took care of his brother cried. 

“But she said she would.” Sam sobbed. 

“I promise, Sam. She won’t. I promise.” Dean pet Sam’s hair with care. “Don’t let her bother you, especially on your special day. Me, the doctors, and the policeman outside will keep her away. Okay?” Sam nodded as Dean smiled at him. “Now, tell me what you want to do when we get out of here.”

“...I want to see a Sloth.” Sam commented shyly as Dean smiled. 

“Okay, I’ll take you to the zoo,” Dean commented. “I will happily check out the zoo, maybe even one with a petting zoo.”

“Can I pet a Sloth?” Sam asked as Dean gave a sad smile.

“I don’t think so, buddy. But I will see what I can do.” Dean spoke as he grunted in pain holding his wound on his stomach. 

“...Mommy tried to hurt us really bad.” Sam commented. 

“Yeah…” Dean admitted. “But she won’t hurt us anymore. Not ever again.”

“...Why did mommy hurt you with the knife?” Sam asked looking at the wound. 

“I don’t know, Sammy...I don’t know why she does a lot of things.” Dean admitted as Sam looked down. 

“Time to get you back to bed, Dean. You have another dose of medication due.” The nurse spoke coming in as Dean took Sam’s hand. 

“I’ll be back soon, tiger.” Dean gave it a comforting squeeze as Sam blew him a kiss watching Dean get wheeled away leaving Sam alone.

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**Sam: Now**

  
  
  
  
  
  


Sam and Gabriel got out of his car carrying the cake and presents. Sam walked into the back entrance of the Zoo’s party room, which Gabriel and Joanna had reserved for the twins' birthday. Sam beamed at the themed set up the zoo offered, there were monkey themed plates and animal table cloths. Sam was so happy with how it turned out. 

Gabriel set down the birthday cake, as Sam set down the gifts Dean, Castiel, and the combined Sam and Gabriel had bought them. 

“Gabriel! Sam! Here are the balloons!” Joanna beamed coming in carrying the balloons the zoo had offered for them. They were perfect with the theme. 

“Jo! Thank you guys so much for helping out!” Sam hugged her. “I love it!” 

“No problem!” Joanna beamed hugging back. “I can’t wait to meet my son’s boyfriend's family.”

“Mom.” Gabriel blushed as Joanna smiled innocently. 

“What?” Joanna chuckled before she lit up remembering something. “I’m going to get the last thing.”

“What last thing?” Sam asked confused. Everything he had planned was already there...except the twins and such. Gabriel walked over, taking Sam’s hands with love and care. 

“I know we talk sometimes about...your mom and everything you went through,” Gabriel commented as Sam’s smile faded to a small sad smile. 

“Yeah...I know. It’s a lot.” Sam started looking away, feeling guilty about spilling his life on Gabriel.

“That’s not what I mean,” Gabriel started kissing his hand. “I love how you can be so honest with me, just as I can be so honest with you.” 

“I do too,” Sam admitted as Gabriel beamed. 

“...There was something you said that stuck with me, and I promised that I would do anything in my power to make it happen.” Gabriel admitted but Sam was confused even more. “...Remember when you told me, you almost got killed but all you could think about was wanting to pet a sloth? Because you love sloths to death and you couldn’t imagine dying without holding one?”

“Shut up.” Sam gasped pulling his hand away looking around the room just as Joanna brought in a small baby sloth. Sam covered his mouth, keeling over like the wind was knocked out of him. Sam blinked tears as Gabriel laughed with love holding his waist helping him back up straight. 

“Sam, this is a baby sloth that will be staying at my house for a while till he’s healthy to be back in his cage with his family,” Gabriel commented. “He’s just a little runt, so my mom’s going to make sure he gets big and strong.” Gabriel rubbed his back as Joanna handed over the baby sloth to Sam who instantly hugged it close. Sam sobbed petting and holding the sloth close. Listening to the little noises it made as it slowly moved in his arms. 

“I-I love him so much.” Sam broke out sobbed. 

“That’s not all, you get to name him.” Gabriel beamed as Sam whimpered and sobbed out a noise just burying his face into his fur. Gabriel laughed so much at a mess Sam was. Sam squeaking mumbles of what everyone assumed was words. 

“He’s too cute to think of names.” Sam choked as Gabriel laughed harder. 

“He’s too cute to name?” Gabriel repeated as Sam nodded. Sam was literally the cutest thing in the world. Sam pouting as he wiped his tears in his ugly cries. Gabriel admitted for an ugly cry it was the most beautiful crying in the world. Joanna took some pictures when the sound of the door opening made Sam turn to see the twins coming in so happily.

“What is that?!” Alexander freaked excited as Abigail freaked out happily running over. Sam kneeled to show them as the twins started to talk his ear off. Sam letting them pet the baby. 

“Hey, want to help me name them?” Sam offered the twins who nodded happily. 

“What about pie?” Abigail stated. “Cause he’s a cutie PIE!” 

“That’s so cute,” Sam admitted as the twins continued to talk and pet the baby sloth. Dean smiled at the sight leaning into Castiel who held Dean back. Gabriel looked to Dean who mouthed thank you to him for such the sweetest moment. Gabriel gave them a thumbs-up as the twins and Sam enjoyed the start of the birthday celebrations with Pie the sloth.


	17. Missing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tw: Underage consensual first-time with two older teenagers. Just in case it wasn't your thing? *shrug*

Dean walked towards the courthouse, the twins in tow. Castiel holding Alexander as Dean kept fixing Abigail’s dress which was a little big on her so it always moved loosely on her. 

“Sam! Come on, buddy!” Castiel called towards Sam who was getting his suit jacket from the car running to catch up. 

“Mommy, can we get McDonald’s?” Abigail asked as Dean reassured they would get food after this giving her forehead a loving kiss. Dean and Castiel keeping the twins happy as they went through the metal detector and down to their courtroom. When Dean and Castiel entered, they glanced at their watches knowing it was there turn soon. Dean and Castiel took a seat in the back of the room, loving shushing the twins who wanted to talk and weren’t used to quiet places. 

“Can I have the next case? Dean Winchester and Castiel Novak for custody of Abigail, Alexander Novak, and Sam Winchester.” The judge called as Dean helped the twins up from their seat and towards the front. Abigail and Alexander were so short at the desk, it was adorable. They got a couple of chuckles as Abigail stood on her tippy toes. “Alright, let’s get the bigger stuff out of the way. Which one of you is Castiel?” 

“I am,” Castiel commented as the judge glanced at the paperwork on his desk. 

“You want to co-adopt the teenager, Sam Winchester. Who is in legal custody of Dean Winchester.” The judge glanced up. “Is that correct?”

“Yes.” Castiel nodded. “We have been a family for a while now, and we want to make it official.”

“I see.” The judge nodded before he glanced at Sam. “Mr. Sam Winchester, you are sixteen?”

“Almost seventeen, sir.” Sam nodded.

“I believe you are a capable young man. You look like you were raised right. You know to answer with sir.” The judge commented, the room laughed. “Your guardian Dean and his partner Castiel have gone through all the legal processes to have him adopt you. I am the last thing they need. My approval. So I figured, this is your life. I don’t know them for anything. Mr. Sam Winchester, I will sign the approval right now if you don’t mind this man adopting you. So tell me, should I sign this order?”

“Y-Yes, sir.” Sam beamed as he nervously fixed his suit. “I-I would like that very much.” 

“Alright. One co-adoption signed.” The judge signed the paperwork as he glanced up at Castiel. “Congratulations, you now legally have three kids.” 

“Thank you.” Castiel beamed as he moved to pull Sam into a hug.

“Now, Dean Winchester-” The judge spoke as Abigail was trying to speak to Dean.

“Mommy!” Abigail spoke holding her bow that she had accidentally pulled out of her hair. Dean kneeled without hesitating to help put on her bow. 

“Abi. Shush, my love. The judge is talking.” Dean whispered as Abigail turned to the judge to look at him.

“Hi.” Abigail waved as the judge smiled waving at her. 

“I-I’m sorry.” Dean hesitated as he finished tying her bow.

“It’s okay, take your time.” The judge reassured till the twins were ready. “Why don’t you come up here with me. I can hardly see you.” The twins looked at Dean as Dean reassured them it was okay. The twins ran over to the front of the courtroom, the judge helped them up to his podium. The twins were helped onto his lap to be seen on the stand. “What are your names?”

“Abigail,” Abigail spoke but the judge held the microphone to. 

“And you?” The judge spoke. 

“Alexander,” Alexander stated shyly. 

“And who is your daddy?” The judge asked. The twins pointed to Castiel. “So your daddy is wanting me to approve Mr. Dean over there to adopt you. So what do you think?

“Yeah, he’s our mommy.” Abigail beamed. 

“He’s your mommy?” The judge laughed. “So you guys like him?”

“Yeah, He’s taking us to Mcdonalds,” Alexander explained, the courtroom laughed as the judge laughed. Dean looked embarrassed laughing at the kids. 

“We like McDonald’s.” The judge agreed chuckling. 

“So if I sign this, this will make Mr. Dean your parent forever.” The judge explained. “This is very serious. I want you guys to think long and hard about this okay? Would you like me to sign this paper?” Abigail nodded happily as Alexander put his hand on his chin. “What do you think Alexander?”

“Mommy, what should I say?” Alexander asked confused as Dean laughed, Castiel snorted and Sam was recording the whole thing on his phone. 

“What do you think he should say?” The judge chuckled to Dean.

“Say yes, Alexander,” Dean called as Alexander turned to the judge nodding. 

“Thank you for helping me decide, you can return to your parents.” The judge ushered them to return to their parents as Abigail and Alexander ran back to Dean, They grabbed his legs happily as Dean pet their hair with care. “Mr. Winchester, you understand the responsibility of legally adopting two children. It is different from adopting your younger brother. They will be two young children who will need you for not only the next thirteen years but for the rest of their life. Even if you and Mr. Novak break up, you will be a big part of not only theirs but his too for the rest of their lives. You will forever have to be connected to Mr. Novak with your children you co-parent. You understand that?” 

“Yes.” Dean nodded. “I understand.”

“Well, if you promise to feed little alexander there with a meal of Mcdonalds.” The judge spoke making everyone laugh. “As well as little Abigail, of course.”

“Can I get a Mcfluffy?” Abigail asked the judge as Dean shushed her with care. 

“Mcfluffy?” The judge asked as the parents chuckled.

“She likes Mcflurry’s and calls them Mcfluffy’s,” Castiel admitted. 

“I see.” The judge chuckled. “Mr. Winchester, Mr. Novak. I will sign this on the condition they get some… ‘Mcfluffy’s’. Sounds like a deal?” 

“Yes.” The adults breathed as the judge signed the paperwork. 

“Congratulations, you now have three gorgeous children. You are one big happy family…” The judge smiled as Dean hugged the twins. 

“Thank you, your honor.” Dean breathed so happily picking up the twins to take them out of the room. 

“No problem.” The judge smiled. “Next case.”

“BYE, MISTER!” The twins yelled as the judge laughed waving them goodbye as they left the courtroom. 

_____________________________________________________________________________

  
  
  


Dean tucked Alexander into bed as he tiredly and worn from the big day they had. Dean tucked him one by one into the separate sheets. Dean smiled down at the half-asleep boy who smelled currently of toothpaste after brushing his teeth. 

“Did you have a good day?” Dean asked as Alexander nodded. “Good.” Dean leaned down kissing his forehead.

“Mommy...are you really our mommy now?” Alexander asked. Dean understood the young child was asking if Dean was legally his parent now.

“Yes, baby,” Dean spoke as Alexander lit up. 

“Yay.” Alexander yawned as Dean smiled. 

“Did you want me to read you a bedtime story?” Dean asked as Alexander nodded.

“Me too, please!” Abigail spoke as Dean glanced up to see Castiel holding Abigail. Dean chuckled nodding as Castiel laid Abigail into Alexander’s bed. Snuggling into Alexander, Abigail watched Dean grab one of the library books from their backpack. Dean opened one and started to read. Castiel watched with care, moving to take a seat near Dean, relaxing as he listened to him read. 

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Sam laid curled into Gabriel who lazily made out in Gabriel’s bed, Sam paused when Gabriel sat up sitting on his waist. Sam’s hand moved to hold him. Gabriel eyeing Sam under him. 

“You know, despite my shortness, I’m definitely the  _ daddy _ in the relationship.” Gabriel pouted. 

“I mean, I can almost guarantee you, you secretly want to call me daddy.” Sam wiggled his eyebrows. 

“Pfft. I am definitely the bad boy, you’re just a nerd.” Gabriel said playfully annoyed. Sam turned to flip him pressing Gabriel into his bed. Gabriel eyed his face touching it with care, Sam had grown so much with their time together. Sam was now looking like an adult more than that baby face. Gabriel still had that baby weight. “I swear it was like I went to bed with us the same height and now you tower over me.” 

“I think you secretly love it,” Sam admitted as Gabriel shyly blushed. “It’s okay, you can admit you named me daddy in your phone.”

“...You better understand that means you have to give me your sweaters when I’m cold.” Gabriel caved as Sam chuckled. 

“Oh...but I really like my sweaters. I don’t want to give them up.” Sam teased as Gabriel beamed not so innocently. 

“You’ll like it more on me when I’m naked underneath.” Gabriel teased as Sam eyed his face amused. Gabriel wondered if he went too far, Sam moved to take off his large white sweater which Gabriel was handed. 

“Then prove it,” Sam stated. Gabriel was taken back by how very flirty sam got. Gabriel eyed his face curiously.

“Are...you sure?” Gabriel commented. “Are you ready for that, for us to go all the way?”

“My birthday is in two days.” Sam teased rubbing Gabriel’s inner thigh. 

“You’re lucky you’re cute,” Gabriel commented moving to the bathroom. Sam nervously palmed at his hands as he laid back in the bed trying to relax before he pulled off his shirt tossing it away. They have been dating for almost ten months now. It was normal for them to progress. Though Gabriel did have boyfriends before, he only ever fooled around a bit over the clothes. Sam on the other hand only ever got felt up before. They both were still virgins. 

Sam’s swallowed when the bathroom door opened and Gabriel came out wearing nothing but Sam’s sweater that indeed fit him like a very short dress. Sam chuckled at the cuteness as Gabriel thumbed to keep the sweater from exposing him. Gabriel straddled Sam, Sam blushed feeling Gabriel’s naked body against his shirtless body. Gabriel was getting hard and admittedly, Sam was too. 

“You’re too dressed... _ daddy _ .” Gabriel pouted playfully as Sam swallowed at his flirting. Gabriel barely had time to react as he was turned. Gabriel’s back hit the bed as Sam kneeled on top of him looking down. Gabriel’s eyes fell onto Sam’s hand moving to unbuckle his own jeans. Gabriel blushed seeing Sam slowly and shyly pulling himself free of his jeans and underwear. Gabriel forgot to breathe as he took in Sam’s body. Sam had grown a lot more than he had thought. 

“Where’s your lube?” Sam asked. Gabriel turned to look at his nightstand. Sam reached over grabbing it from the drawer before he spilled some onto his hardened cock. Gabriel watched him moving his hand on his own cock. Slathering it generously with the lube before he poured some on his fingers. They didn’t have to speak to communicate, as Gabriel simply understood to open his legs to Sam. Sam blushed both shyly exploring each other’s body as Sam moved his lubed fingers to Gabriel’s hole. 

“Easy.” Gabriel breathed holding Sam’s arm nervously. Gabriel watched Sam nod before he teased Gabriel’s hole before slowly sliding a finger in. It was admittedly uncomfortable, the pressure didn’t feel the best.

“I heard it has to adjust,” Sam spoke. 

“Where? In your romance novels?” Gabriel teased adjusting. Sam nodded as Gabriel smiled with love. “Want to try moving it?” Sam nodded with a swallow moving his finger slowly in and out. Gabriel had to admit, the more lube the better it felt. Sam took his time to adjust his hole and making sure Gabriel was ready for anything more if he continued. 

“So...how did we want to continue?” Sam asked as he slowly removed his fingers once Gabriel was adjusted. Gabriel sat up looking at Sam’s cock before he rotated Sam to be on the bed straddling him. 

“You’re kinda big and I...would feel better if I controlled how fast you...come in,” Gabriel admitted shyly as Sam nodded, too nervous to take the ego boost. Gabriel moved over Sam as he too was too nervous to breathe. “Can you-?”

“Y-Yeah.” Sam realized Gabriel was asking Sam to hold himself so...Gabriel to sit on him. Sam glanced up at Gabriel as Gabriel slowly and easily moved to sit on Sam. Gabriel breathed out in slight pain as he felt Sam’s head start to enter him. Sam moaned at the feel, one hand holding Gabriel’s hips to steady him, and the other on his own cock. 

“Shit, you’re big,” Gabriel mumbled nervously, Gabriel took a second to get passed his head, taking his time to slowly and easily take his cock. It wasn’t till Gabriel completely sat on Sam that either of them relaxed enough to breathe. 

“...Shit. We aren’t virgins anymore.” Sam joked as Gabriel adjusted to his size.

“Yeah, I mean. We haven’t finished but I guess we technically got that achievement.” Gabriel snorted. Sam made an achievement chime with a whistle which made them laugh. “Stop don’t make me laugh,” Gabriel stated still uncomfortable to move. 

“Sorry,” Sam admitted holding as still as possible so Gabriel could take his time. Gabriel moved his hips after a bit to get a bit more comfortable with his legs. Sam moaned softly as did Gabriel at the movement. 

“Okay, I-I think I can move.” Gabriel looked down before he slowly moved experimentally. Sam cursed as Gabriel let out a breathy moan. “Feels good?” 

“Yeah. Does it for you?” Sam asked as Gabriel nodded. Slowly Gabriel started to roll his hips moving them slowly at first. Gabriel moaned so fucking beautifully, Sam held his hips only to help rock up into him. 

“Fuck Sam, that’s good.” Gabriel whimpered as they moved in unison. Gabriel looked down at their Sam as Sam moved Sam’s sweater up to watch their bodies moving against each other. “Perv.” Gabriel panted but Sam just smiled. Taking their time to speed up, Gabriel arching his back after a while just letting Sam rock into him. Gabriel’s legs and thighs admittedly tired as Sam held Gabriel to his chest, and just roughly rocked into him. Gabriel looked up at Sam as he panted and gasped into Sam’s ear. “I’m so close.”

“I-I am too,” Sam admitted as Gabriel squeezed his eyes closed unable to hold it any longer as he came onto Sam’s bare chest in his orgasm. “C-Can I come inside-?” 

“Y-Yes. Fuck. Please Yes.” Gabriel begged as he continued to cum streams onto their bodies with each of Sam’s thrusts milking him dry. Gabriel yelped a bit when Sam slammed him down on his cock as deep as Sam could put himself, Moaning when Sam spilled himself deep inside Gabriel. Gabriel gasped at the feel, how odd it fell...how full. Sam panted taking his hands off Gabriel’s body to run his fingers through his sweaty hair. Gabriel panting looking down at the sexually satisfied Sam. “Satisfied?” Gabriel teased. 

Sam tiredly and weakly nodded just looking at him. Gabriel slid off Sam’s cock to collapse next to him. Cum spilling from him as Gabriel reached down touching the mess. 

“Fuck Sam, were you just holding that for me? That was gallons.” Gabriel teased as he grabbed a towel still wet from the shower earlier that day and cleaned himself then Sam. 

“Har har. You loved it.” Sam panted roughly between the words. 

“You should consider the track team because you keep going...and going.” Gabriel flirted like the adorable dork he was.

“You’re fucking stupid.” Sam laughed as he pulled Gabriel towards him kissing him. 

“...Happy early birthday, lovebug.” Gabriel commented as Sam kissed him back so content before Gabriel got up moving to the bathroom to use the restroom. “...I’m keeping this sweater by the way.” Sam watched his cute little curvy butt walk away with his movements exposing it. Sam sighed contently looking up at the ceiling. 

“I wouldn’t have it any other way.” Sam breathed, not relaxing till Gabriel returned to him. Crawling back into bed with him, Sam held him close nuzzling to him. Gabriel was the first to fall asleep. Pretty much curled fully asleep laying on Sam. Sam held him contently, his adorable little sweater sloth.

____________________________________________________________________________

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Dean woke tiredly the next morning pulling himself from Castiel who continued to snore. Dean leaned over pressing a loving kiss against Castiel’s forehead. Castiel grabbed Dean yanking him close as Dean laughed with love. 

“I want to marry you tomorrow,” Castiel mumbled. “Can we just go get married at a courthouse?” 

“Well, if you want to waste that money we already booked in Iceland. Then sure.” Dean teased as Castiel groaned. 

“I just want you to be Mr. Novak already,” Castiel whined as Dean kissed him.

“We are already rushing everything to have your wedding after your year of sobriety.” Dean snorted. “I said wait till next year to have more time-”

“I liked, so I  _ want  _ to put a ring on it.” Castiel sighed as Dean snorted. 

“I hate that song.” Dean pulled away from him. “SO overplayed.”

“Tough luck, that’s my vows,” Castiel started getting up. “Song lyrics stated very seriously and dance included.”

“...I’m planning out our divorce.” Dean turned walking away with a groan as Castiel snorted moving to follow. “I’ll get Abigail up.” 

“I got Alexander,” Castiel stated as they walked down the hall, Castiel cheesily attempting to hold Dean’s hand the entire time but Dean caved and let him so they got the kids up together this time. 

When it was time to go to school, the twins were up and ready for the day and Dean, on the other hand, was craving a coffee, which Castiel placed in his thermos. 

“Have a good day at school, my turkeys!” Castiel playfully gobbled as the kids giggled at the silliness. 

“Turkeys?!” Abigail giggled as Castiel tickled them. 

“Maybe you should go to teach my class with….all of that.” Dean teased as Castiel snorted. 

“Only a saint can watch children all day without break.” Castiel teased back kissing him. “And I plan to worship you when you get back?” 

“What  _ exactly _ do you have to offer your  _ god? _ ” Dean teased amused drinking his coffee. 

“I have a  _ mouth  _ and have a  _ very _ large-” Castiel started which Dean went wide-eyed and pulled the kids away from the dirty talk. 

“Byeeee,” Dean called taking the kids’ hands, the kids waved Castiel goodbye as Castiel watched them go. 

_______________________________________________________________________

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Dean drove the car singing along to the Disney soundtrack the kids had asked for every morning. Dean knew these songs by heart now but it made the kids happy so he didn’t mind the songs. The kids were currently screaming lion king’s ‘just can’t wait to be king’. Dean glanced back at the kids when he was at a stoplight. When a harsh hit from a car rear-ending him lurched the kids, scaring them enough to stop singing. Dean turned off the music and cursed, Dean turned to the kids checking if they were okay and they were just scared, nodding whimpering. The car pulled up to the side, seeing it was Alastair, Dean breathed in relief.

“Dean, I am so sorry, I looked away for a second,” Alastair commented as Dean nodded.

“It’s okay. Did you want to head to the school to exchange information?” Dean asked. 

“I don’t want to be that guy, but your back end is pretty bad. I don’t think it will make the trip. Why don’t you follow me, I’ll know a repair place near here we can get you sorted.” Alastair commented. 

“Mommy,” Abigail whispered seeing Alastair. She knew him. The twins both recognized him. 

“Okay.” Dean nodded as Alastair put on his hazards and started down an industrial road. Dean slowly followed hearing the back of the car scraping. He was right, his car was pretty messed up. 

“Mommy,” Abigail whispered again. 

“Yes, baby?” Dean asked as they turned down another side street getting more and more remote. 

“Mommy. I know him.” Abigail spoke in fear remembering the gun. “He has a boomstick.”

“That’s because he’s security Abi, they can carry them,” Dean reassured as he saw Alastair waving him forward telling him to park in front of his car. Dean pulled the car to a stop. 

“Mommy, no.” Abigail hissed as Alexander panted in a panic attack with fear. 

“I’ll be right back. I’m just going to check the damage.” Dean moved to undo his seatbelt before he offered her the phone to calm her down. “It’s going to be okay, Play a game, I’ll be one second.” Abigail tried to beg him to stay in the car but Dean got out. 

___________________________________________________________________________

  
  
  
  
  
  


Abigail panted in fear trying to call to Dean but her muffled yells were missed. Abigail needed to do something. Daddy. She needed Daddy. Daddy would save them. She looked down at her phone moving to the address book as they had first called Dean all those months ago. 

“What’s daddy’s name start with?!” Abigail panted asking Alexander as Alexander panted shaking his head in fear. 

“Daddy has a name other than daddy?” Alexander panted getting dizzy from his panic attack. 

“Think! Alex! Think!” Abigail panicked looking at the names she could barely read. “We have to call daddy.” The twins freaking out in the back seat. 

  
  


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“Let’s see the damage,” Dean called trying to be nice about the whole thing as he walked to the back of the car seeing Alastair lazily leaning against the hood of his own car. Dean shivered from the cold turning to see the back of his car. Dean paused. 

There...was nothing but a bump. Dean had heard dragging, he thought his whole bumper came off. 

Dean kneeled down seeing a metal chain attached to his bumper. Dean slid his fingers down the chain seeing a large anchor weighing down the car that seemed to have been shoved deep under his car in an attempt to hide it. 

Did...someone hit his car and place this on it while he was distracted checking on the kids so he would think the damage was worse than it was?

Dean stood turning to speak to Alastair when a metal pipe slammed into his head, knocking Dean to the ground with a harsh hit. Dean was out like a light slamming into the concrete blood spilling from his wound. 

Alastair eyed his accomplice, lazily pushing himself off the hood moving to usher to his two bodyguards in wait for his signal. They came scooping up Dean’s lifeless body placing him into the back of their van. 

“Be useful. Grab the car with the kids.” Alastair ushered to the accomplice, taking the metal pipe with a gloved hand putting it in the trunk. 

______________________________________________________________________________

  
  


“Cas!” Alexander panted upset as Abigail glanced up. “S-Sam calls daddy Cas!”

“W-What does Cas start with?” Abigail panicked looking down at the phone scrolling through the contacts.

“A ‘K’?” Alexander tried to sound it out. Abigail looked at the phone.

“No.” Abigail shook her head no in panic. “No ‘K’ in here.”

“C-....Ca…” The twins tried to sound it out, trying to place the sound with the letter. 

“C-C…” Abigail thought hard. “CAT!” Abigail gasped looking under C seeing only Castiel’s name. Abigail pushed it and put the phone to her ear earing a loud clank and a grunt as something or someone fell to the ground. 

“Dean?” Castiel’s voice sounded. 

“Daddy?” Abigail choked out in relief and panic. “Daddy! The bad man is here!” 

“Bad man?” Castiel paused instantly dropping the plate in the sink he was cleaning. “Abi, where are you, where’s Mommy?” 

“The bad man is out there. I-I don’t see mommy anymore.” Abigail tried to sit up out of her car seat the best she could but all she could see was Alastair talking to a couple of people out of view. “Alex, do you see mommy?”

“No.” Alexander panted started to see stars in his panic attack.

“Abigail, whose’s the bad man?” Castiel asked. 

“Alli.” Abigail hesitated. She always had a hard time saying his name. So They called him Alli. “Mommy’s friend.”

“Mommy’s friend...Mommy Dean’s?” Castiel asked.

“No!” Abigail shook her head no getting upset Castiel wasn’t understanding. Someone got into the car, making the twins jump at the sudden person in the car with them. They noticed the blood on their hands first as it gripped the steering wheel. The intruder in the car turned her sunken eyes over at them, looking more like a monster than the person once familiar to them. Black matted long hair with twigs and leaves. Her skin was pale with sores from scratching and irritating her skin. Her face was sunken in from malnutrition, her body involuntarily shook lightly and her teeth were rotten, a mixture of dark yellow and black. Alexander screamed in fear as pee slid down his leg at the sunken in thinning looking swamp witch. But Abigail recognized her. “...Mommy?” 

Castiel heard her call out before the phone call dropped. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	18. 1 Year

Castiel stood over his phone as the police detective listened to the audio of the phone call. The police officer sat at Castiel’s kitchen table, they were almost done listening to it. 

** _“Abi, where are you, where’s Mommy?” Castiel’s voice sounded._ **

** _“The bad man is out there. I-I don’t see mommy anymore...Alex, do you see mommy?” Abigail’s voice asked, there was a lot of shuffling picked up by the phone._ **

** _ “No.” Alexander faint voice sounded._ **

** _ “Abigail, whose’s the bad man?” Castiel asked again._ **

** **

** _“Alli.” Abigail hesitated. “...Mommy’s friend.”_ **

** _“Mommy’s friend...Mommy Dean’s?” Castiel questioned._ **

** _“No!” Abigail yelled at him. It was quiet before a moment and screams started from what was likely Alexander. “...Mo-mu-me?” _ **

_The phone broke up and the call was lost._

Castiel covered his face as Michael touched Castiel’s back rubbing his back comfortingly. Sam sat on the couch wiping his tears in worry, Gabriel comfortingly holding him. Lucifer was the only one besides Michael keeping it together. Without them, Castielwould have been unable to get them help.

“So how long has it been since you have seen your Fiancé and the kids?” The policeman spoke glancing up. 

“I saw him this morning at like nine. Before he headed to school with the kids.” Castiel sniffed trying to keep strong. 

“And he and the children didn’t arrive at their place of work?” The man spoke as Castiel shook his head no. “They never arrived.”

“Alright. We have people looking for their car and we have an amber alert out for the kids.” The man commented standing. “We are going to do everything in our power to bring them home.”

“Thank you.” Castiel breathed. 

“May I ask though, why you had a recording app on your phone?” The cop asked. 

“My children’s biological mother. She was losing her mind and started threatening me for money. I was told by my lawyer getting evidence against her to use for a restraining order and so I could make an argument to take the children.” Castiel admitted. “I forgot I even had it until I needed to hear the call again.”

“And your children’s biological mother... is it possible she is involved?” The cop asked.

“...Yes, I think so.” Castiel breathed holding himself. “When she said mommy’s friend. She told me it wasn’t Dean’s. So she must have been involved. It must have been her friend.”

“Do you happen to know any of her friends?” The cop asked. “Maybe some we could interview?”

“She used to work as a call girl,” Castiel spoke. “She brought some guy to my house before...I don’t think she told me his name. That’s the only one of her ‘friends’ I never met. I would call her boss Meg _ Licious _ . She works for the _ Honey maids. _ She would know anyone Lisa hung out with better than I did.”

“Thank you.” The cop walked away to speak to his partner about who they needed to interview. Castiel turned to look at Sam who was curled into Gabriel laying against his chest. Castiel moved over to softly touched the teen’s forehead.

“We are going to find them,” Castiel reassured trying to wipe his tears. “I promise.” Sam nodded as he sniffed wiping his tears. Sam moved to hug Castiel who hugged him back tightly. When Castiel pulled back he took a seat on the other side of the couch, Michael walked over with hot cocoa which Castiel took gratefully.

“Sorry, it’s not an icee.” Michael breathed. 

“It’s okay, I want a bottle of Vodka so this is the better option.” Castiel took a sip if the hot drink. “...I should be out there-”

“No. The police need you here in case a ransom happens.” Michael spoke. “They need you here to trace the call and to answer it. Give them what they want.” 

“I feel useless,” Castiel admitted holding himself. 

“Being here is more than enough,” Lucifer explained touching his back. When his phone went off on the table where he left it. Dean’s name flashed over the caller id. The police turned everyone went quiet as the police went over to try to trace it.

“Answer it. Remain calm.” The cop reassured handing the phone to Castiel when they were ready.

“Hello?” Castiel answered. He heard shuffling. No one spoke. It was like a but dial. Castiel tried again. He couldn’t make out anything but the phone shuffling around. Castiel gave the cops a confused look as they put it on speaker, but everything was so muffled no one could make out anything. The cop ushered the others to trace the call. 

________________________________________________________________________

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Abigail hit call on the phone she had hidden in her teddy bear where the battery pack pocket was, clutching the bear to her chest as she looked up at Lisa who was trying to make herself presentable in the reflective glass. Alexander sat in his pee soaked clothes just looking at her both kids sitting in a locked room.

“Where are we?” Abigail asked, this place wasn’t a house, it was a factor. “It’s spooky and gross.” 

“It’s a place where old cows go,” Lisa commented sugarcoating an old slaughterhouse, using her shirt to wipe the gunk off her teeth. 

Lisa turned looking less like an evil witch, but no matter what she did her emaciated look made the kids scared of her. She kneeled to Alexander clearing her throat as she looked down at his wet pants. 

“I-I found some spare clothes for you,” Lisa stated pulling out Dean’s emergency bag he always kept in the car in case of emergencies. “W-We don’t have a shower here, but I can hose you off. Come on. Let’s get you changed out of those nasty clothes.”

Alexander allowed her to strip him into just his underwear before she took his hand and walked him towards the door.

“W-Wait, I want to go too!” Abigail stated worried not trusting her mother to separate them.

“I need to clean him,” Lisa stated as Abigail tried to follow. “You both can’t be allowed to leave this room.”

“W-Why not?” Abigail tried but Lisa glanced at the camera in the corner of the room. Abigail’s eyes followed to the camera she just noticed. 

“I will bring him back,” Lisa commented. Abigail cried out trying to follow but Lisa slammed the door in her face. Abigail screamed and hit the door however no one came, no screams were heard. Abigail moved to the opposite wall, she slid down the wall holding her teddy bear close and cried. 

“A...Abi.” A weak voice made her glance up in fear. “Is that you?... Don’t cry...It’s...going to be okay...” 

Abigail followed the sound noticing it was coming from the grate near her, connecting the room across. Abigail laid down to look through the grate seeing Dean laying weakly in the middle of the connecting room. Dean laid on the ground just holding his head like if he moved it would shatter. Abigail breathed a whimpered cry in relief trying to reach her arm as far as she could into the room. 

“Mommy.” Abigail cried as Dean against his better judgment moved his arm away from holding his head steady to reach back for her. “Mommy, you’re reaching the wrong way.” Abigail cried as Dean did the opposite direction where he previously reached. Abigail breathed in relief feeling his fingertips against her own. The happiness short-lived when Dean started to vomit. He turned away holding his head as he moved to vomit away from her. “Mommy? Are you okay?” 

“I-...I have a concussion... I think.” Dean breathed so tiredly as he weakly returned to her side. His body begging for him to lay back down and not move. Dean obeyed, laying his body down next to the grate. Dean just continued to cradle his head. 

“What does that mean?” Abigail whispered. 

“It...imm, means dam...omma amme momoa.” Dean slurred as he started to pass out weakly against the drain. 

“Mommy?” Abigail asked touching his hand but he was breathing in sleep. Abigail didn’t realize the warning signs of what Dean was doing and simply laid down next to him cradling his hand against her face. Squeezing the bear close, knowing she couldn’t draw attention to the phone. She placed the bear on the ground she used it as a pillow, checking to see the phone was still live in a call. “...Daddy? Can you hear me?” 

“Abigail?” A faint voice answered. 

“Daddy, I’m scared.” Abigail whimpered in relief. 

“I know, baby. You are so brave.” Castiel’s voice spoke. “Do you know where you are?”

“Somewhere with cows...but there are no cows,” Abigail explained glancing around at the old stains of blood from years ago.

“Is Alexander and Mommy with you?” Castiel spoke before he was corrected by the police who needed to keep it straight forward for evidence. “I mean mommy Dean.”

“My other mommy took Alexander,” Abigail explained. “He got scared and peed.”

“Other mommy...Lisa. Okay. Abigail, It’s okay if he did. I would too... And mommy Dean?” Castiel asked. 

“Mommy is sleeping. He has a booboo on his head.” Abigail reached over carefully touching the dried blood on Dean’s face.

“C-Can you wake Mommy dean and hand him the phone?” Castiel asked.

“You’re in my teddy, they are watching me on the tv,” Abigail commented looking up at the camera.

“Cameras?” Castiel asked someone else before Castiel spoke again. “Abigail, can you wake up mommy and ask him things for me?”

“Okay.” Abigail moved to shake Dean. Dean didn’t react. “Mommy...Mommy…” She tried again but Dean continued to sleep. “Daddy, mommy is sleeping and won’t wake up.” Abigail heard her father suck in air in a choking sob. 

“Abigail, is he breathing?” Sam’s voice interrupted. Abigail moved to squeeze Dean’s nostrils closed, Dean’s mouth opened in need for air. 

“Yes,” Abigail commented. 

“Good. Good.” Another voice, sounding like Michael maybe spoke. 

“...Abigail, we can’t see where you are. The phone is saying you are in a big part of farmlands. They can’t...figure out which farm. Tell me what you see?” Lucifer’s voice called. 

“...It’s dark.” Abigail explained looking around holding the bear to her ear. “And cold.”

“Abi-” Lucifer tried again but the second Abigail heard noises she shoved the bear into her arms and against her chest. Lisa came back with Alexander wet with new clothes on him. Lisa grabbed his used shirt she left here with Abigail to dry him off a bit more. 

“You guys hungry?” Lisa offered as Abigail nodded quickly. Alexander hesitantly nodded too. “Well, Let me get something for you guys.” Abigail watched her go before she put the bear to her ear. 

“Mommy.” Alexander moved to the grate seeing Dean’s hand. He laid next to it holding it in need of comfort.

"Abigail! What do you see?" Lucifer asked. "is there a window?"

“I-I don’t see anything,” Abigail stated. “There are no windows.”

“Okay, we need to keep calm,” Castiel reassured. “Don’t let them know you have the phone.” 

“Okay,” Abigail reassured moving to lay down near her brother. 

“We are coming, okay?” Castiel stated. Abigail nodded but he couldn’t see. “We are going to check every house in that area if we need to.”

“Okay,” Abigail stated holding her damp brother. 

“It’s going to be okay,” Castiel reassured as the call dropped. Abigail could hear the phone hang up. Abigail sadly looked at the bear, when Lisa returned with some snacks. A random assortment as the twins sat up. 

“Can we go in with mommy?” Alexander asked holding Dean’s hand, Abigail looked at him in fear knowing that his innocent comment was going to get her upset. Lisa frowned. 

“No.” Lisa stood forcing Alexander and Abigail away from the grate as she angrily kicked at Dean’s arm. Alexander whimpered turning away. “That pedophile ISN’T your mother! I am!” 

“Y-Yes mommy.” The twins spoke in unison. Lisa slight calmed at their apology. 

“Now eat your food. I’ll bring you some blankets...You guys will be here for a while.” Lisa walked out of the room. Alexander quickly moved back to Dean’s hand kissing it and saying sorry. 

“It’s okay Alex,” Abigail reassured holding him. “Daddy’s coming. It’s going to be okay.” Alexander didn’t say anything but his sorry’s to Dean and his loud sobs. It wasn’t long till Alexander fell asleep on the floor Abigail holding him as Lisa returned bringing them blankets. Her eyes were out of it, she didn’t notice they were once again holding Dean’s arm as Lisa tossed the blankets at them and left to enjoy her high. Abigail snuggled them into one blanket and shoved what she could to cover Dean’s arm. Unable to do more as the twins slowly fell asleep from exhaustion.

  
  


___________________________________________________________________

  
  
  
  
  


Abigail was woken by the sound of the phone beeping in her teddy, Abigail panicked noticing the sound. The battery! Abigail moved toward the drain seeing Dean awake again. Abigail watched Dean petting Alexander’s head with care as he slept. 

“Mommy?”Abigail spoke as Dean grunted just moving his eyes to look at her. His body sick with pain. “Mommy, are you okay?” Dean slowly and weakly nodded his head on the ground scraping his face as he did. He wasn’t but she didn’t need to worry. “Mommy, I have your phone.” Abigail shoved the phone under the grate as Dean looked at it. Softly struggling to take it. 

“D….sa….a.” Dean tried to speak, holding his head. His brain was a mess. Words weren’t coming out right. 

“Daddy?” Abigail understood pushing the call button pushing the phone towards Dean. Dean felt a tear spill out from the pain as he smiled hearing Castiel pick up. 

“Abigail?” Castiel spoke so concernedly. “ Are you guys okay?” 

“Ca….Cas.” Dean struggled to spill out as Castiel paused. 

“Dean?!” Castiel’s voice lit up. “Baby, you need to tell me where you are.” 

“O...Okay.” Dean glanced up noticing a small window on his side. He...was going to have to get up though. Dean grabbed the phone forcing himself to stand. It was an effort and he fell over a handful of times. One Dean had stood he forced himself upon his tippy toes to look out seeing a sign he started to get dizzy and fell to the ground again. Dean tried to choke out the words but he couldn’t. 

“Dean?!” Castiel choked out as Dean vomited onto the floor. Dean tried to force the words out of his head but they were so garbled. Dean noticed the low battery sign, It was now or never. Dean forced himself to the drain and started to trace letters into the sludge of mud between them. 

“A-Alex.” Abigail shook him as Alexander sat up. “Read.” Abigail took the phone from Dean holding it too Alexander.

“...A…” Alexander started. Dean taking his time to get it right, but he would mess up the letters Alexander had to guess what he was trying to write. 

“Alexander, it’s going to die,” Abigail begged as Alexander tried to read the last letter. 

“I-It’s not a letter!” Alexander begged. “Mommy, what is it? You didn’t teach us.” Dean passed out again and wasn’t responding. “Mommy!”

“That’s enough for us baby! We are coming baby, we know where you might be!” Castiel’s voice reassured. Abigail felt tears prickle in her eyes as the sound of someone coming towards their room. Abigail shoved the phone back into her teddy, but Alastair came in angrily. He grabbed the bear out of her hands ripping the phone from the bear. They must have seen her use it. They knew. Alastair put the phone to his hear hearing Castiel on the other end. “Abigail?” 

“Not Abigail,” Alastair stated coldly. “You are pushing me to have to get rid of them a lot sooner than I expected.”

“Get...rid of them?” Castiel choked. 

“Goodbye Castiel.” Alastair shrugged lazily hanging up the phone. Alastair tossed the phone against the wall shattering it as Alastair simply walked out of the room. “I hope you like the upgrades to the room.”

“Alastair! STOP! What are you doing?! I won’t let you hurt them!” Lisa tried to stop him from outside the door but he just shoved her in with them and slammed the door locking it on them. 

Lisa got up pounding on the door slamming on it till the sound of water started to pour in from a pipe connected to the room. The twins screamed as water poured in on them and Lisa from a couple of pipes in the room. The grate barely helped so filled with years of animal fat that it had clogged. Lisa pulled them close as the water like a harsh current started to fill the room. 

“W-We got to get you out of here.” Lisa coked as she noticed the water spilling into the room from Dean’s flooding room too. “The grate.” Lisa tried to move to it. Dean’s room was flooding too but at least he had a small window to try to escape. Lisa kneeled to the grate the water filling quickly, she yanked and pulled till the metal grate separating it from the wall. “Swim through, quickly!” 

Alexander moved through first, easily sliding through the grate he came up for air on the other side. Dean weakly holding onto a pipe against the wall, Alexander moved to him hugging him tightly. 

“Mommy, I’m scared!” Alexander sobbed as Dean pet his back with care. 

“I-I know, baby.” Dean breathed holding him to his body. “I-I’m scared too.” Dean watched Abigail pop up in his room, she was already struggling to stand in the water. Dean took her into his arms, holding them. The water filling up quickly when Abigail noticed her mother didn’t follow.

“Mommy is down there!” Abigail tried as Dean glanced down. He cursed forcing the children to hold onto the pipe to stay afloat. 

“S-Stay.” Dean choked out as he drove under the water. He saw Lisa stuck in the hole, her body unable to fit through and was now stuck. Dean reached for her trying to help pull her through but she wasn’t budging. Lisa showed she was stuck and shook her head no saying she wasn’t able to get out. She grabbed the metal grate next to her on the floor and offered it to Dean. Dean...understood. She...wanted him to rescue the kids. To break the window. 

Dean took the grate forcing himself back up to the surface, he moved to the window. The water now almost to the high window. Dean slammed the break the window. The window at first didn’t break but after a good couple of hits, The window shattered and water came rushing out of it. Dean had to hold the wall to keep from being sucked through. Dean cleaning the glass to keep the kids from getting hurt. 

Dean reached for Alexander, helping him first through the window. Dean helped him down the best he could half out the window to get him to the ground. Alexander landed safely. Dean grunted in pain, forcing himself back into the room. Abigail shaking from the cold as Dean grabbed her holding her close. His ears were ringing, his body threatened to pass out again. 

“Mommy-” Abigail whimpered holding him, her eyes noticing how Dean seemed to start to roll.

“I’m going to be sick.” Dean breathed knowing he had to hurry. Dean helped her down from the window, Alexander took her and helped her down. Dean’s eyes started to roll into the back of his head passing out. The twins noticed him passing out and grabbed his hands keeping him from falling back in. They pulled hard pulling him, the twins held him tightly. 

“Mommy, Mommy wake up!” The twins begged when a hand shot out from behind him grabbing Dean’s arm. The twins glanced up to see Castiel pulling Dean from the window. Collapsing on the ground at his weight. 

“Daddy!” The twins sobbed moving to him. Castiel held them and Dean close, cradling them. 

“Cas?!” Lucifer’s voice spoke looking for him as Castiel called to him.

“Over here! Bring the paramedics, Dean’s hurt!” Castiel stated holding the twins close. Lucifer rounded the corner with the paramedics following after them instantly trying to tend to Dean. Castiel held his kids close once Dean was being carried away. “Are you guys okay?” 

The twins nodded in their tears as Castiel and Lucifer carried them away, Abigail’s eyes went back to the window knowing Lisa didn’t follow after as they walked towards the ambulance. Lucifer and Castiel passing Alastair who was being forced into the back of a police car. 

Lucifer paused recognizing the man and paused as Castiel turned to him.

“Lucifer?” Castiel asked as Lucifer watched the car drive away.

“I know that guy,” Lucifer commented. “...His mother used to be my neighbor.”

“You don’t think…?” Castiel offered as Lucifer looked to Castiel. 

“I don’t know,” Lucifer whispered shaking his head. “Come on, let’s get to the hospital.” 

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Dean opened his eyes tiredly feeling the twins curled against him in sleep, Sam asleep in the corner chair, Dean blinked tiredly seeing Castiel moving closer to his lover. Dean smiled at him tiredly, feeling amazing on pain meds. 

“How long have I been out?” Dean breathed. 

“Almost a week,” Castiel commented as Dean nodded tiredly. “...You have a pretty bad concussion.”

“Yeah, I figured.” Dean breathed weakly as Castiel took his hand. “...Are the kids okay?”

“They are great,” Castiel admitted. “They were a little hungry but they checked out fine.”

“...and you? You okay?” Dean mumbled as Castiel kissed his knuckles. 

“You have the concussion and you worry about me,” Castiel commented with a loving scoff. “Yeah, I was okay. I didn’t drink, I was more worried about you.”

“I’m okay...honestly everything is a blur,” Dean explained. “...but Lisa-” Dean paused realizing but Castiel sadly shook his head no. 

“She didn’t make it,” Castiel commented. “...We buried her next to her parents as she wanted.”

“I tried-” Dean whispered tears filling his eyes.

“No, Don’t do that.” Castiel pulled him close kissing him. “You saved our babies, and you stayed alive for all of us. That’s more than I could ask for.” Dean closed his eyes burying his face into Castiel’s chest. “Lisa made her choices in life, and she decided to spend her last one saving you and my children. I am forever grateful to her for that. I know she’s living in peace now.”

“What about Alastair?” Dean breathed worried. “Did they get him-?”

“He’s under arrest for charges of kidnapping, attempted murder, first-degree murder and a lot of other charges...Including the death of Lucifer’s wife.” Castiel admitted as Dean glanced up.

“What?” Dean asked.

“Lucifer recognized him from his past, asked the police to look into it. They found his DNA at the scene. When confronted, he confessed.” Castiel spoke as Dean covered his mouth in surprise. 

“Lucifer and Teddy must have been so happy.” Dean breathed. 

“Enough we get free meals for life in Haeven.” Castiel chuckled before he pulled out a meal for Dean from the bag. “He’s been bringing you some food every day.”

“Yay.” Dean took the meal happily to munch on.

“Easy.” Castiel laughed as Dean gave a thumbs up. Castiel kissed his head with care, just holding his lover close watching him munching on the food like he had never eaten before. Holding his hand, never wanting to let it go again.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

  
  
  
  
  
  


**A couple of months later:**

  
  
  
  
  
  


Castiel stood on the alter, nervously fiddling with his cuffs. The wedding ceremony was small, only with friends and family. The black beach was beautiful and it worked so well with the black suits and dresses. Castiel wore a white suit as did Dean. 

“Everyone, thank you for coming,” Lucifer spoke into the microphone which Castiel turned. “As everyone knows we are here to celebrate Dean’s and Cas’ wedding. Which is gorgeous and we are all thankful our rich friend paid for the tickets here.” Lucifer joked as everyone laughed. “Dean had one request if they were to do their wedding, he wanted it on the first day of Castiel’s new life. I was confused, of course. Like what does that mean?” Everyone laughed.

“Then Dean explained to me what he meant. Castiel’s first day of being on a year sober.” Lucifer spoke trying not to tear up as he choked out trying to not cry. “Sorry.” He took a second to continue. “Castiel’s first day, after the long hard year of being sober. Then I understood. The first day of Castiel’s new life. The first day he officially became the man we all see in him. The man he never could see in himself. The man we adore and love. A staple in our community, the volunteer in our community center to be the only ice skating teach for children in our city for all kids in need.” Michael was crying as he held Teddy on his lap. Castiel wiped his own tears. 

“We are so fucking proud of you.” Lucifer turned to Castiel. “This is the beginning of the rest of your new life. The beginning you will take hand and hand with the wonderful Dean Winchester. The day a year ago you might have never thought would happen.”

“No.” Castiel choked out wiping his tears. 

“Castiel, everyone here. Are so proud of you. So fucking proud. You were the man we loved from the beginning. This man before us now. Existed then. We were just waiting for you to see it. Now that you have...there is no going back. You are no longer your bottle. You are Castiel fucking Novak, One year sober today!” Lucifer cheered. Everyone clapped as Castiel sniffed wiping his tears. “Now before we get this show on the road...I wanted to present you with your token. Your year coin. I did the honors of putting it into a pin for you to wear all day on this most beautiful day.” Lucifer pinned it onto his suit. “We love you, man.”

Castiel pulled him close into a tight hug as everyone clapped and cheered, Lucifer pulled away after a moment to wipe his tears before he sat down near Michael. Castiel heard the music start which Castiel wiped his tears trying not to cry. Abigail came down first tossing her flowers as the flower girl as Alexander followed after her holding the rings. Though Alexander kept helping toss the flowers when they got to the end, Abigail simply dumped the flowers making everyone laugh as the twins stood next to their daddy. 

When the music started for here comes the bride, Castiel choked out a sob seeing Sam walking Dean down the aisle. How beautiful Dean looked as Dean wiped his own tears falling. Castiel covered his mouth just sobbing as Sam handed Dean off to him. Dean kissed kiss brother’s forehead before he moved to stand to the side taking Gabriel's hand that had a promise ring on it. Sam kissed Gabriel's cheek pulling him closer as Gabriel watched the wedding. 

Castiel...was honestly a mess. Castiel’s hand shook in Dean’s hand as he cried so happy, Dean trying not to cry but Castiel was making it hard. It wasn’t till the heartfelt ‘I do’s’ and the ‘you may kiss you groom’ that Castiel cupped Dean’s face pulling him into a dip. Everyone stood scream and clapping as Dean’s hand loving touched the sobriety pin.

  
  
  
  
  
  


**The end**


End file.
